Not Only That, but........

Fox News is Fair and Balanced

Saddam Hussein is still hiding somewhere in Iran

Vladamir Putin is our most trusted ally

Iraq attacked us on September 11th 2003

We're winning the War On Terror

John Edwards is a closeted homosexual

CNN is the Most Trusted Name in News

There never were any Secret Prisons

Scooter Libby should be Pardoned

We found the Weapons of Mass Destruction

Joe Lieberman is the most Progressive Democrat in Congress

Mike Gravel will be the next President of the United States

Tom Tancredo is the new Martin Luther King Jr.

Hillary Clinton is a Liberal Anti-War Democrat

MSNBC is the Place for Politics

The Daily Show is a tool for the Far Right

Ann Coulter is the leader of the Progressive Movement

There is no Genocide in Darfur

Rush Limbaugh is the voice of the Democratic Party

MyDD and Daily Kos are Pro-Mitt Romney

Richard Nixon was the Greatest President that ever lived

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Barack Obama: Future President (of Illinois)

My fellow Americans, I am writing to inform you that Barack Obama is running for President (of Illinois). I was truly enthralled by his latest ad airing in Iowa about his pragmatic history doing good for the country.

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Come on MyDD'ers, show some skepticism!

In his recent diary, NuevoLiberal writes this of John Edwards:

I believe that his grossly shifting, slick, inconsistent and highly contradictory record on the war will be a trivially easy target

In the past, NuevoLiberal has argued that McCain could whip Edwards, due to McCain's consistency on the Iraq War.  

This is so true.  McCain's foolish consistency with regard to a horribly unpopular war may be an easy target, but certainly not a trivially easy target.  

But when it comes to Democrats, NuevoLiberal is not nearly skeptical enough.  There isn't one of them who wouldn't be dogged by retrospectively dubious statements, such as this one by NuevoLiberal's top choice:

[W]e know that he has stored away secret supplies of biological weapons and chemical weapons throughout his country.
--Al Gore, Sept 23, 2002

Here an unproven - and we now know, wholly untrue - theory is posited as gospel.  And it's not just any theory - it's the very foundation of the Administration's Iraq invasion policy - and certainly the foundation of its request for the AUMF.

Why did Gore posit as true something he did not know for a fact to be true?  Wasn't he trying to have it both ways?  Wasn't he making a speech that was ostensibly against Bush, as a play to the Democratic base and Gore's supporters on the left, while at the same time showing that he was a tough-minded statesman who understood fully the dangers of the world?  (Even the dangers that didn't exist.)

I mean, can we really trust Gore?  Isn't this whole "I'm against global warming" thing just a savvy political move, like Edwards's "I'm against poverty" thing.  My guess?  Gore has little interest in stopping global warming, and Edwards has little interest in ending poverty.  Oh sure, they speak out passionately on these issues. They promote their so-called ideas, like Edwards's "plan" to help increase primary education in the world's poorest countries. Edwards has announced his "goal" to eradicate poverty in America in 30 years, and he has described in some detail his "specific policies" on how to do this. And he's called for a "benchmark" of reducing poverty by one-third over 10 years, as a way to - get this! - "measure" the effectiveness of these policies.

Clever, clever politicians, that's all they are. My guess? Gore LIKES global warming, and Edwards LOVES poverty.

Politicians like this make me SICK.

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Hey Chris, we need a Comment Menu!

Wow--honest to goodness, smart MyDD meta. I never thought I would see the day! Funny stuff. I'd make sure to add several more comments questioning the motives of anyone disagreeing with you--Chris

It's kind of a hassle to have to write the same old comments over and over.

So I'm thinking...why not have a pull-down menu that we could select a comment from?

I'll take a number 32, please!

