HIGHLIGHTS FOR 2009

HIGHLIGHTS FOR 2009

Former NBA star Charles Barkley has announced his intention to enter politics and run for governor of Alabama. However, in stating graphically that he ran a stop sign in his haste to obtain a certain physical pleasure, he hasundoubtedly disqualified himself as too honest to succeed as a politician.*

Caroline Kennedy seeks post of UN Secretary General.

Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald refused to comment on the rumor that IllinoisGovernor Rod Blagojevich had reached a plea bargain deal with the government. The terms of the deal supposedly calls for deposit of $500,000 in the Governor's Swiss bank account, as well as a cushy job for his wife.

Brett Favre says he plans to retire from his job as Jet's quarterback.

Former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales asserts that he was a casualty of the war on terror, not a culprit. At the same time, he announced the formation of a law firm, partnering with former Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers. The firm intends to specialize on human rights issues.

Zbigniew Brzezinski calls his daughter "stunningly superficial"

Bush - Cheney Legacy

The White House announced the naming of James Frey as official historian of the Bush-Cheney administration. It was felt that Mr. Frey is the author most qualified to do justice to the success and honor of this eight year administration. Mr Frey is most famous for his best selling memoir, "A Million Little Pieces".

GM Buys Chrysler, Plans to Move All Operations to South Carolina

Alaska Governor Sarah Palin claims turkey slaughter during her press conference was a terrible mistake. She had pardoned all those turkeys earlier in the day.

Hillary Clinton takes unauthorized trip to Moscow. The Secretary of State said that it was perfectly appropriate for her to travel to meet with Prime Minister Putin since she had known him for many years. A statement from President Obama's office noted that there had not been sufficient advance work, not referring to "preconditions" of course.

Pope complains to Obama. Pope Benedict XVI joined several European heads of states in a communiqué to President-elect Obama complaining that they have been unable to obtain tickets to his inauguration. They pleaded for his intervention on their behalf. In reply, Obama spokesman David Axelrod noted that, because of widespread demand, it would be extremely difficult but that he would see what he could.do.

homer  www.altara.blogspot.com

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KENNEDY BREAKS GROUND FOR HER SENATORIAL LIBRARY

SUB-ROSA NEWS

Some of the News
That may be True

KENNEDY BREAKS GROUND FOR HER SENATORIAL LIBRARY

In a brief groundbreaking ceremony, Caroline Kennedy tossed the traditional spadefull of dirt at the site for the library planned to commemorate her service as New York's Senator Typically, Ms. Kennedy was planning ahead in order to make sure that the project was properly executed to finish in budget and on time.

The statement released to the press emphasized the need to start building at this time in order to work out architectural details and to reach out to the many small donors who have supported her candidacy The Kennedy Foundation had recently
purchased this picturesque 23 acre tract on the Hudson for the purpose of establishing a world-class library for Senator Kennedy

Caroline Kennedy refused to take questions from reporters, but she did maintain that this was not a presumptuous move and said that she in no way was putting any pressure on Governor Paterson in the selection process.

homer   www.altara.blogspot.com

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OBAMA NAMES MADOFF AS IRS CHIEF

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OBAMA NAMES MADOFF AS IRS CHIEF

In another effort to institute change in Washington, President-elect Barack Obama has nominated disgraced financier Bernard Madoff to head the Internal Revenue Service. Facing criticism for naming a person of such shady character, Obama maintained that this is an example of the type of out-of-the-box thinking needed to counteract the business as usual thinking in Washington.

The President-elect noted that, throughout his campaign, he has
stated his intent to tone down partisanship and that it is not necessary that every one in his administration be in agreement on each and every issue. Just as his campaign broke new fund raising ground, Mr Madoff has developed new and successful methods of obtaining funds.

Mr Obama added that in these trying times, when the government needs additional revenues, it is crucial that the IRS, the nation's revenue producing agency, be led by someone with a proven record in the art of raising cash.

homer  www.altara.blogspot.com

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Daschle in Chargw of Health Reform

Daschle is a good choice for this job.

As an aside, shouldn't Tom Daschle thank Harry Reid for making him seem charismatic?

homer  www.altara.blogspot.com

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Chris Matthews for Senate?

UPDATE: PA Dems Say Matthews Can Win Senate Race

Although Chris Matthews has not confirmed it, he reportedly is planning to run for the Senate seat from Pennsylvania in 2010. He apparently has been meeting with Democratic leaders and is shopping for a house in his old home town, Philadelphia.

Matthews has been advised to resign soon from his position as host of MSNBC's popular Hardball program. This seems wise since the longer he stays there, the more likely he is of making a statement that could jeopardize his campaign. In fact, odds are high that, during a campaign, he will say something that could derail his election chances.

However, I hope that he runs and that he wins. One thing for sure, a debate moderator will not have a problem, as Jim Lehrer did, in getting Matthews to engage directly with his opponent. Note also that his likely opponent, Senator Arlen Spector, is no shrinking violet.

