Disappointment And What's Best: How To "Get Over It"

Ok, I'm not sure how much I like the title, but I can't think of a better one...if I do, I'll change it.

Growing up, no one liked the lose any less than me. I was the textbook example of a sore loser. I couldn't play in little league. If I lost a game, I'd hit other kids with my mit, throw balls and bats at them, and just be plain nasty.

It took a lot of time and growing up to get rid of that sore loser persona. I never played sports...I didn't enjoy competition because I didn't enjoy losing. I was an eldest son, I always got what I wanted. I always won.

By the time I got to college, I had grown up somewhat, but I still wasn't used to losing. I didn't like to lose. Then something big happened...I lost and I had to deal with it.

Here's my story;

In college, I worked for my school radio station. I stood for Program Director, the top student position at the station and lost out to someone who had been at the station for less than a year, while I had been there just over two years. I had been News Director and Traffic Director and worked in the Public Relations Committee, hosted the morning show and anchored the news show. This guy who beat me for the job did the indie rock show once a week and produced it and was barely seen around the station during the day. Few people really knew him. Because I was graduating in 18 months, this was my only chance and I had lost it.

I went home after being turned down, sulked on my bed for over an hour, amazed that they would turn down someone like me, who had done so much for the station and been in so many positions and dedicated so much time and how the hell can this guy who has done little beat me? The hiring committee included a couple of my closest friends. It made me think; "How could my own friends say no to me?" I debated quitting the radio station and abandoning all my friends because I was so angry. F*ck the station, I thought, it could burn down for all I care. How dare they do this to me. Is this what I worked so hard for?

Then I thought about it and I realized...this isn't about me. They didn't say no because they want to hurt ME. My friends didn't owe their vote to ME because they were my friends. They did it because they thought it was best for the station. Sure I disagreed, but I made my case and lost...and running away from the station and everything I had worked for wasn't going to help my future. It wasn't going to help me get a job after graduation or make connections before I graduate. Was I going to throw all that out because I didn't get picked? Really?

Long story short, I became good friends with the Program Director and at the end of the year, decided to take out an extra loan to go to school for a fifth year to take a second minor and that gave me the opportunity to stand again for Program Director. I got hired and it was the best year of my life.

And in the end that second minor (International Affairs) is the biggest reason why I ended up in Italy. If it wasn't for getting turned down for Program Director the first time, that might have never happened.

It all worked out in the end.

Tags: 2008 Democratic primary, 2008 elections, Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton (all tags)



Re: Disappointment

While it's naive to think that everything always works out in the end, in this situation there is a plausible scenario where it could.  Hillary Clinton isn't being sent to Siberia.  If Obama wins the next logical target for the Dems would be the glass ceiling.  Clinton is likely to be the only woman in 2016 who has the stature to run for the presidency.

If Obama loses because pro-Clinton Dems don't turn out for him, how could the next day's headline be anything but this: "McCain Wins, Gets Votes from Many Dems, World Wonders if US is Too Racist to Elect Black President".

At a minimum, that's some very bad mojo.  I don't know if this would deal a fatal wound to Clinton's presidential aspirations, but it would introduce something into Democratic politics something which didn't exist before this year.

The Republicans know this, which is why they're cheering the Puma people on.  Did anyone else catch William Kistol's crocodile tears for Clinton in the NY Times?  This is the same person who wrote this last January:

Thank you, Senator Obama. You've defeated Senator Clinton in Iowa. It looks as if you're about to beat her in New Hampshire. There will be no Clinton Restoration. A nation turns its grateful eyes to you.

Your analogy is good but it misses something crucial.  You have to introduce an actor who wants the radio station to fail (not just you, or the Program Director). Really, a false friend.

by IncognitoErgoSum 2008-08-25 09:48AM | 0 recs
Written in Stone

Actually, even more then that, If Obama goes down, the younger portion of the party wont forget it.  I wont lie, that a part of the party could be this narcissistic doesn't sit well with many people and God forbid there is a President Mccain, because there will never, not ever be a President Clinton.

by Brandon 2008-08-25 10:27AM | 0 recs
Re: More so

It wouldn't damage women's aspirations.  I have no doubt the next time there is an open primary season a woman will run and she'll get the support of many who supported Hillary Clinton this time around.  She'll also get the support of many who backed Obama, because there wouldn't be the collision between gender and racial identity politics which occurred this time (who thinks another African-American contender is going to emerge anytime soon?  Obama was in the right place at the right time, but I don't think the coalition which backed him would come together again).

If Obama loses this year, though, I think that would fatally damage Hillary Clinton's presidential aspirations.  For reasons fair and unfair, she'd get tagged for the Dem defections this year.  No one has a crystal ball, of course, but here's what I suspect would happen.

