Stop Discrimination against Powerful, Rich White Guys
by bored now, Mon Jun 01, 2009 at 06:04:32 AM EDT
Barack Obama, black. Sonia Sotomayor, hispanic. Neither one of them card-carrying members of the status quo, the Trilateral Commission, or any other famous conspiracy group designed to perpetuate the power of the eastern establishment (made up of powerful, rich white guys).
Clearly, we live in a racist society. How dare we -- HOW DARE WE! -- abandon the powerful, rich white guys who have the experience and influence to know better. It's no wonder the economy has derailed and our influence in the world rapidly dropped since the inauguration of a non-white, non-powerful, not-nearly-as-rich man. A man who's nominated a racist to the Supreme Court.
This cannot stand. Powerful, rich white guys have long fed off the federal trough -- and their addiction to federal monies may be threatened by this preference for non-white, non-powerful, not-rich Americans. It is simply unacceptable to allow others to partake of the federal government. What was America thinking?
We had a powerful, rich white guy to choose from. How could America reject him? That's so unfair. America must be racist, too. Ignoring the superior qualities of being powerful, rich, white and male can only be derived from America's inherent racism.
President Obama would not have had this problem if he had nominated a powerful, rich white guy to the Court. Like George Bush did. And, undoubtedly, John McCain would have done. Nope.
The natural superiority of powerful, rich white guys is obvious. It's probably written in the Bible somewhere. If it's not, it should be. What the Obama Administration has done cannot be tolerated. Secretary of State? A woman. Attorney General? A black. Sure, the Secretary of Treasury is a powerful, rich white guy and so is the Secretary of Defense -- but he's a RINO. But to nominate a non-white, non-powerful, not-rich WOMAN to the Supreme Court is just going too far. There are simply not enough powerful, rich white guys on the Court right now.
Of the 110 people who have served on the court, only four were not white males. So Barack Obama must be a racist. Otherwise, he would have nominated a powerful, rich white guy. Sotomayor is obviously one. Just because. Powerful, rich white guys say so!
Discrimination against powerful, rich white guys simply cannot be tolerated. It's patently unfair. America was built by powerful, rich white guys and don't you forget it! They should be honored. They should be celebrated. They should be recognized for the inherent superiority they obviously share. It was clear that when we said -- in the Declaration of Independence -- all men are created equal, it really meant that all powerful, rich white guys are created equal. It didn't apply to Barack Obama or Sonia Sotomayor. Or, for that matter, YOU (until you join the ranks of the powerful, rich white guys). Be real!
That's the real difference between what Samuel Alito said ("When a case comes before me involving, let's say, someone who is an immigrant -- and we get an awful lot of immigration cases and naturalization cases, I can't help but think of my own ancestors because it wasn't that long ago when they were in that position.") and what Sonia Sotomayor said ("I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn't lived that life.") Alito is a powerful, rich white guy and she isn't. It's okay that he said it, because he's a powerful, rich white guy. He'll still rule on behalf of powerful, rich white guys. You can't be too sure with a non-white, non-powerful, not-rich woman.
This is all about power. Powerful, rich white guys should have it, and you shouldn't. Period. Stripping powerful, rich white guys of their power and influence over the federal government is discrimination. You better believe it.
And they will whine until you see it. And say Uncle. Until you return all power to where it belongs. To the powerful, rich white guys!
They may even start wearing all white -- just so you see the point -- to demonstrate how unfair this all is. They are better than you are, and they'll attack anyone who suggests otherwise. So stop discriminating against powerful, rich white guys!