Then if he wins, it will be a treat seeing Matthews in the Senate, continually interrupting senior Senate leaders as they speak. The interruption may well be in the form of a long question that Matthews will then proceed to answer.

homer   www.altara.blogspot.com

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NETWORKS COMPLAIN ABOUT OBAMA NEWS CONFERENCES

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NETWORKS COMPLAIN ABOUT OBAMA NEWS CONFERENCES

In a joint action, the nation's television networks sent a letter of complaint to the Obama transition team regarding the incessant barrage of news conferences now taking place. The letter conceded that President-elect Obama needed to speak out about the current economic crisis and to announce major appointments. However, they saw no need to have a news conference every time a new White House adviser is appointed.

The letter expressed the hope that there would not be a news conference to announce that Defense Secretary Gates will stay on for another year. Also, the letter noted, since the appointment of Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State has been going on for over two weeks, therewould really be no need to hold a news conference to introduce her to the American public.

Of particular concern is the practice of holding these daily conferences in Chicago rather than in the news capitols of Washington or New York. In a separate statement, NBC news director Roger Isles said that, in these times of belt tightening, the burden of travel to Chicago was overwhelming. Already, he noted, Andrea Mitchell was complaining bitterly about having to fly in coach and stay in cheap hotels.

homer   www.altara.blogspot.com

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TRANSITION THOUGHTS

Secretary of State - I'm all for Hillary Clinton for this post. Main reason is that she would be very good at it. There may be a bit of conflict but I'm sure No Drama Obama can handle it. Politically, her appointment would increase his support among women. Economically, Obama should ask Doris Kearns Goodwin for a share of the royalties from increased book sales.

Treasury Secretary - Larry Summers has been the front runner but many are worried that the Harvard thing will be a big problem. I'm inclined to believe that this problem will fade away, leaving us with the complaint that Summers is too abraive. I think that Obama can convince him to tone down. And, whenever he wants abrasive, Summers can visit Raul Emanuel in the White house.

The Puppy - A major White House decision. Once selected, there will be a question of name. If
it's a girl puppy, I would name it Hillary. Then, there's a chance that a Hillary will do as Obama says. If a boy puppy, I would expect it to grow into an attack dog and name it Raul.

homer   www.altara.blogspot.com

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Election Voting Lines

Admiration and outrage. I have unbounded admiration of those who, in early voting this year,have stood in line for 3, 6, or up to 10 hours in order to exercise their right to vote. They, and those who may have similar waits in the general election, demonstrate true dedication to democracy in America.

But such extreme waits are an outrage. How many are discouraged from voting by long lines, or physically unable to endure them? Here we are, supposedly the greatest democracy in the world,
placing unnecessary impediments to the exercise of the basic right of voting.

Cannot the country of the internet, google, military might, and innovation figure out how to make it easy to vote? Certainly, some of the problems come from political misfeasance, but most of them stem from indifference, inefficiency, an insufficient funding. We can employ more innovative techniques such as mail voting, internet voting, and weekend election days. But the least we can do, and must do, is provide the funds, trained personnel, and number and variety of polling locations to provide our citizens a reasonable way to exercise the basic right to vote.

homer  www.altara.blogspot.com

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OBAMA BUYS WORLD SERIES TIME


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That may be True

OBAMA BUYS WORLD SERIES TIME

Chicago. October 29, 2008. This morning, Senator Barack Obama's headquarters confirmed that the campaign had purchased the game 5 time scheduled for broadcasting after Obama's 30 minute infomercial. Campaign spokesman Reginald Smith noted that the unfounded charges by Senator McCain that Obama's broadcast would cause a delay in the start of the game played no part in the decision.

While the content to be aired in the extra time could not be revealed, campaign sources indicated that the Senator may be reading excerpts from the two books he had written.

When questioned by the media, Fox News responded with a press release. The release noted that this was not a whole game, since game 5 had been halted in the 6th inning. Besides, hardly any one was watching this series at all. In a separate release, Fox News announced that the entire conclusion of game 5 would be available on You Tube.

homer www.altara.blogspot.com

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Comments on Palin

CAMPAIGN DRESSING

Big issue: McCain campaign spent $150,000 on clothes for VP nominee Sarah Palin, purchased at high end stores. Big deal. How does this differ from buying campaign signs, or installing Greek style columns? On the one hand, I'm glad to have the McCain campaign impeded by a phony issue. However, distractions such as this and the William Ayres terrorist implication and the Acorn foolishness have no place in in serious campaigns.

And, in this case, buying the clothes for Palin is clearly relevant and proper since she is mainly a campaign decoration.

PALIN FLAP

Chris Matthews and others have been bashing VP candidate Sarah Palin for her view of the role of the vice president. In response to a question from a 3rd grader, she said, among other things, that the VP is in charge of the Senate and can promote policies there that will improve our nation.

The pundits keep pointing out that, under the Constitution, the vice president's role is only to succeed the president if necessary and to preside over the Senate, voting only to break any tie.

Has no one heard of Dick Cheney? He has demonstrated that the VP job can include running the White House, monitoring the CIA, firing Justice Department lawyers, promoting the use of torture, and starting wars in the Middle East.

homer   www.altara.blogspot.com

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