In the next race Clinton would run against another "Anti-Clinton" (and his name, let's face it, would probably be Mark Warner or, with his new national exposure, Joe Biden).  The women who backed Clinton this year would support her.  Most African-American voters, however, wouldn't, same with young people and Dem-leaning indies, the Kos and MoveOn progressives, and, fatally, many of the "hard working white people" who voted for Clinton this time around.

Just think this through.  She'd probably still have to go through the same round of early primaries (ie. she'd lose Iowa again, her ability to win New Hampshire would depend upon the number of opponents she faced, and then she'd be off to South Carolina).

Warner or Biden could pick her off.  Do you think that many of the Dems who didn't have a strong preference for either candidate this year would want a repeat of last spring's primary season?  Warner could win southern whites straight out.  Biden could do the same with working class folk, seniors, and Catholics, or at least split them evenly.

But Clinton would make no inroads, I'd bet, with anyone who voted for Obama this time around.  If the calender in 2012 were like this one, my bet, she'd lose the whole thing by Super Tuesday.  If she couldn't get the votes of people who supported Obama this year, but lost any segment of those who backed her this year, game over.

Another woman who ran for the presidency, however, would not face this branding problem.  And neither, actually, would Hillary Clinton, if Obama wins this time around.  A Dem victory this fall would erase all of the animosities stirred up by the primary season.  That's the scenario where Clinton, in some future election, could win commanding majorities based upon the votes of African-Americans, progressives, young people, etc. (they'd have no reason for a preemptive vote against her, she would have shown that she was a team player).

If Obama goes down in flames, Clinton will probably go down as well.  That's how I see it, anyway.  And who would be the beneficiary?

In the short-term, anyone who could make a credible case that he was a unifier who had nothing to do with this (hypothetical debacle).  And yes, that almost certainly would be a he.  How anxious would the Dems be to risk a nontraditional candidate after such an unusual loss?

My hunch, though, in 2016-24 another woman would come along, throw her hat into the ring, and win w/o any problems.  I don't think this hypothetical woman is a national figure today.  She'd basically be the new Obama (but with a much larger base).  There's going to be a wave of retirements over the next ten years or so.  Watch who runs for the senate in California.

Thing is, it won't be Clinton.  Unless Obama wins this year, in which case I think she's the clear favorite in 2016.  But without that sort of political cleansing, think she'll never do better than she did this year.    

by IncognitoErgoSum 2008-08-25 12:55PM | 0 recs
Re: I'd watch

Stephanie Herseth Sandlin (D Rep from South Dakota) is another excellent prospect.  

by IncognitoErgoSum 2008-08-25 02:02PM | 0 recs
telling people to "get over it"

delays the process of their getting over it. I am convinced of that.

I believe the large majority of disappointed Clinton supporters will ultimately come home to vote for Obama. Badgering or hectoring them doesn't help. Listening to them and showing empathy for their point of view might help and certainly can't hurt.

by desmoinesdem 2008-08-25 09:59AM | 0 recs
Re: Sometimes

Read This Quickly:  Because all of my posts are getting censored by this bastion of democracy--anyway, of course MOST Clinton voters will be backing Saint Barack (we want the oceans to stop their rise too) it's the 20-25% of us who will make sure he loses.  Asd I just said in another deleted post--it's up to 27% in a just released poll-proof of what I said would happen when Clinton voters are put wise to the fact that she wasn't even considered by His Holiness to be on the ticket. But I forgot she doesn't represent "change" the way Biden does. But don't forget he's "scrappy" and from Scranton.

by handsomegent 2008-08-25 10:30AM | 0 recs
Re: Sometimes

You're a despicable, loathsome troll, handsomegent, and a disgrace to everything that Hillary's worked for.

But you already knew that. That's why you come here.

I'll think with pleasure of you gnashing your gums (you'll already have worn your teeth to the roots) when Obama wins in November.

by JoeW 2008-08-25 12:07PM | 0 recs

Our task is not to "get over" anything. It's to get as many of the Clinton voters as we can muster to pledge not to vote for Obama. There's nothing to get over. And of course the Obama crowd would be doing the exact same thing (and don't say otherwise because you're lying).

by handsomegent 2008-08-25 10:05AM | 0 recs
Re: PLease...


by fogiv 2008-08-25 10:08AM | 0 recs
if the tables were turned

some Obama diehards would refuse to vote for Hillary, but I believe the overwhelming majority would come home to the Democratic Party in time for the November election--including many of those who swore in the heat of the primary battle that they would never vote for Hillary if she "stole" the nomination.

Many of us have also been in the position of supporting a candidate who lost after being treated unfairly. It's up to each individual to decide what to do with those feelings.

