Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton (updated)

I support Hillary Clinton as the Democratic Party nominee and as the next President of the United States for reasons which I've expressed over the last 6 months. So, most of you here on MyDD know that I'm an ardent supporter of Hillary Clinton. But, you don't know that I'm like 1 in 10 Americans who many still refer to as a sinner, a sexual deviant, or as an abomination. So, today, in honor of Gay Pride month, I'm coming out of the closet on MyDD to share my very personal story why I will continue to support and stand by Hillary Clinton.

I grew up in a small town in central Virginia in the 1980's. Luckily, I passed. Passed? Passed as a heterosexual. It helped that I was popular and my quirkiness wasn't questioned. I wasn't subjected to the harassment, bullying, and teasing of which other tomboys or sissies became targets. But what happened to me was just as harmful. I hid. I hid from my family, my friends, and my community. In my last two years of high school, I was confused, alone, and becoming increasingly more depressed to the point of suicidal. By sheer will (and maybe a touch of grace), I made it to college. I started meeting people who were different, men and women who weren't afraid to express themselves outside of the norm, outside of social expectation, outside of heterosexuality. They didn't conform.

[continue over the fold]

Then, in 1991, a little known Governor from Arkansas running for President come out and openly expressed support for gays and lesbians. He spoke out, he validated -- on a national political stage -- my right to serve this country without fear of discrimination. Both Bill and Hillary challenged the heterosexual hegemony of this country and gave the LGBT community an opening in our national discourse. Bill and Hillary supported LGBT rights at their own political peril and against a huge backlash from their own party, Republicans, and religious organizations. They stood up for me and kicked the closet door open. Their strength encouraged me to make the long journey of coming out to myself, my family, my friends, and my community. Although the 1993 compromise policy, Don't Ask Don't Tell, fell short of what the Clinton's wanted, it started the country on the journey toward equal rights for LGBT Americans.

Even though that was almost 20 years ago, here I am today, coming out because (heterosexual) hegemony still exists. This country has much work to do to end employment discrimination and hate crimes against LBGT Americans, and establish equal rights, benefits, and marriage equality. Hillary has been and will continue to be a champion of civil rights, LGBT rights, and women's rights. She has faced the fire and brimstone and is still standing up. As President, Hillary will continue to work for and with the LGBT community to ensure we enjoy the same rights and protections as other citizens. June is the celebration of Gay Pride. In honor, Hillary released this statement:

As we begin Gay Pride Month, I join the LGBT community in celebrating an historic year in which our country continues to make progress towards the fair and equal treatment of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Americans. Still, we have so much work to do. I look forward to working with the LGBT community to make sure that all Americans in committed relationships have equal benefits and that nothing stands in the way of loving couples who want to adopt children in need. We need to expand our federal hate crimes legislation and pass a fully-inclusive Employment Non-Discrimination Act. And finally, we need to put an end to the failed policy of Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Courage, honor, patriotism and sacrifice - the traits that define our men and women in uniform - have nothing to do with sexual orientation.

To each and every LGBT American, I say this: You have done so much to help this country understand your lives by simply being open and honest about who you are and living your lives with dignity. Thank you for your courage. It is time that we recognize your hard work. I know that this country is ready for changes in the law that reflect the evolution in our hearts. You deserve a government that treats you with the respect you deserve.

America deserves a President who appeals to the best in each of us, not the worst; a President who values and respects all Americans and treats all Americans equally no matter who they are or who they love. That is truly the promise of America.

My connection to the Clintons runs deep and is very personal. In many ways, they saved my life. After I read Hillary's statement, it reminded me of where my journey began with the Clintons and why I will stand by Hillary as long as she is in this race. It's simple; Bill and Hillary stood up for me when it was the most politically unpopular thing to do. Hillary still stands by me, and as President, she will continue to stand by me, the LGBT community, and the American community -- all shapes, sizes, colors, creeds, and orientations -- all of us that make up this fabric of free citizens who have the right to live, love, and pursue happiness without fear of persecution, discrimination, and marginalization.

There, I've said it. It's done. I can't retract these words. I've left the safety of blending in. I'm out, I'm proud, I'm standing up for and standing by Hillary. Now, I leave you with a vid of Hillary Clinton speaking at the Human Rights Campaign about a year ago.

Update [2008-6-2 19:55:24 by grlpatriot]: Thank you to everyone for putting this diary on the Rec list. I appreciate your support for the LGBT community and "coming out" for Hillary comments. I especially want to highlight something that Catilinus wrote in his/her comment: "...not all patriot struggles happen in battle, nor often in the company of allies...[LBGT] stories...should be celebrated in our school text books, along with others who fought their own lonely battle to make this country better than the one they inherited."

Tags: 2008, Bill Clinton, bisexual, civil rights, civil unions, Coming Out, Democratic Convention, Democratic Nominee, Democratic Party, Denver, don't ask don't tell, Employment Non-Discrimination Act, Federal Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), Federal Marriage Amendment (FMA), gay, Gay Marriage, Gay Pride, hate crimes, hate speech, Hillary Clinton, human rights, Human Rights Campaign, lesbian, LGBT, presidential election, presidential primary, transgendered, women's rights (all tags)





by grlpatriot 2008-06-02 12:51PM | 0 recs
Re: Tips

This is a great diary, hits very close to home for me. Rec'd.

by zcflint05 2008-06-02 12:53PM | 0 recs
Been there with our daughter.

I admit to not having done well to begin with, but we're over that and happier now than we have ever been.

by CoyoteCreek 2008-06-02 12:59PM | 0 recs
Re: Been there with our daughter.

Mojo from my mother. People forget how difficult this is on families.

by grlpatriot 2008-06-02 01:07PM | 0 recs
Right back at 'ya!!!

Thanks.  I'm not proud of me then...but it was worth  it to see our daughter happy.

by CoyoteCreek 2008-06-02 04:16PM | 0 recs
Re: Right back at 'ya!!!

Had a friend who's father pretty much disowned him. Wasn't until he got sick that his father started talking to him again. He was so happy that his father came back. He could have been bitter and not wanted to have anything to do with his father but no. You should have heard his voice. Coyote put the past in the past where it belongs. A reminder of why you should love your daughter extra special. How close you came to loosing her.

Be glad that you are able to. That's what's important.

Hugs  to you grlpatriot. You too Coyote.

Thank you for this diary grlpatriot.(((Hugs2U)))

by 12 dogs and a blog 2008-06-03 02:43AM | 0 recs
Re: Tips

This obama supporter thanks you for your heartfelt and moving story.  Recc'd

by GreenHills 2008-06-02 12:54PM | 0 recs
Re: Tips

Likewise.  You got my first mojo rating after I noticed I had it back after being "grounded" for about a week.

Take pride in who you are, and I hope you can join us in making our party's nominee the next President of the United States.

by doschi 2008-06-02 03:25PM | 0 recs
Re: Tips

Me, too.  Thanks for a great diary!  I am hopeful that the next eight years will see tremendous strides for gays and lesbians in American society.  

by deminva 2008-06-02 04:46PM | 0 recs
Re: Tips

I disagree strongly with your choice of candidate, but offer you congratulations and kudos on choosing to live openly as you are.

by nightsweat 2008-06-02 01:07PM | 0 recs
Phantom Tip

My tipper is broke, it's the best I can do... ;-)


by chrisblask 2008-06-02 02:35PM | 0 recs
Re: Tips

I appreciate you sharing your personal story with us, and for keeping your diary uplifting and positive.  Senator Clinton is well-served by support like this.

by BishopRook 2008-06-02 03:17PM | 0 recs
Re: Tips

No, thank you for this diary. I have several gay and lesbian friends. They are some of the bravest people I know. Your story is their story. It is a story we all need to hear and better understand. Tipped and Rec'ed.

by Denizen Kristine 2008-06-02 05:31PM | 0 recs
Re: Tips

Delusional; it's time for you and other Clinton supporters to "come out" for the actual Dem. Nominee, Barack Obama.  Anything less is selfish on your part.  We all have supported losing candidates in the past, and it hurts all the more for having come so close, like Gore in 2000, but the pain goes away.  Obama will be a great president and will renew the Dem. Party.  It is a good thing.  "Come out" now before the pain calcifies and you become jaded beyond repair.

by PittsburghPete 2008-06-02 07:22PM | 0 recs
There's a time and a place

IMO this is neither, PittsburghPete.

by kydoc2 2008-06-03 08:03AM | 0 recs
Re: Tips

And your remarks have to do with this diary...HOW????

by GendraX 2008-06-03 08:31AM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

I accept you for who and what you are.  The stigma forced upon so many of our brothers and sisters is a crime that may never really be erased.  Growing up in South Carolina I saw far too much of it, frankly.

