Michele Bachmann Thinks Obama Has a God Problem
by omnipotentpoobah, Thu Dec 09, 2010 at 07:14:32 PM EST
One of the few bright spots – perhaps the only bright spot – since the Presidential elections is the absence of the annual calls for an anti-flag burning amendment or the “if you don’t wear a flag pin you’re the Anti-Christ” movement. Of course, we still have the War on Christmas, but even Bill O’Reilly’s heart doesn’t seem to be in it this year.
But take heart America, there’s always one loon with Orly Taitzian persistence who’ll never give up on the inane…Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Dumbassasota).
Big surprise, huh?
Dear God, Who Aren’t in Speeches…
This time her special crusade is that Obama doesn’t say God enough – an ‘issue’ so spectacularly stupid, even John Boehner can see it. And to compound the asshattery, her Christian sensibilities were offended by a speech in which Obama actually used the word God – four times by my count.
Bachmann and some in the Congressional Prayer Caucus wrote a letter (.pdf file) to The Messiah™ objecting to his incorrect citing of the phrase, E pluribus unum as our national motto. Nay, nay they say, tis really In God We Trust, as if God’s name isn’t already invoked enough for the American Taliban.
Of course, they are correct. Their Christian forebearers, in 1955, parted a sea of people who didn’t give a whit to officialize the motto and print it on money because, well, religion and money go together like stink and sh*t.
So OK, the O-Man – or more precisely his speechwriters – don’t know their ass from their motto. If Bachmann wants to criticize that, so be it, she IS correct. But isn’t Obama a bit distracted by a country going down the tubes like a hairball in a freshly plunged toilet? Shouldn’t Bachmann be just a tad worried about such things too.
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Earmarklessness
Of course, there are better things for Bachmann, the Congressional Prayer Caucus, and President Careless Bear to do. For example, Bachmann’s crusade against earmarks. Apparently not aware of it herself, some people actually listened to her for once and went along. The problem was – oops – that meant she wouldn’t get any earmarks either. So, she’s decided to “redefine earmarks” in much the same way Christians redefined the national motto as In God We Trust.
Oddly, I’m actually heartened by this news. It only confirms just how goobulent she and her followers are and provides a nice comedic respite from The Party of Hell No and The Party of Pusillanimous Pussies. Clearly, Jay Leno has a thing or two to learn about writing a good comedy monologue.
Michelle, expect a letter from me soon. Your dedication to the public service of making your fellow citizens laugh their asses off in the face economic collapse and an outbreak of leaking wikis is admirable. In fact, it may be the only rock left for an unstable nation to attach itself to.
Thanks Rep. Bachmann, the people of America salute you!
Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!
Tags: Barack Obama, Congressional Prayer Caucus, E pluribus unum, égalité, fraternité, God, In God We Trust, Jay Leno, John Boehner, Liberté, Michele Bachmann, Michele Bachmann in bikini, antichrist, Earmarks (all tags)