Suggested Items for the Comment Menu:

1. It's no mystery why Clinton is leading in the polls - people LIKE Clinton.

2. I seriously don't know anybody who likes Clinton.

3. Edwards is clearly the most progressive of the big three.

4. Edwards is actually the least progressive of the big three.

5. Obama has the least substance.

6. Obama has the most substance.

7. Gore would make the best president.

8. We must draft Gore.

9. Clark would make the best president.

10. Get over it, neither Gore nor Clark will run.

11. Richardson is the one to watch.

12. Above all, we must STOP Clinton.

13. Why do so many of you hate Clinton?

14. Why do so many of you hate Obama?  

15. Edwards, Edwards, Edwards!  Why so many diaries about Edwards?

16. Clinton has surged even further ahead in the latest poll.

17. Edwards supporters are cranky because he's third in the polls.

18. Edwards is third in the polls because the MSM won't focus on substance.

19.  Edwards is tied with Obama in the polls.

20.  Clinton has fallen in the polls.

21. Obama has gone up in the polls.

22. Obama has fallen in the polls.

23. THAT poll is an outlier.

24. Chill, these early polls don't mean anything.

25. These early polls DO mean something.

26. Clinton has the highest unfavorable rating.

27. People find Obama's message the most appealing.

28. Obama's message hurts Democrats.

29. Obama's rhetoric is empty.

30. I don't trust Edwards.

31. I don't trust Clinton.

32. Come on, they're all great candidates. Stop bashing them!

33. You're naive...NONE of them are great candidates.

34.  YOU'RE the naive one.

35. You're abusing the ratings system.

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Gore on the Hill: Distinguished Friends and Colleagues (Satire)

This is how the joint House committees got started today with Al Gore (at least, as best as I can remember it)...

Rep. Dingell: The chair recognizes the distinguished ranking member Mr. Barton.

Rep. Barton: Parliamentary inquiry.

Rep. Dingell: The chair will hear the inquiry.

Rep. Barton: It seems to me that our distinguished guest and speaker has not followed, to the letter, the long standing rules of this committee stating that before entering the building, said guest must turn around three times, recite a passage from The Principia, hop on one leg and spit. Why has our guest not been held to the same standard as...

Rep. Dingell: The chair thanks his distinguished friend and colleague and informs him, kindly, that the chair has prerogative to fudge things here and there, and the chair has chosen to implement that fudging privilege.

Rep. Barton: Parliamentary inquiry.

Rep. Dingell: The chair recognizes my distinguished and handsome friend and colleague.

Rep. Barton: I am certain that our distinguished and only slightly pudgy guest has neglected to allow us to shave his eyebrows while the distinguished guest sleeps, to be followed by dipping our former colleague's hand in a glass of water, causing our guest to relieve himself while still in a state of slumber, causing great joviality for the committee, as well as much pointing.

Rep. Dingell: The chair responds thusly.


Rep. Barton: Sir?

Rep. Dingell: Chairs can't talk.

Rep. Barton: Ah.

Rep. Dingell: But seriously, the chair responds my saying that he is the chair and can muck about with the rules any way he wants to and in addition la la la la chairs can't hear you.

Rep. Barton:
So noted.

Rep. Dingell: And now I would like to introduce, for the purpose of introducing our distinguished guest, an introduction of my distinguished friend and colleague, the co-chairman of the sub-committee's joint select committee on the chairing of committees in joint operation with the congressional commission on committee chairs and their jointure-ship with other distinguished chairs of oversight on committee chairmanships' ways and means and ways of meaning of life, the universe, and my distinguished friend and colleague's committee.

Rep. Gordon: I'm sorry, what?

Rep. Dingell: Bring on Mr. Enviro-guy

Rep. Gordon: Right.


Rep. Gordon: Former Vice-President-Senator-Congressman-Quasi -President-Mahatma Albert Gore, Jr. is my constituent now, and he gave me his old congressional seat, in a box, with a bow.  My daughter's having a birthday today, and I'm going to give her this congressional seat for a present, thereby "re-gifting" Mr. Gore's gift to me, continuing in the proud tradition of democracy.  I hope our distinguished uber-guest does not mind. Mr. Gore?

Gore: Mr. Chairman, I would like to thank...

Rep. Barton: Parliamentary inquiry.

Rep. Dingell: The chair recognizes my abortive colleague with the stupid grin.

Rep. Barton: Move to recess for lunch and bribe-taking.

Rep. Dingell: Without objection?

Gore: Well, I...

Rep. Dingell: The motion is passed. Load up, suckers.



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