BUSH, CONFUSED ABOUT ELECTION DAY, FIRES RUMSFELD IN 'DECEMBER SURPRISE'

Reprinted from The Satirical Political Report http://satiricalpolitical.com

President Bush yesterday fired Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, in a last-ditch attempt to rally his base and stave off a GOP disaster in the midterm elections.

When told that the election had already taken place, and that his party had suffered a bloodbath worthy of "Fight Club of Fallujah," Bush explained that he must've been relying on the official GOP Calendar, which is based on the 19th Century.

However, when informed of the GOP's disastrous loss of both houses of Congress, Bush admitted that he had been somewhat distracted by a contest he had entered into with Karl Rove: "Maybe if I had been more of a delegator, and less of a masturbator, things woulda' turned out differently."

In fact, things went so badly for the Republicans, they even lost the pedophile vote by a two-to-one margin.

CONTTINUED at: http://satiricalpolitical.com/?p=403

Tags: Bush, Congress, Democrats, Elections, fake news, fallujah, fight club, GOP, karl marx, Karl Rove, michael corleone, midterms, monicagate, Montana, Nancy Pelosi, neo-cons, New Deal, October Surprise, pedophiles, Republicans, rumsfeld, satire, starbucks, whitewater (all tags)

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