I would encourage PUMAs to find some down-ticket Democrats they can support wholeheartedly, and focus energy in that direction. But that's just my opinion.

by desmoinesdem 2008-08-25 10:17AM | 0 recs
Re: PLease...

Why is this guy still allowed to post?

I thought the purpose of this site was to work to get Democrats elected.

This guy has publically stated multiple times that not only is he not doing anything to elect a Democrat, he is actively working to prevent the Democrat from winning.

So what gives, mods?

by PSUdan 2008-08-25 10:32AM | 0 recs

I think it already lost starting around February. I already left once only to return at the end of the primary foolishly thinking that things would change because of it. I'm now seriously thinking about leaving again but returning to gloat on November 5.

by conspiracy 2008-08-25 11:49AM | 0 recs
Re: Great Point Handsomegent

Some hot head Obamamaniacs should step back & think how they would have reacted if Clinton overcame Obama's lead & won the nomination.

The MSM kept on bringing up the issue of blacks & young people abandoning HRC if she caught Obama & end up with the nomination.

Then you had black characters like Al Sharpton & Jesse Jackson who kept repeating the mantra," We will protect Obama's votes, We will protect the will of the people".

Somehow someone forgot to tell the Media & these so called black leaders that the REAL SLEEPING GIANT are White working class voters, White women & Latinos.

Now these same Obamamaniacs have no idea how to bring the party together.

ABC's latest poll 48 hours ago show an alarming number. About 40% of Clinton supporters plan to support McCain. And that does not include the so called " Bradley effect" white voters who are saying one thing today but will vote for McCain in the secrecy of the voting booth.

Whats amazing is Obama was suppose to get a bounce upon the dramatic announcement of Biden.

Instead he literally lost his lead & his numbers went down due to more HRC defections.

This is real folks. I would suggest you listen to several good advice on this thread.

We are now pretty much in September. We are 9 weeks away. This is not July anymore.

Anyone who is married or has a girlfriend knows that you cannot just simply sweep most women off their feet just by uttering sweat nothings.

Obama has a lot of work to do.

by latinomaker 2008-08-25 10:33AM | 0 recs
Re: Great Point Handsomegent

Anyone who is married or has a girlfriend knows that you cannot just simply sweep most women off their feet just by uttering sweat nothings.

Yeah, those "women" are so difficult, aren't they? You can't reason with them or expect them to be adults, you gotta work harder to stir their emotions.

We aren't talking about girlfriends, and we arent' talking about love. This is an election, and it is about defining history. Anybody, men or women, who are in a position where they are voting based on anything other than who has put forth the best future for the country doesn't deserve a democracy.

And anyone who is trying to change people's minds through emotional appeal is a douchebag. This means you, "handsomegent".

by vcalzone 2008-08-25 11:00AM | 0 recs
Excuse me????

First of all, as an owner of a salon in south Florida, I encountered many women who were steadfast supporters of Hillary. However, once it became apparent that she would not be the presumptive nominee, those same women in the northwest Broward area- who tend to be more affluent and perhaps more mentally sound -realized that Obama was the only acceptable and logical choice.They certainly weren't lowering themselves to victimhood status because Ms. Clinton neglected to achieve her due coronation.  Some of the more downscale, beer-drinking, dungaree wearing Dick and Jane HRC supporters will never vote for Obama no matter what he says or does. To put it simplistically, many of her more avid supporters are less culturally sophisticated and refuse to vote for someone whose first and middle name they regard as a challenge to spell.

by april34fff 2008-08-25 11:22AM | 0 recs
What are you basing this on exactly?

"Whats amazing is Obama was suppose to get a bounce upon the dramatic announcement of Biden.

Instead he literally lost his lead & his numbers went down due to more HRC defections."

CNN? One single poll does not a summer make. It could have shown a McCain lead if it had been taken two days earlier for all you know. Gallup is steady. Rasmussen shows slight movement to Obama. Any significant movement in either direction, if it was show up anywhere, would be in these two tracking polls as it has done from other events like Wright, Hillary dropping-out and the Berlin speech. In other words you have no idea what you are talking about.

by conspiracy 2008-08-25 11:46AM | 0 recs
Hello again

I'm finally back her again.  
As I have mentioned before, I am a Joe Lieberman Democrat who is very hawkish on foreign policy, but liberal on domestic policy.  I first supported Biden, then Clinton, and would support McCain over Obama.

However now that Obama has picked my guy Biden, I'm reconsidering.  I still think Obama is way too dovish, but if McCain picks the asshat Romney, I'll do the unthinkable and vote Democratic.

by Clintonite4McCainA 2008-08-25 01:46PM | 0 recs


Advertise Blogads