Let's work together to push homophobia even further into the fringes of society.

by Reaper0Bot0 2008-06-02 12:55PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

Call me an optimist but I hope that we have equal civil rights in full swing by 2012 (although yesterday is the right answer)

I also hope we can crush homophobia to the levels we have taken racism and sexism by 2016 (although that should have been yesterday)

I also hope we can give the least tolerated of Americans, those of middle eastern decent some degree of respect in the next four years.

The latest move by Dunkin Donuts proves alot of this is not the case yet.

Please Glppatriot, and all other Clinton supporters, realize that neither Clinton, Obama or any single politican will guarantee you anything.

If you thought Clinton was the #1 for your cause, then take your cause to Obama, the DNC, your state senators etc

This is what our party is about, a convergence of ideas that all run on the same river.

by CrushTheGOP2008 2008-06-02 01:03PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

Thank you for the uprate grlpatriot, it means alot as I find civil rights one of our CORE principles not only as Democrats but as Americans.

Thank you for this diary.

by CrushTheGOP2008 2008-06-02 01:48PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

Your comment deserves mucho mojo but I only had one mojo to give. Here's another.

by grlpatriot 2008-06-02 04:02PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

Hear, hear.  I still remember my utter disgust when Virginia Republicans granted custody to a grandmother whose daughter was a lesbian.  In the 1990's.  Despicable!

We Democrats must continue to lead this charge for full protection and rights.  The good news is that American opinion is changing--and is being led by the generation now coming of age.  Most of them just don't see why they should be outraged, God bless 'em.

by deminva 2008-06-02 04:49PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

I'm a Hillary supporter and my sister is gay, married (but not legally) and they've adopted two wonderful kids!  

Thanks for the great diary!

by searchforsolidarity 2008-06-02 02:17PM | 0 recs
Gay adoption and fostering

Thanks for coming out for Hillary. That's wonderful that they adopted. My partner and I want to have one  and then maybe foster. Most states don't allow LGBT fostering, which is sad because there are so many kids that need loving homes.

by grlpatriot 2008-06-02 04:07PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

I congratulate you for your courage. While I never thought it was an issue on MyDD, I'm also gay.

by zenful6219 2008-06-02 12:56PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

It pleases me that it is NOT an issue here on MYDD.
If ever a place where being one's self should be accepted with open arms...MY DIRECT DEMOCRACY should be it.

I am straight, but, I attended my first PRIDE parade in London a few years back. I have been twice now to the one in LA. I go in support of my cousin, my brother-in-law, several friends and ALL GLBTs. I recommend attending the celebration to anyone who enjoys a spectacular party!!  :)

(your "I'm also gay" made me think of the end of the movie 'In And Out' w/Kevin Kline)  ;)

by Kysen 2008-06-02 01:04PM | 0 recs
The movie 'In And Out' w/Kevin Kline

"I'm also gay (a Hillary supporter)" - yes, the solidarity of standing together.

by grlpatriot 2008-06-02 01:11PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

No, but I felt marginalized enough for supporting Hillary, so I didn't want to make it worse.

by grlpatriot 2008-06-02 01:09PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

You offered a great reason for that support.

by deminva 2008-06-02 04:49PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

Thank you for sharing your story.  

by JustJennifer 2008-06-02 12:56PM | 0 recs
Thank you

inspiring, close to home, and reminds me of why I support Hillary Clinton.  

by 4justice 2008-06-02 12:57PM | 0 recs
beautiful diary.

thanks for sharing....rec'd.

by canadian gal 2008-06-02 01:00PM | 0 recs
She gets it

Hillary Clinton has a COMPASSION and an EMPATHY which cannot be learned. It is a natural gift which has grown and matured and thrived. She has the ability to listen and respect and learn from everyone she meets.

She truly is someone who LIVES the notion of "learn something new everyday". She is a sponge, a listener, a gatherer of information. The more she interacts with people, the stronger and wiser she becomes.

She gets it. She sees the larger truth, the bigger picture.

Thanks grlpatriot for sharing how she speaks for you. She speaks for me too... different reasons, but with the same exact resonance. Recommend.

by twinmom 2008-06-02 01:07PM | 0 recs
Hillary gets it

Yes, she does.

by grlpatriot 2008-06-02 01:16PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

Great Diary!!!

by nikkid 2008-06-02 01:13PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

Beautiful diary.....  your words are inspiring and heartfelt.  I hope as we go forward we can all look out for one another, all try to do random acts of kindness and have compassion for one another.  

by GendraX 2008-06-02 01:29PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

Thank you, I hope for that too.

by grlpatriot 2008-06-02 01:44PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton


by Steve M 2008-06-02 01:30PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

Cute boys. If I were I man, I'd be gay.

by grlpatriot 2008-06-02 01:42PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

Hehe, that's the spirit.  I really enjoyed your diary.  I grew up in the Reagan/Bush era where gay Americans were about as invisible as could be.  I was fortunate in that my family had several gay friends while I was growing up (sadly, I don't think any of them are with us any longer thanks to AIDS) and I was raised to understand that we're all just people.

In fact, that reminds me of a story.  Back when I was in school, my roommate came out to me after we'd been living together for 2 years (most of which he'd spend dating girls, as it happens).  I now know it's a tough thing to do and I probably should have been warm and supporting but honestly, my reaction was just complete indifference.  I'd been raised to believe so thoroughly that it makes no difference if you're gay or straight, it was truly a fact that seemed irrelevant to me!  Funny to think about.

by Steve M 2008-06-02 02:46PM | 0 recs
I'm grinning. :D

"Cute boys. If I were I man, I'd be gay."

This reminds me of when my younger daughter, then about 9, discovered 'Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.' She watched it about 5 times in a row, then declared, "You know, if I'd been born a boy, I'd be a drag queen."

by LoosCanN 2008-06-02 03:57PM | 0 recs
Re: I'm grinning. :D

LOL. I totally get it. Too funny. Thanks for sharing that.

by grlpatriot 2008-06-02 04:12PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

Perhaps I'm actually a lesbian.  I'm really attracted to women.

by deminva 2008-06-02 04:50PM | 0 recs
Actual lesbian

Are you trying to say that I'm not? Wow. Thanks for stopping by sister.

by grlpatriot 2008-06-02 07:22PM | 0 recs
Re: Actual lesbian

Channeling Austin Powers:

I'm a man, baby!

by deminva 2008-06-02 08:06PM | 0 recs
Re: Actual lesbian

LOL, sorry, I thought you were a bitchy lesbian. But if you like, I'll make you an honorary lesbian.

by grlpatriot 2008-06-02 09:10PM | 0 recs
Re: Actual lesbian

Oh, don't get the straight guys started.  We're all honorary lesbians!



by chrisblask 2008-06-02 10:09PM | 0 recs
I want one of those shirts.

by linc 2008-06-02 01:44PM | 0 recs
So Steve,,

don't leave us hanging....which one are you?

by JoeCoaster 2008-06-02 02:06PM | 0 recs
Re: So Steve,,

I'm the good-looking one, of course.

by Steve M 2008-06-02 02:16PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

great diary, rec'd

steve m, love that pic!

by colebiancardi 2008-06-02 01:42PM | 0 recs
I am out there with you

Hillary has also always been right there for our community.  This little gay boy from the backwoods of Montucky couldn't be prouder of you or Hillary.  Both of the Clintons have always been there for this community and have always pushed back for us.  Great diary.

by linc 2008-06-02 01:43PM | 0 recs
Re: I am out there with you

Thanks for "coming out" for Hillary, linc. The Clintons have always stood by us and Hillary will keep fighting for our equal rights.

by grlpatriot 2008-06-02 01:49PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

Til the last dog dies.

by handsomegent 2008-06-02 01:46PM | 0 recs

Because I am glad to meet someone else who viewed the Dont Ask Dont Tell as a step in the right direction.

