AmericaSpeakingOut.com is the Awesomestst!
by January 20, Thu May 27, 2010 at 07:49:04 AM EDT
By gosh and by golly, the good ol' GOP has blasted past our pathetic progressive old-school online endeavors to create the most awesomestst interactive site in the greatest country in the entire world! AmericaSpeakingOut.com totally rocks in a funky freedom-loving way that we lefty libs can only envy from behind our elite endive salads.
This site is so totally pumpin' that it's as if someone has converted Michael Steele's deep thinking directly into html!
Not only is it interactive but it also awards BADGES!!!!!!! Yes, I said BADGES!!!!!!! Ain't no wussy lefty site that gives good old military-style like-patriotism-on-my-sleeve honest-to-goodness BADGES!!!!!!! Actually they're not really honestly badges, but kinda virtual badges that are just as good - or even better because they honor our troops! (Somehow, I suppose.) I earned my first badge for filling in the whole sign-in page! Awesomer!
You probably know that this site is full of GREAT suggestions to get our contry back from the socialist Nazis who currently have it in a "European" death grip. And you probably know that Great Patriots who Love Their Country vote up the best and most awsomest of the suggestions so that cream rises to the top and the GOP develops a platform that truly represents the best of (real) America!
So what sort of Americariffic suggestions are already on the site I hear you asking...well here are just a few:
Uh, in just a second because of...
A very high volume of Americans are speaking out right now. Please wait a moment and try again.
Okay, a few Americans stopped outspeaking and made room for me. Here goes!
FORCE OBAMA TO SHOW US HIS LONG FORM BIRTH CERTIFIGATE.
SEND ALL MEXICANS AND BLACKS BACK TO WHERE THEY BELONG.
I respectfully accept the party's nomination to be the Presidential candidate in 2012.
Barbie dolls and magazines are giving little girls unrealistic expectations of air brushing and plastic!!
More outspeaking after the jump!
Can you hear me, Morpheus? I'm going to be honest with you. I hate this
place, this zoo, this prison, this reality, whatever you want to call it. I can't stand it any longer. It's the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink. And every time I do I feel I have somehow been infected by it. It's repulsive, isn't it? I must get out of here. I must get free and in this mind is the key, my key. Once Zion is destroyed there is no need for me to be here, don't you understand? I need the codes. I have to get inside Zion, and you have to tell me how. You're going to tell me or you're going to die.
The NCAA should institute a playof
f system for football. Every other sport has playoffs, even high school football. Judges and voting are fine for figure skating, but a football champion should be decided on the field.
Money has not served us well. Instead, I propose that we switch to a hat-based economy.
How can they even think we mated with Neanderthals? Only crazy scientists could come up with such evil. God made us in HIS image, not in some apeman's.
Birth certificates can only be legally issued from contiguous states.
We should make Atheists wear a special symbol on their clothes. Like, we could make communists wear a hammer and cycle, and liberals (cowards) wear a yellow peace sign. And illegals could wear a taco.
Can we rename some of the international salad dressings? For example, Russian dressing could be "Reuben sauce" and Italian dressing could be called "thick 'n' sour". Or if you want a more American sounding name, it could be called "Nashville dressing". But I like "Thick 'n' sour". That way, people who have never had it will know what it tastes like.
Abolish fractions! They make my head hurt.
Gay intercourse is gross. I'm sorry, I just find it to be gross.
EARTH HAS 4 CORNER SIMULTANEOUS 4-DAY TIME CUBE IN ONLY 24 HOUR ROTATION. 4 CORNER DAYS, CUBES 4 QUAD EARTH- No 1 Day God.
Why are the David and the Venus de Milo allowed to remain unclothed in public? Someone should cover their shame already!
Someone should do something about all these non-white people. They are making me uncomfortable.
Ronald Regan should be posthumously promoted to 'Dear Leader, President for Eternity' and every home and office should be required to display his image in every room.
The nice rich people that stole all my money told me it was actually the brown people. I guess I'll keep voting for those nice rich people, I don't want the brown people to get any more of my stuff.
Bring back firearms training in the schools. Most kids today don't know squat about guns. How can we have a well regulated militia when all these kids know is video games. First time one of these little socialist raised demokids pulls down on a Glock 21 he'll know how good it feels to be Republican.
Can I borrow some points? I am just 50 away from upgrading my armor. Also, we're planning to quest at 7:30pm in Channel 3.
Do they let you post the same thing over and over again?
I have this friend who is kinda boring, but I'm still friends with him anyway.
Where is the link for rent-a-boy?
I would have posted more but I keep getting runtime errors - this is clearly a gotcha ploy by the lamestream media or the work of Obama's evil "fairness" doctine, but I hope you get the idea of the awesome brilliant geniousness of this mindstroke motherload. I didn't dig deep for these gems, all of them popped up on the very first comple of pages that managed to display for me.
I salute you GOP braintrust!