Homophobes baffled as Warren backtracks towards Jesus.
by Bob Sackamento, Sun Apr 12, 2009 at 09:19:39 AM EDT
As the Prop 8 vote drew near, Rick Warren eagerly pimped himself out to the Prop 8 movement (detailed by BarbinMD earlier last week). In a strange twist, though, he found himself on Larry King Live Monday distancing himself from none other than Rick Warren, as he denied supporting the anti-gay movement during last year's election. It was a purpose-driven waffle that contrasted starkly with his own words.
Perhaps, as Easter drew closer, Rick Warren decided to finally ask himself that age-old question: what would Jesus do? More likely, though, his conflicting remarks were a natural consequence of a man prone to emitting nonsensical, arbitrary brain farts that his handlers repackage and peddle as theological wisdom for a substantial profit.
Either way, Warren's remarks left his fellow hatemongers in a fit of absolute homophobic panic, as detailed in the legendary religious nutter paper, the Washington Times. One such bigot described the horror that overcame him when Rick Warren failed to forcefully pile onto the rancid mound of gay-bash that has been collecting in the backyards of some churches:
"I was extremely troubled by the way he appeared to be so anxious to distance himself from the same-sex issue and to make clear he was not an 'activist' and that he'd only addressed the issue in a very minor way," said the Rev. Al Mohler, president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Ky.
Rick's fellow agents were quick to paint Warren's act of perceived betrayal in the broader light of the so-called culture war:
"This is a major distraction in this battle for the culture we are experiencing," said Bishop Harry Jackson, pastor of Hope Christian Church in Beltsville and founder of the High Impact Leadership Coalition of 5,000 black and Hispanic evangelical leaders. "I really respect Pastor Warren, but his stance will hurt the evangelical church. He is being politically correct instead of biblically courageous."
The hysteria over Warren's remarks on Larry King Live is palpable. Does Rick Warren's apparent flip-flop signal the end to heterosexual marriage as we know it? Or will the cultural warriors, who once famously failed to stop the spread of black, be able to stop the spread of gay without Warren's stewardship? Stay tuned...