Why I no longer support Feingold -- the divorce.

After further review and agonizing soul-searching (which explains why I didn't write a diary yesterday), I have decided that I can no longer support Russ Feingold for President. I am well and truly beaten. I did not realize that a twice-divorced candidate would be such a big liability. I fear that it would be such a great liability that we would be beaten even worse than McGovern and Mondale did.

As much as we might agree with Feingold 100% on the issues, he is simply not electable. People want a candidate who represents America, and they would always go for the man who best represents their ideals. This includes having a traditional family. After all, if a man can't run his family, then how can he run this country?

So now, let me look at the other candidates. First off, I will try Hillary. After all, she is the front-runner, she would be the first woman president, and you would get her husband as well. Oh, wait. I forgot. She is too hysterical and angry. Rove is looking on her with relish, ready to create his magnum opus by unleashing the dogs of war on her.

Next comes John Kerry. After all, he is a true Patriot who served his country well. Furthermore, he did well by almost unseating a sitting President in wartime. Oh, wait -- He rambles and flip-flops. People are too scared of him. He says things in 100 words that he could have said in 10. And he was for certain bills before he was against them. So, while his record of public service is impressive, he will never be able to live beyond that moment.

Then comes Mark Warner. After all, he is a brilliant politician and campaigner who is an excellent consensus builder. Oh, wait. He has no foreign policy experience, which is exactly what we need during these troubled times with the Iraq War. I'd better look for someone else.

Then comes Wes Clark. He is one of the greatest generals of modern times and won the Kosovo War in 78 days without the loss of an American life. Oh, wait -- he was once a -- gulp -- Republican. How are we supposed to know he is not a Republican in Democrat's clothing?

Then comes Jon Edwards. A man with an inspiring story, he has the charm to take it all. In addition, he addresses problems that none of the other candidates do with his anti-poverty initiatives. Oh, wait -- he is a lawyer, and everybody knows that he will just serve as an enabler for those who will file frivilous lawsuits. Even if he didn't, that is a clear image problem.

I guess that all of these people have achilles heels that simply make them totally unelectable. I guess I will just stay home from the polls on election day.

You see what is wrong with what I was just advocating? People come to me all the time and complain that Russ Feingold is unelectable because he was divorced twice. But the same logic can be used to rule out voting for any other candidate. Therefore, if we are going to use such issues as an excuse not to vote for someone, we might as well not vote at all.

And by the way, that argument is nonsense. Everybody said that about Reagan as well.

Tags: 2008, Candidates, divorce, Feingold, presidential election, Primary, satire, snark (all tags)



Tip jar.

by Eternal Hope 2006-03-09 07:15AM | 0 recs
Re: Tip jar.

I don't like tip jars, but I had to balance out Bob, who I guess isn't crazy about sarcasm.

by Scott Shields 2006-03-09 08:01AM | 0 recs
Re: Tip jar.

I loved the diary and I love sarcasm, why do you think I gave a one.

Oh well, I'll go back and change it....

by blogswarm 2006-03-09 08:58AM | 0 recs
Re: Tip jar.

HA! It's like super-sarcasm looped back on itself. The mind boggles.

by Scott Shields 2006-03-09 09:01AM | 0 recs

Well then, for all thinking Americans there is only one choice left. *Newt Gingrich!

*it's okay if you're a republican

by Michael Bersin 2006-03-09 07:33AM | 0 recs
Re: Why I no longer support Feingold

haha nice one!

by saurabhgupta 2006-03-09 07:43AM | 0 recs
You've Got Two Choices!

Either Newt Gingrich, as Michael says, or a fence post:


Ronald Reagan what not just divorced, he got his second wife pregnant before they were married, he was estranged from a couple of his kids, and he had a long-standing relationship with the mob.

Why not support a fence post for President?  Fence posts never have messy personal lives.

by Paul Rosenberg 2006-03-09 07:44AM | 0 recs
Nope, a post turtle

The standards are so much lower now. dubya is a post turtle.

...."When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a Post Turtle."

The old man saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain:

"You know he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't belong there, he can't get anything done while he's up there, and you just want to help the poor dumb bastard get down."

by Michael Bersin 2006-03-09 10:38AM | 0 recs
You got me..

My blood was boiling, until the last sentence of your second paragraph.  You might want to rewrite that one with more subtlety.

by Drummond 2006-03-09 07:45AM | 0 recs
Better Yet, King George III

I've got the perfect campaign slogan:

    "We're not worthy!
Meanwhile, all the conservative pundits can lecture us about what a mistake it was attack His Majesty, for what were, after all, the mistakes of underlings, and how foolish we were to fight a revolutionary war, which gave rise to the French Revolution, the Russian Revolution, the Civil War, the Suffragettes, comic books, punk rock, Murphy Brown, Desperate Housewives and the end of civilization as we know it.

by Paul Rosenberg 2006-03-09 07:51AM | 0 recs
Re: Why I no longer support Feingold -- the divorc

Actually, the real reason why some idiots won't vote for Feingold is because he's Jewish. Can you imagine what the R will "suggest" without actually saying it regarding his "real" loyalty to Israel?

by ColoDem 2006-03-09 08:12AM | 0 recs
Re: Why I no longer support Feingold -- the divorc

They don't seem to have too much difficulty fawning over Lieberman.  Are you suggesting Republicans are hypocrites?  SHOCK!

by Fran for Dean 2006-03-09 09:09AM | 0 recs
Re: Why I no longer support Feingold -- the divorc

GW Bush was unelectable because of drunk driving, drug abuse, skipping the V War, and just being a dumb-ass... of course he DID lose, so maybe there's something to this...


