Disappointment And What's Best: How To "Get Over It"
by nrafter530, Mon Aug 25, 2008 at 09:03:46 AM EDT
Ok, I'm not sure how much I like the title, but I can't think of a better one...if I do, I'll change it.
Growing up, no one liked the lose any less than me. I was the textbook example of a sore loser. I couldn't play in little league. If I lost a game, I'd hit other kids with my mit, throw balls and bats at them, and just be plain nasty.
It took a lot of time and growing up to get rid of that sore loser persona. I never played sports...I didn't enjoy competition because I didn't enjoy losing. I was an eldest son, I always got what I wanted. I always won.
By the time I got to college, I had grown up somewhat, but I still wasn't used to losing. I didn't like to lose. Then something big happened...I lost and I had to deal with it.
Here's my story;
In college, I worked for my school radio station. I stood for Program Director, the top student position at the station and lost out to someone who had been at the station for less than a year, while I had been there just over two years. I had been News Director and Traffic Director and worked in the Public Relations Committee, hosted the morning show and anchored the news show. This guy who beat me for the job did the indie rock show once a week and produced it and was barely seen around the station during the day. Few people really knew him. Because I was graduating in 18 months, this was my only chance and I had lost it.
I went home after being turned down, sulked on my bed for over an hour, amazed that they would turn down someone like me, who had done so much for the station and been in so many positions and dedicated so much time and how the hell can this guy who has done little beat me? The hiring committee included a couple of my closest friends. It made me think; "How could my own friends say no to me?" I debated quitting the radio station and abandoning all my friends because I was so angry. F*ck the station, I thought, it could burn down for all I care. How dare they do this to me. Is this what I worked so hard for?
Then I thought about it and I realized...this isn't about me. They didn't say no because they want to hurt ME. My friends didn't owe their vote to ME because they were my friends. They did it because they thought it was best for the station. Sure I disagreed, but I made my case and lost...and running away from the station and everything I had worked for wasn't going to help my future. It wasn't going to help me get a job after graduation or make connections before I graduate. Was I going to throw all that out because I didn't get picked? Really?
Long story short, I became good friends with the Program Director and at the end of the year, decided to take out an extra loan to go to school for a fifth year to take a second minor and that gave me the opportunity to stand again for Program Director. I got hired and it was the best year of my life.
And in the end that second minor (International Affairs) is the biggest reason why I ended up in Italy. If it wasn't for getting turned down for Program Director the first time, that might have never happened.
It all worked out in the end.