Let Texas Secede

The United States of America elects Barack Obama and the first thing Texas wants to do is secede. Let 'em.

I'm sure that -- sometime, somewhere -- Texas Governor Rick Perry will claim that this isn't about the president's race, but why take the risk?  What does Texas bring to the table that America should be blackmailed into their particular version of patriotism.  If Texas doesn't want to be in the union, let them go.  F*ck 'em.  We don't need 'em.

This isn't a question of whether the Constitution (or Texas' annexation agreement) gives Texas the right to secede.  It's a question of whether Texas adds value to the Union, whether it is worth it to the rest of the country to put up with their crap.  Remember, Texas begged us to join the Union.  After declaring independence from Mexico, Texas sent James Freeman to Washington, D.C. to propose annexation in August 1837. President Van Buren's administration declined, apparently in the belief that annexing Texas would bring us to war with Mexico since it had neither abandoned its claim to Texas nor recognized Texan independence. Eight years later, annexation was completed:

One of the motivations for annexation was that the Texas government had incurred huge debts which the United States agreed to assume upon annexation.

There's no need to fight.  Texas was once a sovereign country that begged to join the United States because it mismanaged its independence.  Hey, we (the United States) did that, too, we just took a different route to solve the problem.  But what has Texas done for us?  There's no quicker way to end our dependence on oil than to cut off the slice of the country that is pushing us towards it.  And Texas wouldn't be a part of NAFTA, so there would be no need for "free trade" with them.  Let 'em trade with Mexico.

Speaking of Mexico, we probably wouldn't have to worry too much about illegal immigrants from Mexico as illegal immigration from Texas would undoubtedly be a greater concern.  Yeah, yeah, Texans love to complain about illegal immigration but I'm betting Oklahoma would become the new Texas.  The Okies and Louisiana probably would want to put up a fence to keep those disgusting Texans out.

Sure, you could probably count on Texas becoming a failed state right quick, but at least they'd self-destruct first.  They ain't too bright down there, and historical experience has already shown they don't know how to govern themselves too well.  Like any petro-state, they'd probably be more sensitive to the vulgarities of the oil market, but why should we care?

While we're at it, we need to make sure that the NCAA and our professional sports leagues kick out the Texan teams.  We'd need to set up tight border controls to keep Texans from fleeing that hellhole, so we couldn't very well allow their sports teams timely access to the United States.

Texas secession should be something we can all support!  Write your Senators and Congressmen today, demanding that they support the secession of Texas from the United States.  Imagine, if Texas had been an independent country, the image of this country across the globe wouldn't have been diminished by the cowboy antics of George W. Bush!  This is really a bipartisan idea who's time has come!  Let Texas secede.  The United States could only be better for it...

Tags: Rick Perry, Tea Parties, Texas Independence (all tags)



Re: Let Texas Secede

I say we give Texas back to Mexico.

by hankg 2009-04-16 10:11AM | 0 recs
Slight Modification

We keep Austin in the deal, they get Plano and Dallas, we get greater Austin!

by WashStateBlue 2009-04-16 10:22AM | 0 recs
Re: Slight Modification

We could airdrop condoms and banned books.

by mikeinsf 2009-04-16 10:52AM | 0 recs
They would be watching the Daily Show

and listening to Air America on illegal recievers, as the State Morals Committee will have banned all broadcast as immoral...

by WashStateBlue 2009-04-16 11:58AM | 0 recs
Re: Let Texas Secede

Perhaps I'm lacking the sufficient sense of humor, but I would rather not abandon all of my Texan friends and family members to the vagaries of "independent Texas" just to spite a bunch of yahoos.

by Dreorg 2009-04-16 10:34AM | 0 recs
Re: Let Texas Secede

Thank you, at least someone left the hyperbole and generalizations at home.  I thought part of being a liberal meant you didn't refer to an entire demographic as stupid ("they ain't too bright down there").  While dismissing an entire demographic as intellectually inferior might score you some cheap points in an echo chamber or make you feel better about yourself, it poisons the well of discourse.

I'm a native Texan, and I'm very proud of my Texas heritage.  I'm also very proud of my country.  While I no longer live in Texas, I am pretty sure that secessionists do not speak for the majority of Texans.

I'll give the author some points in regards to saying that seceding would be a stupid course of action.  Texas needs the United States more than the United States needs Texas, but the same can be said of ANY state in the union.  The blatant superiority complex vis a vis us "ignert rednecks" is however appalling.

by lowdog 2009-04-16 11:13AM | 0 recs

you weren't more appalled by the suggestion that we prohibit texan sport teams from competing against us "true americans"???

damn, i really thought that was the dead giveaway...

by bored now 2009-04-16 11:20AM | 0 recs
being a liberal

apparently means taking your "Texas heritage" way too seriously.

by JJE 2009-04-16 11:25AM | 0 recs
by WashStateBlue 2009-04-16 01:17PM | 0 recs
Re: being a liberal

I just resent people making generalizations and implying that "liberal" and "Texan" are contradictions.  I'm sure homosexual men resent implications that they are all effiminate.  I'm sure French people resent implications they are all cowards.

by lowdog 2009-04-16 05:40PM | 0 recs
lighten up francis

This diary was clearly tongue in cheek.  Nobody thinks every single Texan is a teabagger.  I know many Austin liberals.  But wingnuts dominate the state and there's nothing wrong with having some fun at their expense.

by JJE 2009-04-17 07:05AM | 0 recs
plus, i would miss sxsw...

to go along with friday night lights...

by bored now 2009-04-17 07:56AM | 0 recs
the good ones can move

we can set up sanctuary cities for them.  

by JJE 2009-04-16 11:15AM | 0 recs
Re: the good ones can move

We'll just put the bad ones on an island somewhere.

by lowdog 2009-04-16 05:36PM | 0 recs
In all seriousness

One of the negative externalities Texan backwardness imposes on all of us is through public school textbooks.  The Texas Education Board has to approve standards for textbooks used in Texas school.  Naturally, wingnut influence is large on that board, esp. w/r/t to teaching evolution.