And because I liked reading your very personal story =)

Too bad you made it to the rec list without my vote, however =)

by SevenStrings 2008-06-02 01:48PM | 0 recs
Baby steps

Thanks. Yes, Don't Ask Don't Tell was a step in the right direction. The most significant event was a presidential candidate and eventual president talking about lesbian and gay rights in a positive way. As an American community, we have to take baby steps together. My partner (of 10 yrs) and I have had a civil union for 8 years now. Even though only a few states recognize it, I feel certain that within the next 10-15 years, we will be able to share in marriage equality. It makes me happy to know that.

by grlpatriot 2008-06-02 01:59PM | 0 recs
Re: Baby steps

I agree with that.

I was disappointed at the time, but there was no way the Right Thing was going to be done.

President Clinton put the wedge in the door, and it cannot ever be closed again.

We are still something of a laughing stock among our allies.  The gay soldiers in Isreal, Canada and France stand among the most feared forces on the planet (I have to put Canada in there.  More than happy to pick on my on-again off-again host country, but their soldiers are scary, effective mofos...).

It is time to end DADT.  The next president will.


by chrisblask 2008-06-02 04:10PM | 0 recs
Re: Baby steps

For those of us who remember the ugly years of Reagon and Bush I, we appreciate the Clintons' heroic pushing back against the right-wing hegemony.   The Don't Ask Don't Tell policy was a step in the right direction because it brought the matter of LGBT civil rights squarely onto the national stage--and also because change sometimes comes incrementally.  

But, as many of us recall, the backlash against the Clintons was twofold at the time:  First, from the right for even bringing up the matter of gays in the military, and second from the left who thought the policy didn't go far enough.

Unfortunately, the demonization and backlash against the Clintons continues within the Dem Party.  Winning back the White House from the Republican stronghold and ushering in an era of prosperity and peace by the two-term Clinton presidency is viewed by many in the Dem party--starting with Obama--as historically insignificant. Unlike the Republicans, it is shameful that we cannibalize our very own.      

by trixta 2008-06-02 06:39PM | 0 recs
Re: Baby steps

Unfortunately, the demonization and backlash against the Clintons continues within the Dem Party.  Winning back the White House from the Republican stronghold and ushering in an era of prosperity and peace by the two-term Clinton presidency is viewed by many in the Dem party--starting with Obama--as historically insignificant. Unlike the Republicans, it is shameful that we cannibalize our very own.

You had me in agreement until that part.

Bill Clinton being good in the 1990s does not translate into Hillary Clinton being right for 2008.  Two reasons at the simplest level:

1/  The are two different people.  To say otherwise would be at the best simplistic and at the worst, frankly, sexist.  Donna and I are a team, but hiring the other one of us for the same job because you like the first one is asnine: we are dramatically different people (thank god - the idea of living with someone like me... ugh).  Personally I think Bill Clinton did a great job and I am not overly enamored with Hillary in the same seat.  They could swap genders outright and it would have no effect on my opinion whatsoever, they are just individuals with entirely different attributes.

2/  Family dynasties are distasteful.  Two Bushes, two Clintons...  We have a broader pool of potential hires in this country than the family members of former employees, no matter how good the last person was.  It is at the very least continuously difficult to explain to my foreign friends that we actually are a free and pragmatic country when we only hire Presidents from a select set of families, and more importantly it is disengenuous to say so if it is not true...

One of the wonderful things about America is that we overall do not idolize people.  "That's nice you were all that then, what are your plans now?"  This is in stark contrast to countries as similar as Canada, much less most cultures further afield.  I cannot tell you how often my Canadian friends and business colleagues drop names and work historical threads as I have quietly (or often enough not) thought "just shoot me.  this has nothing to do with the task at hand."

Having experienced other ways of operating, I have relished the chance to be back in the States where people don't care who you know or what you have done - unless the latter applies to what needs doing now.



by chrisblask 2008-06-02 07:48PM | 0 recs
Gay men love Hillary

She's a diva to us all.

by Sieglinde 2008-06-02 01:53PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

Great diary.  This Obama supporter salutes you, and looks forward to continuing the fight for equality for ALL.

by ihaveseenenough 2008-06-02 01:54PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

I am also gay, but believe the Clinton's threw us under the bus with DADT.

by venician 2008-06-02 02:09PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

Can I ask how old you were in 91-93? Were you old enough to understand how history making Bill's position was? I'm not trying to be confrontation. Just trying to understand how anyone can criticize the Clintons on their LGBT record. Yes, Don't Ask Don't Tell was a compromise, but IMHO I don't feel like he threw the LGBT community under the bus. It may seem like that now, but not at the time.

by grlpatriot 2008-06-02 02:22PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

Old enough to know that we were being used for our votes and got nothing in return.

by venician 2008-06-02 02:29PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

Damnit, Im not old enough and nor am I gay, but I tried writing three different responses to both of you in agreement, but each time I write I see I just don't know this issue.

Did Clinton do the best for gays, no.  Did he do the best he could being that probably the whole GOP base still that HIV was a gay disease?

Could Clinton have gotten away with doing NOTHING at all?

In my opinion OF COURSE, but he didn't

Take this positive away, Bill forced the government into a position of admitting to descrimination.

Therefore the case against the military on this issue has already been built.

I don't know Bill was right or not, but when he have Nurses kicked out of Iraq and the military for being gay, the SAME nurse who spent tours saving American and Iraqi lives is sent home then we have to know we have a huge albeit embaressing problem for America.

by CrushTheGOP2008 2008-06-02 02:47PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

And we suffer to this day with Bills triangulation style of governing. Many gay linguists have recently  left the military at a time when the military is desperate for soldiers who can speak another language.  

by venician 2008-06-02 03:01PM | 0 recs
First national gay/lesbian rights discussion

So, you don't think that elevating gay and lesbian rights to the national political discussion during the 1991-2 presidential campaign was ground breaking? Bill put is neck out their for us. Bill wanted to end discrimination in the military, but could only get the compromise policy of DADT. Yes, we need to end the policy. It is also almost 20 years later. The climate is better for ending it. Hillary has said she will.

by grlpatriot 2008-06-02 04:27PM | 0 recs
Re: First national gay/lesbian rights discussion

Sorry, but I no longer believe anythin the clintons say. And it is very upsetting that 20 years later, we are no better off in the military then we were before. Funny how Bill's neck is still fine, but gays in the military are NOT.

by venician 2008-06-02 04:33PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

Two questions:

1.  How did Bill Clinton's "triangulation" cause LGBT to suffer?  Be specific.

2.  How is Bill Clinton responsible for gay linguists leaving the military AFTER he left office?

by psychodrew 2008-06-02 04:38PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

I understand where you're coming from, but I don't think you're being quite fair.  I was in the Army when Clinton got elected.  There was so much anti-gay sentiment when the gay issue came up, there was NO WAY for anything to get done more than what Clinton did.

It isn't really fair to judge Clinton's record on the issue as being poor simply because he didn't go far enough.  As someone on this blog said before, the perfect should never be the enemy of the good.  DADT is not a perfect policy (not by any stretch).  But it was a step in the right direction that Clinton did not have to take.  He deserves some credit.

by slynch 2008-06-02 04:55PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

Amazing!  But triangulation--i.e. centrist politics-- was the only way we not only won back the WH, but were able to govern in that awful right-wing, "moral majority" climate.  

Unlike Obama, Clinton didn't have a magic wand to change Washington--but he sure accomplished a hell of a lot through courage, intellect, and political savy!  

by trixta 2008-06-02 06:50PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

Are you old enough to remember the GOP National Convention from 1992?  I certainly do.  They let the right wing loonies take over.  I will never forget the signs and chanting:  "Gay rights never.  Family rights forever."

Watch this clip.  The idea that Bill Clinton embraced gay rights for our votes is ridiculous.  Any LGBT who watched that convention and still supported Bush has serious self-esteem issues.

by psychodrew 2008-06-02 04:32PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

I disagree.  The Republicans forced the issue on Clinton very early in his administration, and I thought he helped move the armed forces and American society forward.

by deminva 2008-06-02 04:52PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

I was young, but even then I knew it was a step, small and imperfect but still not easy, step in the right direction.  I'm not a Clinton supporter, but even now you have to give Bill the benefit of the doubt here.  Imagine if Republicans had been in power for those 8!

by ihaveseenenough 2008-06-02 07:28PM | 0 recs
This is a very moving diary

I congratulate you and salute your courage and also wish you all the happiness in the world as you embark on this new journey and phase of your life.

