So a candidate walks into a bar...

Anybody else remember the good old days when Democrats were enjoying the primaries and had a sense of humor about the candidates?  Anybody?  Bueller...Bueller?

I hereby proclaim this thread off limits to all infighting, outrage, scandals, words ending in "gate", people with sticks where the sun don't shine, and Ronald Reagan.  This diary is intended to be a much needed infusion of humor and camaraderie...as well as a chance to rack up some mojo.

Here's how it works.  Post your best political jokes or politically themed/captioned funny images in the comments.  Then check back to scroll through the whole thread, and mojo the jokes you like.  Go wild, and have fun!  I must ask, though that you adhere to two rules:

1. Include, in each post, the name of the candidate you support.  BE HONEST.
2. Restrict your jokes to only those against either your own candidate of choice or a Republican.

These rules are for your safety, so play fair.  Nobody wants to lose an eye to a particularly sharp, pointed bit of snark, mmkay?

On your mark, get set...go!

Tags: jokes, political humor, satire, snark (all tags)

Comments

11 Comments

Just to start things rolling...

I support Obama.

"Congratulations to Senator John McCain, the big winner in Florida. ... You know, this was what they call a GOP-only primary. So McCain had to win over a whole new voter group for him -- Republicans." --Jay Leno

by Elsinora 2008-04-15 12:40PM | 0 recs
Also...

(An oldie but a goodie)

Q. What's George W. Bush's position on Roe v. Wade?

A. He really doesn't care how people get out of New Orleans.

by Elsinora 2008-04-15 12:54PM | 0 recs
Re: Also...

OK, that's a good one! (And I've never heard it before either.)

by markjay 2008-04-15 01:17PM | 0 recs
I support Obama

John McCain walks into a bar at 5pm thinking he would get the early bird special, he fell asleep.

by Student Guy 2008-04-15 12:50PM | 0 recs
Re: So a candidate walks into a bar...

From an Obama supporter:

A Hydrogen atom walks into a bar. "Help me, I've lost an electron!"  

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm positive."

Okay, it's not a candidate joke; I just like it.

by rb608 2008-04-15 12:54PM | 0 recs
Re: So a candidate walks into a bar...

Obama supporter that loved the following Onion article: http://www.theonion.com/content/news/bla ck_guy_asks_nation_for_change

CHICAGO--According to witnesses, a loud black man approached a crowd of some 4,000 strangers in downtown Chicago Tuesday and made repeated demands for change.

"The time for change is now," said the black guy, yelling at everyone within earshot for 20 straight minutes, practically begging America for change. "The need for change is stronger and more urgent than ever before. And only you--the people standing here today, and indeed all the people of this great nation--only you can deliver this change."

.....

"I'm a hardworking American who pays his taxes, and the last thing I need is some guy on the street demanding change from me," said William Overkamp, a Springfield, IL gun-shop owner.

He added, "What he really needs is a job."

by upstate girl 2008-04-15 12:58PM | 0 recs
Re: So a candidate walks into a bar...

Loved this one, hilarious.

by asherrem 2008-04-15 02:10PM | 0 recs
Re: So a candidate walks into a bar...
An Obama supporter. I offer this image, found somewhere on the Internet. If you have a problem with vulgarity, or have an unreasonably strict boss, you may not wish to view this...
Check it
by LandStander 2008-04-15 12:59PM | 0 recs
Re: So a candidate walks into a bar...

Hillary supporter.

don't know any political jokes, but here's one.

Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police
station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most
wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it
really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The
detectives want very badly to capture him.' Little Johnny asked, 'Why didn't
you keep him when you took his picture?'

by LindaSFNM 2008-04-15 01:07PM | 0 recs
and here's Johnny again
A new teacher was trying to make use of her
psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks
they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The
teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?'
'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'
by LindaSFNM 2008-04-15 01:09PM | 0 recs
and little Johnny can't help himself. Again
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her
face. 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,'
said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. 'What's
the matter?' asked Little Johnny. 'Giving up?
 
by LindaSFNM 2008-04-15 01:09PM | 0 recs

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