Brit(ney) condemns Hillary Hate
by kellogg, Sat May 24, 2008 at 04:07:47 PM EDT
Britney Spears has just issued the following statement:
Hey y'all! I bet you know what I'm feeling. I tell you, I'm so psyched I got my kids back, even if it is only kinda sorta part-time. And now that Kevin and I are havin' phone sex and all, I can quit going to the Quik-E Mart in my underwear to get my smokes and Red Bull. I can ask Kevin to send a carton and a case with the kids! I bet he'll remember to belt 'em in (the kids I mean)
Hey, speaking of relationships y'all, how about Hills and Obama? I heard they're havin' a real hard time, but their relationship is still pretty new. That can be tough. But hey -- wanna hear somethin' funny? I didn't even know she'd left Bill! And now she doesn't want to get married in his church 'cause she hates his pastor who's retired, and he's, like, doing Jay-Z moves in public just to piss her off.
The truth is, sometimes I've wanted to kill Kevin. I really have. But if she wants him back, she should think about her options. Like, what about messing with one of the paps? Boy I tell you, that phone started ringing when the pictures of me and Adnan started getting around. Or, maybe a new hairstyle. But saying stupid stuff is just a cry for help, and trust me, that's not where you want to go.