It really does not matter whom i support as your courage and your honest support for Senator Clinton is an example that we all should follow.

by likelihood zero 2008-06-02 02:01PM | 0 recs
Great diary, great story.

Thank you for sharing this with all of us.

by catfish2 2008-06-02 02:05PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

Thank you for your diary from this straight woman with many, many lesbian friends.

And I think you'll feel comfortable with these ideas:

"    I'm running for President to build an America that lives up to our founding promise of equality for all - a promise that extends to our gay brothers and sisters. It's wrong to have millions of Americans living as second-class citizens in this nation. And I ask for your support in this election so that together we can bring about real change for all LGBT Americans. Equality is a moral imperative. That's why throughout my career, I have fought to eliminate discrimination against LGBTAmericans. In Illinois, I co-sponsored a fully inclusive bill that prohibited discrimination on the basis of both sexual orientation and gender identity, extending protection to the workplace, housing, and places of public accommodation.

   In the U.S. Senate, I have co-sponsored bills that would equalize tax treatment for same-sex couples and provide benefits to domestic partners of federal employees. And as president, I will place the weight of my administration behind the enactment of the Matthew Shepard Act to outlaw hate crimes and a fully inclusive Employment Non-Discrimination Act to outlaw workplace discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity. As your President, I will use the bully pulpit to urge states to treat same-sex couples with full equality in their family and adoption laws. I personally believe that civil unions represent the best way to secure that equal treatment. But I also believe that the federal government should not stand in the way of states that want to decide on their own how best to pursue equality for gay and lesbian couples -- whether that means a domestic partnership, a civil union, or a civil marriage.

   I support the complete repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) - a position I have held since before arriving in the U.S. Senate. While some say we should repeal only part of the law, I believe we should get rid of that statute altogether. Federal law should not discriminate in any way against gay and lesbian couples, which is precisely what DOMA does. I have also called for us to repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell, and I have worked to improve the Uniting American Families Act so we can afford same-sex couples the same rights and obligations as married couples in our immigration system. The next president must also address the HIV/AIDS epidemic. When it comes to prevention, we do not have to choose between values and science. While abstinence education should be part of any strategy, we also need to use common sense. We should have age-appropriate sex education that includes information about contraception. We should pass the JUSTICE Act to combat infection within our prison population. And we should lift the federal ban on needle exchange, which could dramatically reduce rates of infection among drug users. In addition, local governments can protect public health by distributing contraceptives.

   We also need a president who's willing to confront the stigma - too often tied to homophobia - that continues to surround HIV/AIDS. I confronted this stigma directly in a speech to evangelicals at Rick Warren's Saddleback Church, and will continue to speak out as president. That is where I stand on the major issues of the day. But having the right positions on the issues is only half the battle. The other half is to win broad support for those positions. And winning broad support will require stepping outside our comfort zone. If we want to repeal DOMA, repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell, and implement fully inclusive laws outlawing hate crimes and discrimination in the workplace, we need to bring the message of LGBT equality to skeptical audiences as well as friendly ones - and that's what I've done throughout my career. I brought this message of inclusiveness to all of America in my keynote address at the 2004 Democratic convention.

   I talked about the need to fight homophobia when I announced my candidacy for President, and I have been talking about LGBT equality to a number of groups during this campaign - from local LGBT activists to rural farmers to parishioners at Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta, where Dr. Martin Luther King once preached. Just as important, I have been listening to what all Americans have to say. I will never compromise on my commitment to equal rights for all LGBTAmericans. But neither will I close my ears to the voices of those who still need to be convinced. That is the work we must do to move forward together. It is difficult. It is challenging. And it is necessary. Americans are yearning for leadership that can empower us to reach for what we know is possible. I believe that we can achieve the goal of full equality for the millions of LGBT people in this country. To do that, we need leadership that can appeal to the best parts of the human spirit. Join with me, and I will provide that leadership. Together, we will achieve real equality for all Americans, gay and straight alike." e_daily_dish/2008/02/obamas-open-let.htm l

by politicsmatters 2008-06-02 02:05PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

Thanks for posting this, PM. I can certainly understand the attachment of the GLBT community to Hillary Clinton, but I'm hopeful that people will learn more about Obama's position on GLBT-related issues.

by minnesotaryan 2008-06-02 04:39PM | 0 recs
Inviting gay haterst to warm up your crowds

and declining to change plans or denounce the hater and hatred said more to anybody watching than a pretty speech, Senator Obama!  As usual...

by itsadryheat 2008-06-02 08:08PM | 0 recs
hear, hear...

while all my gay friends support barack (and some are even convention delegates of his), i still applaud your devotion and commitment.  we are in this together...

by bored now 2008-06-02 02:06PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

I'm with Hillary all the way.


by adrienne4dean 2008-06-02 02:09PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

Nice post. The huge progress in gay rights stands next to the progress in civil rights and women's rights as evidence of what liberal activism can achieve.

Now that its over, i've stopped feeling sadness that Hillary lost and started to feel pride that she ran and that now a woman enters the history books as the candidate who won more votes than any other candidate in history in the primaries.

by liberalj 2008-06-02 02:14PM | 0 recs
Put the funeral on hold

Thanks, but I'll pass on the sad part. This race isn't over. There is more history for Hillary to write in that book.

by grlpatriot 2008-06-02 04:34PM | 0 recs
Re: Thanks for Your Courage

Here's a big hug from a proud mom of a gay man and "co-mom" of his partner. They are both huge supporters of Hillary as is my daughter. I agree with everything you said.

Live your life and don't let the mean people wear you down.

by VegMom 2008-06-02 02:17PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

And Obama refused to have his picture taken with the gay rights mayor of SF, Gavin Newsom, which again shows his shallowness and indifference to gay voters.  If nominated, I hope his defeat is huge.  A signal to all those who preferred the blinders regarding such an inexperienced, unqualified candidate.  He has thrown just about everybody off the bus for political gain.  What makes anyone think he will stand up for you?  So far there is little evidence to support that supposition.  The man is an empty suit.

by Pat J 2008-06-02 02:17PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

So you think McCain is better on equality issues?  

by politicsmatters 2008-06-02 02:23PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

What makes you think this poster is voting for McCain? I don't know if he is or not (and am not intending to speak for him/her), but a dislike for Obama does not = casting a vote for McCain in November. For me I have 2 choices in November; to either stay home or choke on it & vote for Obama (& pray I am wrong). Not sure if I can bring myself to choke on it, but we will see. If I can't, it will be the first election I have ever abstained from voting in.

by jrsygrl 2008-06-02 02:44PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

Thank you for ruining a heartfelt, positive diary with your trashy, bitter-ender comment.

by MJJLWolf 2008-06-02 02:29PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

I think that Obama safely supports LGBT rights about as much as most Dem politicians do. Obama and Hillary are graded the same by the Human Rights Campaign on LGBT issues. However, Hillary (and Bill) have gone farther and taken more national heat on behalf of the LGBT community than any other presidential candidates/presidents ever have. Like Kathy Griffith would say, Hillary is a friend to the gays.

by grlpatriot 2008-06-02 02:45PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

Why take a piss in this great diary?

by deminva 2008-06-02 04:53PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

when I was pregnant, in 1973, I had insurance but it didn't cover maternity, because maternity isn't a disease, and it's something that can be avoided. I made 1.27 an hour, and I had to pay out of pocket to have maternity care.  Luckily for me I lived near a university hospital, and could pay $350.00 which covered the whole thing. I had to drive many miles, but I could pay for it.  That was the first year that abortion was legal, if you had a psychiatrist that said you had a mental health need. I didn't want one, but I had that option as long as I was willing to submit to a psychological assessment, and then pay for it.  I got no sick leave for my delivery and I could no go back to work, because I didn't earn enough to pay for day care.

When I gave up a job in 1993, I had COBRA, thanks to Bill Clinton.  I had pre-existing conditions (cancer) and had to sweat it out to see if I could get insurance after the 18-month limit was up.

