They Did It AGAIN!!!
by Mike Stark, Sat Nov 04, 2006 at 12:00:22 PM EST
Well, his supporters supported him again today. They really are a bunch of jock straps.
I however, saw an opening. There was no obstruction between me and the door through which the Senator had to pass in order to get to the tarmac. I made haste to establish position so that I could ask my question before the Senator left. I had just about arrived when I saw a blur out of my peripheral vision. A kid that had stood in front of me during Allen's speech (whispering things back and forth to whom I thought was his mom) just barely clipped my arm and took a dive.
There was a cop right there. "Why did you push him?" he asked as he grabbed my arms and began the process of handcuffing me. Of course, I did nothing of the sort. I knew the entire time that I was at that event that I needed to be on my best behavior. And I was.
I had been questioned hostily throughout the wait for the Senator and I answered all questions with patience, sincerity and politeness.
The beautiful part about all of this? There's video of everything that happened. Look for it soon.
In the meantime, I thought I'd help Senator Allen with his oppo research. He will certainly be putting out another press release detailing my sordid past. I want to get out in front of that and confess some stuff.
- 'tis tru that when I was in the sixth grade, I burped obnoxiously and disrupted class. For that, I was sent to the principle's office. It is a part of my permanent record.
- More than once, I've gone to bed at night without brushing my teeth.
- I sometimes sit too close to the TV
- I once grew my hair long and listened to heavy metal music.
- In my past, I engaged in pre-marital sex. Usually after drinking too much. Sometimes I regretted it.
- I'm a Darwinist. Yes, that's right, I believe in that radical thing called science ...
- I was once married to a Jewish girl. We divorced, and now I am one half of an inter-racial marraige. And we've created progeny.
Anyway, that stuff is a little juicier than the stuff in his last hit piece - that I actually engage in the electoral process and write about it on the internets.