Electability is such a fake metric.

by teknofyl 2006-03-09 09:45AM | 0 recs
Re: Why I no longer support Feingold -- the divorc

Wasn't Rudy Giuliani divorced twice? And didn't he live with a gay couple while going through one of his divorces?

by elrod 2006-03-09 10:19AM | 0 recs
Re: Why I no longer support Feingold -- the divorc

The GOP will not pick Guiliani.  He has too much dirt on him.  He also dressed up in drag for various events, and those pictures would doubtlessly come out to conservative southern voters.  

by Max Friedman 2006-03-09 11:41AM | 0 recs
Re: Why I no longer support Feingold -- the divorc

Didn't he dress in drag while hosting SNL?  Surely that's come out in the south?

by Valatan 2006-03-09 06:09PM | 0 recs
Re: Why I no longer support Feingold -- the divorc

I think he did at a few other events too.  If he does run (he wasn't at the GOP even this weekend, so maybe not), that would be in a lot of commericials.

by Max Friedman 2006-03-13 12:13PM | 0 recs
Re: Why I no longer support Feingold
Hmmm...run a family...lessee, Dubai has
a coupla daughters who are stellar examples
of well-behaved christyun women, a wife who resembles a robot on valium, etc.  But then he wasn't elected, but did prove to be selectable and appointable.  So what does it take?  Bottomless pits of money and corrupt vote-counting.  BTW, I think Senator Feingold
could make a terrific President, but will the
inside-the-beltway elite allow it?
by Uncle Willie 2006-03-09 10:47AM | 0 recs
Re: Why I no longer support Feingold

BTW, I think Senator Feingold could make a terrific President, but will the inside-the-beltway elite allow it?

If the outside-the-beltway citizenry demands it.

I still sting from Hackett and the mind wanders to Wellstone conspiracies, but as soon as I believe we really can't choose our leaders, I'm moving to Australia.


by hoose 2006-03-10 01:50AM | 0 recs
Why I no longer support Feingold -- the divorce.

The United States has not had a bachelor President before or after James Buchanan.  As for me, I think his personal life is his business.  I do think the traditional media will pay a lot of attention to it if Senator Feingold runs for President as a twice-divorced, single man.  And, that reality cannot be wished away.


by scd2 2006-03-09 05:19PM | 0 recs
Re: Why I no longer support Feingold -- the divorc

You forgot Bill Richardson, possibly the strongest Democratic contender out there.

by Ament Stone of California 2006-03-09 05:47PM | 0 recs
Re: Why I no longer support Feingold -- the divorc
America is prepared for a non-white President?
by saurabhgupta 2006-03-09 08:12PM | 0 recs
Re: Why I no longer support Feingold -- the divorc

Being Hispanic does not mean being non-white.  Bill Richardson seems pretty white to me.  (Even his name is fairly WASPy.)

by RickD 2006-03-10 03:47AM | 0 recs
Re: Why I no longer support Feingold -- the divorc

psaw! He's overweight! totally unelectable.

by KainIIIC 2006-03-10 05:52AM | 0 recs
Re: Why I no longer support Feingold -- the divorc

Where did "electability", come from and how does this exactly come into play with anyone?

by nowhere 2006-03-09 06:25PM | 0 recs
Feingold or Fools gold

I say we nominate the candidate with the bigges pair.

It may be Feingold or Clark or Hillary or whoever, but they have to exude some kind of strength. Otherwise we're done.

I can't see it from the Biden/DLC crowd.

Dems nominate candidates as if they're setting up an arranged marriage with the American public. We pick by best resume and then when it comes to the big show the public wretches on some personality trait. Look at the last 20 years.

We just need to put our best foot forward and nominate the most impressive candidate and forget the formulas. By most impressive I mean sounds the most genuine and is not a wus. I think the GOP has figured that out.

The public doesn't want to date a wus and they'd rather hook up with a dumb jock than a nerd. We're electing the most date-able candidate when it comes to the presidency.

by ugottabkidding 2006-03-10 03:24AM | 0 recs
Re: Feingold or Fools gold

There will always bee some stupid point to attack any candidate we put forward. The problem is our inability as a party to cogently and consistently rebutt such attacks. We LET them label us, paint us, tar us and feather us every goddamned time. And I for one am Pretty *** sick of it.

I want a smart president who can make choices that are good for the people, who believes in quality health care, education and opportunity for all, not just the richest 1%. I don't care if that person is a he, or a she, or a homo or hetero or jewish or atheist or black or white or even puece.

by TimThe Terrible 2006-03-10 05:14AM | 0 recs
Russ Feingold Is A Democrat

Ergo, Russ Feingold is unelectable. There are all kinds of reasons that every Democratic candidate is unelectable. Just ask Rush Limbaugh.

by Gary Boatwright 2006-03-10 11:04PM | 0 recs


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