I'll stand by Hillary and I'll continue to be offended by those who tell me to give up my dream right now, since i didn't do it when it would have helped Barack, five months ago.  These calls for unity are insulting and counter-productive. Hillary will be stand up, she always is, but they pundits are putting it all on her. If Barack is a unity guy he'll request a unity ticket, the one 70 percent of Democrats want. If he cites her baggage and says she'll be a drag on his ticket, he won't unity squat.  

by anna shane 2008-06-02 02:18PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

Thanks for coming to stand by Hillary. I'm with Hillary all the way.

by grlpatriot 2008-06-02 02:26PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton
A small factual correction: Bill Clinton did not start COBRA. It dates back to 1986 and, of course, he was elected in 1992. .html
by politicsmatters 2008-06-02 02:38PM | 0 recs
COBRA - OBRA confusion

You are correct about COBRA, but I think she may have been referring to a portion of OBRA which Bill did enact that dealt with health care.

by grlpatriot 2008-06-02 04:49PM | 0 recs
Congrats, grlpatriot. I came out

to my friends and family back in 1975 while I was in the Marine Corps - of course only my best friends in the Corps knew. I have never regretted it for a moment. I actually can't imagine, speaking for myself, living any other way than honestly and openly. Coming out is the single most important thing that gay men and women can do to further the cause of equal rights for GLBT persons. It is this simple act, letting the world know that we are everywhere - sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, Moms, Dads, firemen, doctors, teachers, lawyers, factory workers, on and on and on - that not only furthers the cause of equality, but frees us to live our lives fully and honestly. That is priceless....

by Rumarhazzit 2008-06-02 02:19PM | 0 recs
Good on ya!

Kudos for your bravery and your honesty.

I feel your struggle, I sympathize and I empathize.

While I do not know your struggle directly, I know a lot about it.  Being the Small Smart Thoughtful Quiet Boy in school in the 70s I give you one guess what the common label given to me by the bullies who beat me up was.  Three letters and it starts with F...

I did not even know what it meant, but I knew that it was enough to get the whole school laughing at me, and there was not anyone I could even ask for a definition.

The sort of pressure you feel prior to posting your diary is something I am very familiar with.  I thank the bullies of my youth for pushing me to the edge early and often, because as I result I am almost genetically unable to avoid confronting those who would apply such pressure ever again, even for a moment.

That is one of the things that also leads me to be such a cranky jerk sometimes... ;-)

I may still not agree with you on many things, but you have my highest regard at this moment.

Good on you, again.  Never let the bullies win.



by chrisblask 2008-06-02 02:24PM | 0 recs
Never let the bullies win

Thanks for your words and sharing your story. I appreciate your understanding. You probably understand the struggle more than you know.

by grlpatriot 2008-06-02 02:33PM | 0 recs
Thank you

I really appreciate the diary.

I also share your feelings.  I read the statement you linked from Hillary's website, and was reminded of the journey that you eloquently reflect on in your piece.  Out of curiosity, and in an effort to try to achieve some basic comfort with Barack Obama, I decided to visit his website and see what his statement on Gay Pride was.

I was disappointed - rather than articulate a position, as Hillary did, he simply told Gay people that they should start organizing and hold events for him.  It was more nakedly self-serving than I expected from a polished politician like him.

by bobbank 2008-06-02 02:32PM | 0 recs
Re: Thank you

gee bob, typical comment from you.

by venician 2008-06-02 02:39PM | 0 recs
Re: Thank you

I'll assume that, by typical, you mean, courteous, complimentary to the diarist, and expressing candid observation of fact?

Here is the link I read: /post/HQblog/gGB4RV

Now I didn't read any e-mails Obama's campaign may have sent out privately.  I simply read what they had to say publicly on their website about Gay Pride month.

And what they had to say was:

In the coming weeks, members of the LGBT community will be hosting events all across the country to express their support for Senator Obama

That's remarkably arrogant and selfish.  Gay Pride is about us.  Not the Junior Senator, or any other politician for that matter.

By contrast, this is what Hillary had to say:

To each and every LGBT American, I say this: You have done so much to help this country understand your lives by simply being open and honest about who you are and living your lives with dignity.   Thank you for your courage.

That is probably the strongest statement I have ever heard a national politician make on my behalf, to be honest.  That resonates with me and has meaning to me in a way that "please campaign for Barack Obama" never can.

If you're angry with me for pointing out that distinction, I understand.  But take it easy with trolling me - I occassionally push back.

by bobbank 2008-06-02 02:53PM | 0 recs
Re: Thank you

I've posted Obama's open letter to the gay community above.  Please give it a read.

by politicsmatters 2008-06-02 02:43PM | 0 recs
Re: Thank you

It's a nice letter.  I find it curious that he doesn't feel comfortable stating this on his website.  As I said, Gay Pride is about us.  Not him.  I find it distasteful that his official statement on Gay Pride was an advertisement telling gays to campaign harder for him.

Also, on a specific policy point, I think his statements about DoMA indicate a certain lack of political maturity on his part.  He doesn't seem to understand why Clinton supported DoMA in the first place, and why, particularly today, it would be inherently dangerous to the gay community if it were repealed.

by bobbank 2008-06-02 05:09PM | 0 recs
Re: Thank you

It wouldn't be dangerous to repeal DOMA. It would be the right thing to do.  One of the arguments for passing it was to head off a constitutional amendment defining marriage, which in 2008 has zero chance of passing.

by politicsmatters 2008-06-02 05:58PM | 0 recs
Re: Thank you

I guess there is a legitimate debate to be had about that.  My personal feeling is that DoMA provides cover so that this issue can be worked at the state level (where it has the best chance of succeeding and where it constitutionally ought to be worked).  It provides cover because more conservative states and constituencies do not need to feel as threatened by it.

MA was a light in the forest and the state of affairs in CA is precarious at best.  Recent moves in NY are encouraging.  But it is still very fragile.

My point is that progress is being made within the DoMA regime.  I understand your point about a constitutional amendment being virtually unpassable in the short-term.  But we don't know what 2010 will bring.  I would rather we continue progress than risk exposure to a greater threat.

by bobbank 2008-06-02 07:45PM | 0 recs
This diary

I'm very Pro Clinton but this diary is way too negative.  I prefer seeing positive diaries like those of Alegre and Jerome.

There's a whole of me that really wants to say that this is an outstanding diary and it should be recommended because of its positivity and passion regardless of whether one is an Obama or Clinton supporter but then there's that part of me, the Hillsmygirl part, that just can't do it.

by HillsMyGirl 2008-06-02 02:41PM | 0 recs
Re: This diary


by bobbank 2008-06-02 02:56PM | 0 recs
Re: This diary

This is a parody troll. Look at the poster's history if you need confirmation.

by GreenHills 2008-06-02 03:04PM | 0 recs
Re: This diary

in other words a creepy Obamabot (as opposed to a supporter) with no self-control, morals or anything else going on in it's life so it imitates a McTroll for "fun"

by zerosumgame 2008-06-02 04:45PM | 0 recs
Re: This diary

so now we see who's sock-puppet is is by the TR :)

by zerosumgame 2008-06-02 05:12PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton
Thanks for Diary, I am standing right with you with our great leader Hillary Clinton.
I sent money to her, called for her campaign, bloging for her.
I convinced a lot of people in OH, TX, PA, WV, KY, SD, NH and some other places to vote for her.
And I will continue to do so.
I hope she will win in 2008.
If not, I am convinced that Obama will lose in 2008 and she will run again in 2012 and I will support her again!
Thank you again, comrade!
by engels 2008-06-02 02:44PM | 0 recs
You just had to throw in that stink bomb

into this positive diary, eh engles?

I am convinced that Obama will lose in 2008 and she will run again in 2012 and I will support her again!

You just confirmed the worst suspicions of the harshest Clinton critic.  You are more than convinced Obama will lose, you will help him lose.

Good for you.  Go McCain!  All the way until my children grow up and leave home!! 50,000,000 childhoods sacrificed to your personal bitter throne, engless!!

A million phantom TRs for ruining patriotgrls moment, for being a bloody GOP troll and a selfish asshole.

Burn in hell.


by chrisblask 2008-06-02 03:54PM | 0 recs
Hide rated by Scotch

I'm honored.

by chrisblask 2008-06-02 09:58PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

Your story is not only beautiful & poignant, but an inspiration and a reminder that not all patriot struggles happen in battle, nor often in the company of allies.

