I Am Legend
by Psychotronicman, Tue Feb 19, 2008 at 05:57:16 AM EST
2011: I stare at a wasteland. Where once there was free speech and equality there is now only group-think and empty streets. It started as a seemingly good thing but the Obama virus soon spread out of control, decimating all free thought in its wake. Now I stand alone. The last surviving Hillary supporter on Earth.
Excerpts from the last known radio transmissions made by the Psychotronicman:
*I take careful aim with my bow and arrow at some squirrels in the park. I have had no luck finding any guns since the Obama virus blended with the Reagan virus and burned the constitution and all guns were destroyed. I hope that I will be able to find a hidden cache someday so that my hunt for fresh food will become easier. Sadly my recent search of Charlton Heston's abandoned house turned up no guns.
*It is early morning and I drag myself out of bed to face yet another day with only my dog to talk reasonable politics with. The loneliness is crushing. I continue to transmit a message on my short-wave radio. "I haven't forgotten about you." along with detailed instructions to meet me at the local Hometown Buffet at 12 noon everyday in what is seeming to be the vain hope that, somehow, someone else survived the devastation.
*After shaving three times and putting on make-up to disguise my age I venture out to try and find a cure for the plague. I leave my home-made pamphlets about free speech and real national policy positions near the places that 'They' frequent in hopes that one may read them and be re-infected with common sense and start a counter virus to reverse the plague. I know that this is fruitless but I must keep trying. A giant pile of empty wheelchairs blocks me as I make my way through the city. Where did all the old people go? There were rumors of them being shipped off to Texas but soon all news of them stopped. Nothing since then.
*I make a huge mistake and forget the time. It is almost dark and soon they will come out. I can already hear their demented chanting in the distance. I jump into my stolen Honda Civic hybrid with my dog and race throught the streets towards home. I lose control of the vehicle swerving to avoid an abandoned SUV and crash into a truck carrying crates full of Kool-Aid. The noxious fluid spills all over my dog. Carrying him in my arms I already know it is too late. He is infected. Safely locked back in my fortress of solitude I see the changes start to happen immediately. His eyes go glassy and vacant and he begins to mindlessly snarl and snap at my autographed picture of Chelsea Clinton. Sadly I rise from my chair and approach him with a sledgehammer.
*They have found me! I cower in fear hearing their chants of 'hope' and 'change' coming from right outside. They are pounding at my door and and I know it is just a matter of time before they break through. I clutch the last remaining copy of '1984' for comfort as I hear them break down the door. I can already smell their noxious breath, a mixture of Starbucks and Kool-Aid. I try not to tremble knowing it will soon be over and horribly I will become one of them. I am legend.
End of transmissons.