General Motors for President
by PaulSiegel, Fri Jan 29, 2010 at 07:39:25 PM EST
Do you like any of the current Republican president-wannabe's, such as Romney and Pawlenty? Or do you prefer the great Teabagger Sarah Palin? None of these or other conservative people under consideration for the most important job in America are remotely as capable as General Motors.
General Motors has all the requirements for running for president. General Motors is a person who was born in the United States and he (she) is more than 35 years old.
General Motors is a true American and an outstanding Republican. Everybody knows that "what's good for General Motors is good for America." General Motors would unify the party like no one else can. He (she) would make sure that taxes would be cut for all corporations and for entrepreneurs and industrialists. He (she) would reduce government so it would occupy the proverbial bathtub. An austere bathtub.
General Motors will place emphasis not on costly government but on the free market, about which he (she) knows a lot about. He (she) even knows how to get a bailout from the government when he (she) screws up.
Up until today, General Motors had to be satisfied with the measely sums he (she) contributed to various election campaigns. But now the U.S. Supreme Court has seen the light, and concluded that General Motors is a person and is entitled to contribute as much money as he (she) wishes to campaigns. This put the exciting and mind-boggling idea in my mind that General Motors would be a great president.
Wow! Not only will General Motors be able to smooth out the American economy, he (she) would have tremendous influence over foreign affairs. After all, a good part of him (her) is foreign.
Strike up the band. The Republicans have a true American in General Motors. General Motors has lots of money (most likely because of the Democratic bailout, but who cares). With the money he (she) has, General Motors will destroy Obama and the Democrats in the next presidential election and then go on to become one of America's greatest presidents.