Stories like yours should be celebrated in our school text books, along with others who fought their own lonely battle to make this country better than the one they inherited.

by catilinus 2008-06-02 02:45PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

Wow, I teared up. Thanks. I never really thought of it that way, but as a patriot and someone who loves this country warts and all, at some point we all have to make a stand. And sometimes, we are presented with those moments more than once in a life time.

by grlpatriot 2008-06-02 02:51PM | 0 recs
You should think about it that way

It takes courage twice to speak out.

Once, to "admit" your own painful story.

Again, to share it so others can benefit themselves.

I did not post that diary on MyBO that I linked in my first comment easily.  It's both a bit embarassing to talk about the sad parts of my life, and doubly to do so in public and risk being ridiculed as some brand of pompous ass looking for sympathy or a pat on the back.

But it is necessary.  More for others than for you or I.

Folks need to know they are not the only ones feeling a given type of suffering.  And they need to know it's OK to be brave.

Bravery has become a dirty word, when it should be recognized as the height of human achievement.

We tell our stories not to be seen as brave, but so others can be brave themselves.

That is how we make Progress.

That is how we can be Progressives.



(PS - I'm still likely to beat you up in other diaries... ;~)

by chrisblask 2008-06-02 09:55PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

cool diary. Don't really agree with making someone a savior for such a personal issue, (I'd never entrust Obama--or Hillary--with my gay happiness, for example), but nice writeup and as a Californian, I'm so excited by what we got going on here. Hoping it can help lead the debate in a constructive way.

by Metrobot 2008-06-02 02:53PM | 0 recs
My first comment and first tip

Because I too have to come out of the closet in support of Hillary.  I cannot support Obama

Thank you Girl Patriot who is a patriot.

by Dors Venabili 2008-06-02 02:56PM | 0 recs
Re: My first comment and first tip

Thanks for coming out in support of Hillary. :)

by grlpatriot 2008-06-02 03:30PM | 0 recs
Welcome to MyDD

Don't let the droids get you down.

by NewHampster 2008-06-02 07:17PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton
Great.  Congrats.
Hope you join Clinton in supporting Obama.
by jv 2008-06-02 03:09PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

So, how did DOMA work out for you, then?

by thereisnospoon 2008-06-02 03:40PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

Fine. Society and the gov't needed (and still does apparently) to move in baby steps on LGBT rights.

by grlpatriot 2008-06-02 04:56PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

Granted.  And kudos to you on coming out, btw.

DADT was a baby step forward in a way.  But DOMA was a huge step backward--and a completely unnecessary one that could and should have been vetoed.

I don't understand how LGBT Clinton supporters can just paper over DOMA and pretend it doesn't exist.

by thereisnospoon 2008-06-02 10:12PM | 0 recs
That was really a bit unnecessary,

wasn't it?  And to think that, prior to my leaving dKos a few months ago, I generally admired your opinions.

by aggieric 2008-06-02 05:51PM | 0 recs
Re: That was really a bit unnecessary,

if you ever admired them, you would have known that I'm diametrically opposed to the sorts of DLC quivering that brought about legislation like DOMA.  I continue to be amazed and appalled that the Clintons continue to find so much support in the LGBT community.

by thereisnospoon 2008-06-02 10:10PM | 0 recs
Re: That was really a bit unnecessary,

Did you ever think that maybe you are just wrong-headed and short sighted in your thinking?

by grlpatriot 2008-06-03 06:24AM | 0 recs
Re: That was really a bit unnecessary,

that's a contentless reply.  Why was DOMA acceptable to you, and why do you consider it a necessary baby step forward rather than a huge step backward?

And why are you so ready to forgive the Clintons for the unnecessary gesture?

by thereisnospoon 2008-06-03 02:56PM | 0 recs
I wasn't sure how Snark this was

but I'd TR you if I could.

Snark (or worse) in a diary like this is diametrically opposed to the entire Obama campaign.  Worse, it is opposed to every reason I spend my time working to help us all.

Don't be a troll. It's unbecoming.


by chrisblask 2008-06-02 09:46PM | 0 recs
Re: I wasn't sure how Snark this was

it's not snark.  I continue to be amazed at the LGBT support for Clinton.  DOMA is one of my top ten most horrible pieces of legislation during the Clinton era that epitomizes what I find distasteful about DLC politics.  It was a lot worse than DADT.

I really, really, don't get it.

by thereisnospoon 2008-06-02 10:08PM | 0 recs
Re: I wasn't sure how Snark this was

Understood, but I don't think this diary is the time or place to throw that goad out.

grlpatriot wrote a touching piece that deserves respect for what it is.  It was not about the policies of Bill Clinton as such, it was about her personal experience.  I (perhaps overly) flamed engels for being a partisan fart in this diary, in your own way you also brought too much politics into a discussion that could have lived without it.

I know it is hard not to pull the trigger (in retrospect I could have saved a lenthy reply to another point above as well), but there are times and there are times...



by chrisblask 2008-06-02 11:54PM | 0 recs
Out of context

DOMA was certainly better than a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage which absolutely had the support back then. Maybe you should read up on the history around the issue a little more. Or, maybe LGBT issues is your only platform. If thats the case, you'll won't be happy with Obama or any of the LGBT policies for quite some time. I posted this link in my diary, but here is just a bit of background.

Gay marriage rose to the political forefront in 1996 when several gay couples from Hawaii sued for the right to legally marry. The anti-gay conservative responded to the growing issue of gay marriage.


* The Federal Defense of Marriage Act does not prohibit gay marriage, so states such as Massachusetts are free to issue marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples. Now, we have CA and NY joining the fold.
* Married gay and lesbian couples are given the 1,049 marriage benefits also granted to heterosexual couples in states that legalize gay marriage.


* The federal government does not recognize gay marriages, which means gay and lesbian partners of federal employees do not receive federal health insurance, Social Security or any of the other benefits given to the spouses of heterosexual employees.
* The Federal Defense of Marriage Act does not require states to recognize gay marriages, allowing individual states to ban same-sex marriage.

It was a compromise at the time. Yes, it needs to change. But 20 years ago, this laid the ground work for states to allow gay marriage.

by grlpatriot 2008-06-03 06:22AM | 0 recs
Re: Out of context

fair enough.  But I would have definitely challenged, even dared the GOP to amend the federal constitution.  No way in hell it would have passed, even back then.

by thereisnospoon 2008-06-03 02:59PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton

As a hetero guy and Hillary supporter, kudos on a great diary! All people should feel free to be who they are.

Grlpatriot, thanks for being who you are. I've always enjoyed reading your comments and have always been grateful Hillary has such wonderful supporters who represent the best of the Democratic party.

by Nobama 2008-06-02 03:53PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton (updated)

A beautiful story.

I grew up in WV and unfortunately, I was unable to pass.  I was in high school was Bill Clinton was elected and made ending the ban on gays in the military one of his first initiatives.  He was the first president to really embrace the LGBT community.

Great diary!

by psychodrew 2008-06-02 04:13PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton (updated)

Outstanding Diary.

Thank you

by Lefty Coaster 2008-06-02 04:45PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton (updated)

So you had a good candidate.  One who could have easily won in the general, you know, with a little support.

You decided to run against her because you thought she couldn't win.  Oh, I heard the comments out here in meat space: "The southerners won't vote for her!" She can't win.

Then she proved she could win in the South.  She proved she wasn't a "good" candidate, she's a freakin' GREAT candidate.  But now you're all dug in, you can't even see election results as facts.  Instead you insult the very people you used to care about.  

McCain is noticing something Democrats should have noticed months ago.  Are they playing us?  No.  They can't believe their luck.  

Neither can I.

by bellarose 2008-06-02 04:51PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton (updated)

Did you post to the wrong diary or something?

by deminva 2008-06-02 04:58PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton (updated)

Sorry, my post wasn't directed at the diarist.  

