LIEBERMAN'S NEW BOOK: 'IF I DID IT (Join the GOP)'

Reprinted from The Satirical Political Report http://satiricalpolitical.com

In what all decent folks are condemning as the most vile, cynical and self-centered act in memory, "INDEPENDENT"- Democrat Joe Lieberman has just published a book entitled: 'IF I DID IT (Join the GOP)'.

Appearing on FOX News to promote the book, Lieberman described -- in strictly hypothetical terms, of course -- the fatal wounds that would be inflicted on the Democrats if he stabbed them in the back and joined the GOP ranks.

Such a massacre would include ceding Iraq policy back to Bush, having two more years of right-wing judicial appointments, and enough waterboarding to clean all the blood off O.J.'s Bronco.

To dramatize his threat, Lieberman stood up in the middle of his FOX appearance and struggled to put on a blue blazer -- that was clearly two sizes too small for him -- exclaiming: "it just doesn't fit, I may have to quit."

CONTINUED at: http://satiricalpolitical.com/?p=414

There's more...

SENATE DEMS, TO PLACATE LIEBERMAN, CONVERT TO JUDAISM

Reprinted from The Satirical Political Report http://satiricalpolitical.com

In an attempt to stay on Holy Joe Lieberman's good side, and thus retain their razor-thin Senate majority, all Democratic Christian Senators today pledged to immediately convert to Judaism.

For those Democrats who are already Jewish, they have agreed to go from Reform to Orthodox Judaism (skipping right over the "conservative" branch, with its negative political connotations).

The Democratic Caucus also agreed to replace the Senate chaplain with a rabbi, and to lower the number for a Senate quorum to "ten," in accordance with Jewish law governing minyans.

Of course, shutting down Congress early on Friday is not even at issue, since members skip town by Thursday afternoons anyway.

CONTINUED at: http://satiricalpolitical.com/?p=413

There's more...

BUSH SENIOR BUSTED FOR NEGLIGENT SUPERVISION OF JUNIOR

Reprinted from The Satirical Political Report http://satiricalpolitical.com

While George Bush the Elder is currently being hailed for pulling in the reins on his ne'er- do-well son, local authorities in Kennebunkport, Maine have arrested "41″ on counts of "negligent supervision of a minor," and "endangering the planet."

As the Kennebunkport D.A. rhetorically asked at his press conference, "what good is it to take the car keys away from a wasted teenager, after he's already destroyed the neighborhood?"

Paraphrasing from the Maine Criminal Code, the D.A. asserted that Poppy Bush "knew or should have known, of a need to prevent Dubya from operating a country, especially under the influence of Dick Cheney."

CONTINUED at:http://satiricalpolitical.com/?p=411

There's more...

NEW SECDEF GATES ASSUMES 'THE WEIGHT' (TAKE A LOAD OFF RUMMY)

Reprinted from The Satirical Political Report http://satiricalpolitical.com

I've taken the liberty of rewriting The Weight, The Band classic, as a service to Secretary of Defense-in-waiting Robert Gates, as he confronts the nightmare that awaits him in Iraq, thanks to "41's" attempt to salvage the legacy of his wayward son:

I pulled into Baghdad, Iraq was 'bout half past dead
I just need some place, where the violence is not widespread
"Hey, mister, can you tell me, where a man won't just be bled?"
He just grinned and shot my hand, and "No!" was all he said

Take a load off Rummy, can Iraq be free?
Take a load off Rummy, And ... and ... and ... you put the load right on me

I picked up my M-16, I went lookin' for a place to hide
When I saw al-Maliki, and al-Sadr walkin' side by side
I said, "Hey, Maliki, come on, let's go to the Green Zone"
He said, "I gotta go, but m'friend can take the throne"

CONTINUED at: http://satiricalpolitical.com/?p=409

There's more...

Why Russ Feingold is not Running for President: A Play in One Act

Scene 1

Lights up on Senator Russ Feingold in his office.  He picks up his phone, dials, and waits.


Lights up on Senator Barack Obama in his office, walking to his phone. He picks it up.



Obama: Hello.


Feingold: Hey, Barack, it's Russ.


Obama: Hey, Russ, what's up?


Feingold: Not much, not much.  What's up with you?


Obama: Not a lot. Busy week, you know.


Feingold: Sure, sure. (pause) So, we had a great night Tuesday, huh?


Obama: Sure did. It's really exciting.


Feingold: It sure is. (longer pause) So...um...you're gonna run.  Aren't you.


Obama: Yeah.


Feingold: Okay, thanks, buddy.


Hangs up


Scene 2


Lights up on interview between Feingold and a reporter.


Reporter: So, why have you decided not to run for president?


Feingold: Oh, you know, having too much fun being a senator!


Curtain.





If you like this post, I hope you'll take a second and Digg it.  I'd really appreciate it!

- Qshio

There's more...

Diaries

Advertise Blogads