The problem for the rest of us non-Texans is that because the Texas schoolbook market is so large, textbook publishers generally make sure that any book they publish will meet Texas's bizarro standards.

Until 2004 one wingnut couple was wielding enormous influence in what was in the entire nation's textbooks.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mel_and_Nor ma_Gabler

by JJE 2009-04-16 12:29PM | 0 recs
this is true...

and it seems to effect science books more than it should...

by bored now 2009-04-16 12:37PM | 0 recs
Just wait a few years

I would not get to worked up about Republicans in Texas. Their days are numbered. Like New Mexico, Texas will be a majority Hispanic state and solidly Democratic in the not to distant future.

by hankg 2009-04-16 12:31PM | 0 recs

i wrote this firmly tongue in check.  i think we should take texas secession as seriously as it is offered/threatened...  

by bored now 2009-04-16 12:39PM | 0 recs
Can we go baack in time and let TX secede in 98-99

We could all have avoided W.

by ann0nymous 2009-04-16 12:45PM | 0 recs
Re: Can we go baack in time

Yeah, I kind of feel like the damage has already been done.  Now it would just be like kicking Willie Nelson out of the country.

by Jess81 2009-04-16 04:48PM | 0 recs
Re: Can we go baack in time

no!  We keep Willie!

by mikeinsf 2009-04-16 11:07PM | 0 recs
Re: Let Texas Secede

It's not about succession its all about Barack Obama programs. First it was the stimulus package and how it was allowing tax payers pay for unemployment checks beyond the normal 26 cycle and giving to people that have exhusted their benefits and paying into the tax struction. Now it is about taxes and how it is unfair for the rich to pay more in income tax when the Bush tax cuts expire. It's not about Barack Obama, the right was going to fuss no matter what what is going to happen and we can't let Perry threaten us when we raise taxes next year.

by olawakandi 2009-04-16 01:13PM | 0 recs
You're on the right track

Just not thinking big enough.  Let's let the whole cotton-picking confederacy go, they're nothing but a drain on the rest of us anyway.  Let them finally have their fondest wish.

by ReillyDiefenbach 2009-04-16 02:16PM | 0 recs

i've already called for allowing south carolina to secede (when they were threatening the same thing).  but, basically, what i'm trying to say is: let's call their bluff.  they don't want to secede, they want the north to adopt their views...

by bored now 2009-04-16 02:56PM | 0 recs
The north AND the new west...

They are outnumbered, and outgunned as well...

Lot of guns out there in the New West.

And, the demographics are really going to screw them over, as someone posted, even in Texas, time and tide are not in their favor.

by WashStateBlue 2009-04-16 03:16PM | 0 recs
Re: The north AND the new west...

As well as the new South. Florida, Virginia and North Carolina are  turning blue. They will have to hole up in the rural deep south or the Appalachian hinterlands. The demographics everywhere else are sweeping them away.

by hankg 2009-04-16 04:56PM | 0 recs
Re: You're on the right track

That particular notion was taken to it's logical, and irrepressibly humorous, conclusion some years ago.  Enjoy.

by Shaun Appleby 2009-04-16 10:15PM | 0 recs
Re: You're on the right track

by canadian gal 2009-04-17 03:28PM | 0 recs
Re: Let Texas Secede

After 8 f*in years of George Bush - I say get rid of 'em...and anyone in TX who wants out should get a free ticket to whatever state they want to live in.

by nikkid 2009-04-16 09:07PM | 0 recs
Re: Let Texas Secede

LOL ... I agree.

Bye Bye nut cases.  

by RichardFlatts 2009-04-17 06:09AM | 0 recs

FOX News would be branding that guy a traitor.

by Pravin 2009-04-17 06:32AM | 0 recs
Re: Let Texas Secede

I have a ton of family in Texas, dozen of family members and have been all over the state. Texas is God's beta-version of HELL.

I'd love to let it go, but we can't. It's illegal.

by MNPundit 2009-04-17 08:31AM | 0 recs
I'd not be sorry to see it go.

I say they ditch Perry and elect Chuck Norris president though. Or maybe just appoint him dictator, king, or president for life. They could build statues for him all over the place, write tribute songs, and replace the Holy Ghost in the Trinity with Chuck.

And with Chuck Norris' badass at the helm, the state country would have some bite to go along with its silly "Don't Mess With Texas" bark.

by sricki 2009-04-17 09:29AM | 0 recs
Re: I'd not be sorry to see it go.

Can we just elect his chin?

by Jess81 2009-04-17 10:43AM | 0 recs
A Better Plan

Let Texas annex Oklahoma, Kansas, Nebraska, South Dakota and North Dakota. Make that whole section of the country one state. To keep the number of states 50, lets divide Massachusetts into six equal states. If we did that, then the Democrats would gain quite of few senate seats and electoral votes.

by Zzyzzy 2009-04-17 01:09PM | 0 recs
This Texan

isn't laughing. I've kinda had it with the TX bashing, all of it is so annoying already.

Its the same thing over and over again./

by alyssa chaos 2009-04-17 10:29PM | 0 recs


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