I'm just stunned at where we've ended up.

by bellarose 2008-06-02 04:55PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton (updated)

I figured it wasn't :)

by grlpatriot 2008-06-02 04:58PM | 0 recs
Just Attended My Brother's Marriage
He had only been with his partner for 34 years!
One of the proudest days of my life. I am a father of 5. The Clintons have always been friends of the Gay and Lesbian community. That is one of the many reasons she gets my undying support.
by hypopg 2008-06-02 04:56PM | 0 recs
Re: Just Attended My Brother's Marriage

Wow! Congrats to your brother and his partner. Thanks for sharing. I bet that was a wonderful day. I cannot tell how much my civil union means to me and my partner. After civil unions became legal in Vermont in July 2000, we went that September to have a ceremony. Even though our union doesn't mean anything in Florida, it still means something to us and matters that it is valid in a few other states that have civil unions and gay marriage.

by grlpatriot 2008-06-02 05:06PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton (updated)

This is a beautiful diary.  I'm so sorry I hijacked it with my rant.


by bellarose 2008-06-02 04:58PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton (updated)


I haven't been around here much lately, but I wanted to come today to recommend your diary and to congratulate you on coming out for yourself and for Hillary Clinton!

Continue to be proud and brave!

by cjbardy 2008-06-02 05:01PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton (updated)

Obama will be on your side too.

by Democrat in Chicago 2008-06-02 05:03PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton (updated)

Great courage -- great story. When it comes time, give Obama a chance. I think you'll find he'll work hard for LGBT rights.

by lindsay 2008-06-02 05:12PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton (updated)

Beautiful diary, grlpatriot.  I've always enjoyed your commentary here.

by Caldonia 2008-06-02 05:22PM | 0 recs
Thank you.

I deeply appreciate your sharing your story, and offering us your perspective. Your diary has done more to balance my head and my heart than anything I've read all primary season. What was happening on the national level was, perhaps egocentrically, the last thing on my mind during my own coming out ten years ago, during my transition from female to man. I was struggling too hard to keep my family together.

But I can certainly appreciate now, living as a gay man with my husband/partner of 21 years and our two daughters, the Clintons' courage in making the fight for equal rights for LGBT folk part of the national political dialog.

Best wishes, and I'm sure Hillary Clinton would be honored to know she has your support.


by LoosCanN 2008-06-02 05:31PM | 0 recs
Re: Thank you.

LoosCanN, thank you for coming out and sharing your story. Gender identity is probably the least understood and most difficult struggle. It is very difficult to gain acceptance even within the LGBT community. I hope you have found peace. I celebrate you! Congrats on your 21 year partnership.

by grlpatriot 2008-06-02 05:53PM | 0 recs

I have the utmost respect for you and everyone else who has come out in this thread.

by CrazyDrumGuy 2008-06-02 05:32PM | 0 recs
So what's up with the

"Tiny URL" link on the bottom right?  Looks like a Pi and doesn't show in other diaries.  Links to a YouTube video of Rick Astley singing "Never Gonna Let You Go".

Interesting, that.

by aggieric 2008-06-02 05:59PM | 0 recs
Rick rolling

I think the Admins are having a bit of fun Rick rolling. Cute guys.

by grlpatriot 2008-06-02 06:06PM | 0 recs
I thought perhaps they were

dedicating it to we, the devoted lgbt Clinton supporters.


by aggieric 2008-06-02 06:20PM | 0 recs
Re: I thought perhaps they were

Alas, no, it's used to ridicule. Pi=pie=stupid and rick rolling is a prank. So, ha-ha and a fond f*** you to the site admin or user that did it. GROW UP!

by grlpatriot 2008-06-02 06:35PM | 0 recs
Re: I thought perhaps they were

Thank you, Jerome, for removing it.

by grlpatriot 2008-06-03 06:08AM | 0 recs
Thank You

Thank you for sharing this with all of us. Your story is very moving.

I hope that we can make sure that all of our elected Dems know that we care passionately about the rights of LBGT Americans.  They all need to follow Sen. Clinton's lead and stand strongly behind this issue.

by PSockNerd 2008-06-02 06:08PM | 0 recs
Beautiful, beautiful diary

from a beautiful person.  Thank you for your honesty, and for supporting Hillary.  

by izarradar 2008-06-02 06:15PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton (updated)
common ground is so much wider than is often expressed at MyDD
I have much faith in those(including my "kids")under 30. Their tolerance/acceptance bode well for our future as a nation.
by nogo postal 2008-06-02 06:33PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton (updated)

Beautiful diary.

I'm out and proud and have been for many years. And the Clintons mean a lot to me also. I'll never forget their dedication to the LBGT community and their willingness to speak openly for and about us and to support openly our causes. It made me even more proud to be a Democrat.

I applaud what you've said and I stand by Hillary all the way.

by cuppajoe 2008-06-02 07:31PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton (updated)

I agree the Clintons have been great friends of ours. Thanks for "coming out" for Hillary.

by grlpatriot 2008-06-02 08:51PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton (updated)

Thank you for your beautiful post.  I also thought Clinton stood up to try to allow Gays in the Military. Most of my friends hated the Clintons for the Don't ask, Don't tell compromise. I thought it was a step in the right direction.  It was so affirming to me. I don't think any President had even ever spoke about LBGT issues before. I don't even know if they mentioned gays at all. Reagan didn't even mention Gays and Aids until Rock Hudson died.  I think if Bill was president instead of Reagan, many of my friends  in the '80's would still be alive.

Hillary has outreached to the Gay community more than any other presidential candidate i can remember. Most of my friends are obama supporters and say it isn't real, that she is just pandering. Well, i believe that she cares about people and wants to make things better. And I don't think enough attention has been paid to Gay and Lesbian issues as to other groups. If it is pandering, i want more pandering to my issues.

I want to mention 2 more things. The video I saw on mydd when Hillary talked about preventing Gay Teen Suicide just made me cry and cry. I kept watching it for days. That real issues like that can be discussed by a presidential candidate shows that to her, people like me are not invisible. And another issue that she sees me would be her support of having allowed my long term lover to apply for a green card as my partner, instead of him him having gotten one from his work.  A lot of what I think she can do wont help me, but I think they will help future generations having to go through what I went through.

by maxstar 2008-06-02 07:43PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton (updated)

Thanks for your comment. Do you have a link to the vid you mentioned about Hillary discussing the prevention of Gay Teen Suicide? I must have missed that one. Hillary is the real deal. The Clintons were the first to speak openly in support of us from the highest office. It sent a strong message to the country that it was time to change. And change we did (and are still doing). Sounds like your friends need a little history lesson on how important the Clintons were politically for the movement. :)

by grlpatriot 2008-06-02 09:03PM | 0 recs
Nice Diary
and not to be overly critical.. but this line struck me as ironic.
They stood up for me and kicked the closet door open.

You realize that 'Don't ask, Don't tell' is the literal manifestation of the closet in policy. It didn't kick the closet doors open... it literally built them around you. If you are gay serving in the military... not only are you not allowed to be gay... but now your are specifically required as a matter of policy to stay in the closet. DADT just reinforces the closet... it didn't do a thing to tear it down.
by Tatan 2008-06-02 07:51PM | 0 recs
That's out of context with the time.

by itsadryheat 2008-06-02 08:27PM | 0 recs
Re: That's out of context with the time.

Isn't not asking and not telling kind of the definition of 'the closet'? How is that out of context with the time? You could say it was the best that could be done given the climate at the time... but that doesn't mean it "blew the doors off the closet"... it by definition reinforced the door... by putting a lock on both sides.

by Tatan 2008-06-02 08:40PM | 0 recs
How old were you in 1992?

The very mention in the campaign of anything gay was blowing the doors off.  Many gays werer allowed to serve in LESS dire and hostile environment after than before.  How ever insufficient and flawed it was to take what Joint Chief to Staff Colin {Powell said was the absolute most to be gotten without outright mutiny in the armed services from the top down, with all the chiefs in revolt and the Congress no help it was great, compared to nothing changing at all.  But guess you had to be there.

by itsadryheat 2008-06-02 09:19PM | 0 recs
So blame Colin Powell and Sam Nunn....

The fact that we came away with a compromise, or "half-loaf", is not the fault of the first people who every tried to tackle the issue--the Clintons. And limousine liberals like John Kerry and Ted Kennedy offered little help...not enough political capital in an unpopular issue like gays in the military, I guess.

And I hate to confuse you with the facts, but anti-gay hate crimes in the military have declined by over 700% since the policy was implemented, and there have only been five court-martials based on sexual orientation.

Ironically, Obam-orons are mentioning Sam Nunn (and Jim Webb) as potential VP's. They probably aren't even aware of this history...too busy babbling about "change" and "hope".

by BJJ Fighter 2008-06-02 09:48PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton (updated)

GrlP - thanks for sharing your story.  Good to know where your commitment to Hillary Clinton comes from.  I wasn't out when Bill ran in '91, but came out a few years later.

As a trans ally myself, I deeply appreciate your comment above in solidarity with people struggling with gender identity (or society's reaction to it).  I guess that's the kind of strong solidarity you appreciated from the Clintons back in the day, and still today!

I agree with Rumarhazzit, I can't imagine going back in the closet.  I had a military recruiter try to recruit me once, and I said I wasn't willing to closet myself.  He suggested it wouldn't be that bad.  I nicely told some of my story, explaining JUST how big a toll it takes.  He changed his tune.

I'm a cynic.  I don't expect solidarity from everyone.  I'm convinced that Obama is the real thing.  I trust him.  Should he become the nominee, I hope you'll give him a chance, even if we all know your heart truly lies with Clinton.

Thanks again for a great diary, honoring your candidate and raising visibility for the LGBTetc movement.

by Matt Smith 2008-06-02 07:52PM | 0 recs
I hope you are not disappointed by him.

I was astonished when he set up as his opening act and draw at a large, fundraising rally a man who has as his claim to fame his anti gay "message" and his admonishment to all LGBTs to get themselves "cured".

When LGBT Democrats reacted in horror and quickly let Senator Obama know what a mistake he was making, he insisted on continuing with his plans to make it.    It looked so unlike a democrat running for office to lend his power to such a message and messenger and sent such a horrible message to the peole who want to excuse their homophobia and discrimination against LGBTs.  A careful reading of any statement or website treatment from Obama on the subject will show that there is some dog whistling going on.  It is not a Party value, but if the Party picks him, you will have to fight for respect and support.  That is, if past is prologue...

by itsadryheat 2008-06-02 08:41PM | 0 recs
Re: I hope you are not disappointed by him.

If he was trying to dog-whistle for the antigay crowd, Obama probably lost them when he PUBLICLY REJECTED MCCLURKIN'S VIEWS.

Love how you want to keep hanging that around his neck after he made a clear statement about it.

by Matt Smith 2008-06-02 09:16PM | 0 recs
His ACTION was much louder than his words.

by itsadryheat 2008-06-02 10:27PM | 0 recs
Re: His ACTION was much louder than his words.

Hmmm...but signing DOMA was hunky-dorky?

by bosdcla14 2008-06-02 11:42PM | 0 recs
Re: His ACTION was much louder than his words.

Yep, and if you had even bothered to read the diary or the comments you would clearly see why.

by grlpatriot 2008-06-03 06:06AM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton (updated)

My respect for Hillary grows each day.  

I am in shock over how she has been the scapegoat for the imagined crimes of all women.

Not only the pain she must endure and somehow magically turn it into more power to go on, but the way President Clinton and Chelsea must suffer to see her pillaried before the world day after day.

How that family has suffered is difficult for me to imagine, and despite their human failings, I do believe their deepest intention is to serve the common good.  And for that they must pay.

They will always be heros to me.

by RockRooky 2008-06-02 08:27PM | 0 recs
Yep--Tom de Lay and Newt Gingrich could take

lessons from the Obama crowd. The stuff they dished out at the Clintons back in the 90's is nothing compared to what the Obam-orons have thrown at them this year.

Say what you want about the GOP: at least they treat their ex-Presidents and (First Ladies) with respect. In the Democratic Party, we just try to destroy them.

Back in the Spring, when it was first revealed that the State Department had rifled Obama's passport file, an entire thread on Daily Kos was started accusing Senator Clinton of the wrongdoing, and suggesting that she should resign from the Senate (yes folks, I am serious). The only thing more bizarre I ever heard was an accusation made years ago, that the Clintons had a few people murdered down in Arkansas.

That one was peddled by Jerry Falwell.

by BJJ Fighter 2008-06-02 09:41PM | 0 recs
Re: Yep--Tom de Lay and Newt Gingrich could take

Shorter you: The Republicans accusing the Clintons of murder is nothing compared to Obama criticizing Hillary for supporting the Iraq War.  :)  

by bosdcla14 2008-06-02 11:48PM | 0 recs
Re: Yep--Tom de Lay and Newt Gingrich could take

And that was just one of the Republican talking points parroted by Obama supporters on dkos. I'm sure they used it where ever they could.

by grlpatriot 2008-06-03 06:03AM | 0 recs
Great post.

I agree completely.  In many different ways, both Bill and Hillary have been right out in front on this issue, and in many cases, received political fire over it.

by zmus 2008-06-02 08:54PM | 0 recs
You've said it so beautifully, I can't add much.

I'm a GWM, and never felt much support from any of the major institutions in society--church, family, government--until the Clintons came along. When the "pros" questioned why the President tackled "gays in the military" during his very first week in office, his response was Truman-esque in its honesty and strength:

"Because I made a promise".

Obviously, it's been hard to see the President and Senator Clinton trashed over the last year by limousine liberals--people who know very little about crafting public policy, and have had little if any success in winning national elections. For many of us, the "Father" Phleger video last week was just about the last straw. It will take a long time for many of us to find another political family; I don't think I have much in common with this crowd.

by BJJ Fighter 2008-06-02 09:08PM | 0 recs
I agree.

It's heartbreaking.

by portia9 2008-06-02 09:18PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton (updated)

I love your diary. Thanks for sharing. When I was doing my homework on my candidate, I found this: 9s

It's a video of Hillary speaking with gay teens about their unique challenges. I was so impressed with her answers. I never cease to be impressed by the depth of her knowledge on so many wide ranging issues.

by portia9 2008-06-02 09:15PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton (updated)

Magnificent diary.

I wholeheartedly and staunchly support Senator Clinton and will continue to do so every inch of this campaign and whatever she decides to going forward.

grlpatriot, I heed your call. I stand by Hillary Clinton.

by optimisticBoy 2008-06-02 09:25PM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton (updated)

optimisticBoy, thanks for coming out in support of Hillary. Arm and arm, inch by inch we stand with her in whatever she decides.

by grlpatriot 2008-06-03 05:48AM | 0 recs
It's an honor to share the political and human...

stage with you.  You have such a beautiful spirit and it shines through your diary.

Even though we differ in sexuality and candidates we support, we could not be more alike as it relates to one major core value: Human and Civil Rights.

Human and civil rights belong to EVERYONE! I HATE when the so-called 'value issues' are used to dominate the political discourse as a way to strum voters fears and divide the electorate.  It's SO wrong and my gay family and friends found great comfort in the Clinton administration in the 90's simply because they were the first leaders to treat them as citizens and not a freak of nature or "God's rejects," as gays are called in my son's school.

So stand proud with Sen. Clinton!  I have much respect for your decision to come out as well as your reasons for supporting Sen. Clinton.  I am glad for you that you get the chance to celebrate such an important moment, your coming out, with such remarkable leaders in the Clintons.

by ILean Left 2008-06-02 09:47PM | 0 recs
Re: It's an honor to share the political and human

my gay family and friends found great comfort in the Clinton administration in the 90's simply because they were the first leaders to treat them as citizens and not a freak of nature or "God's rejects," as gays are called in my son's school.

Thank you for sharing this. The commentor (rf7777) that posted above you doesn't seem to get how the Clintons set this country on the road to equal rights.

by grlpatriot 2008-06-03 05:53AM | 0 recs
As an out gay man

You will of course forgive me for not believing ANY Clinton further than I can spit when it comes to GLBT issues.  I would prefer a politician do nothing on gay issues rather than to do things simply for political advancement.  

I have very few gay friends who supported Hillary.

by rf7777 2008-06-03 04:42AM | 0 recs
Best Cand. Diary I've Seen in Months

I'm an Obama supporter, but I'm glad to see this, and hear your story.

Tipped, Recced, and good luck tonight!

by steampunkx 2008-06-03 05:35AM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton (updated)

Hey, you :) :) How wonderful you did this for Hill and yourself. Kudos.I have so much appreciated all you have done for hill on mydd over the past months. I hope you and your partner have all the kids you want, and you have a wonderful and lovely and authentic life.

by linfar 2008-06-03 07:26AM | 0 recs
Re: Come Out, Stand By Hillary Clinton (updated)

Thanks, Linfar. It's been a long road hasn't it. But we are still here, still standing up for Hillary.

by grlpatriot 2008-06-03 09:11AM | 0 recs


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