Barack Obama Wants To Blow Up The Middle East

Dear Stupid American Voters,

Barack Obama has VOWED that if he were the President of the United States, he would bomb every Middle Eastern nation on the planet except for Israel, of course. He said it all in a speech that I didn't bother to read . I just heard Pakistan and Al Qaeda and Osama Bin Laden and Kill and I drew the conclusion on my own. Now, I am a very credible analyst because I just am and everyone should listen to me.

I know smart people and I'm smart too. So, when I say that Barack Obama is going to bomb the Middle East and force our precious Troops, yes our Troops to bomb the Middle east, you should believe me. Now, don't read his actual speech because that will just confuse you. Just trust what I tell you because I am the smart one and you are just a stupid idiot. You are sheep. You are nothing without me telling you what you are. You have to listen to me. Please, for your own sake, don't read Barack Obamas speech. Just let me tell you what you need to know.

Bottom line is , Barack Obama is going to send every single American to the Middle East and he's going to make all of us kill the people. Yes. It's scary. It's very scary. We will be conducting a poll on this later and we show you that the American people do not want this. There will be overwhelming evidence in our polls that show that what we are saying about Barack Obama, is true and that they don't want to be drafted over seas and that they don't want to have to ration for food and that they don't want to live in war.

Sincerely,

The Media

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Candidate Diary Commenting Rules Part II

The first presidential primary is still more than 5 months away, but around here it may as well be next week.  If you're new to mydd one of the first things you will probably notice is all of the presidential candidate diaries.  If you're a long time veteran around here, then you must have noticed the geometric increase of candidate diaries.  It's been quite a flood.  People either promoting their favorite candidate, or bashing their least favored or posting horse race information and analysis.  In either case, if you're planning on joining in on the fun there are some rules that you need to follow. For now I'm just going to go over the rules for commenting.  This diary will cover commenting on primary polling diaries(that is, diaries that contain polling information and analysis only).  Please see Part I for rules on commenting in promotion diaries. If you haven't read it, you should, or else this diary won't make much sense.  Also, I'll post a candidate diary diary[sic] rules soon.

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Candidate Diary Commenting Rules

The first presidential primary is still more than 5 months away, but around here it may as well be next week.  If you're new to mydd one of the first things you will probably notice is all of the presidential candidate diaries.  If you're a long time veteran around here, then you must have noticed the geometric increase of candidate diaries.  It's been quite a flood.  People either promoting their favorite candidate, or bashing their least favored or posting horse race information and analysis.  In either case, if you're planning on joining in on the fun there are some rules that you need to follow. For now I'm just going to go over the rules for commenting.  I'll post a candidate diary diary[sic] rules soon.

All of these rules are based on my recent observations.  I don't know what happens if you break these rules, but that's because i've never seen anyone do it. Therefore, I assume that the punishment has to be bad.  Like forced-to-look-at-pictures-of-Dick-Chene y-naked bad.  That or some other torture that violates "quaint" geneva convention treaties.

Before going further, it will be easier to learn the commenting rules when you figure out where you stand in the Presidential primary standings, or, as I like to call it, your posting personality.  This is because, depending on who you are supporting, your commenting rules vary. So if you figure it out now, you don't have to learn as many rules on commenting in the candidate diaries.(Work smarter, not harder!)

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Congress Outsourcing Prez

This is a satire chain letter which I received via e-mail.  I do not know who the author is and thus cannot give it attribution.  I hope that you all enjoy it as much as I did.

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Everybody Have a Laugh Tonight

I think it is time for a lighthearted mood here, folks.  So I will take my shot at a little comedy, and just see if it gives you a few laughs.  I was going to get my haircut today, but I didn't want to spend 400 dollars.  Now I shouldn't have to, but given the nastiness of some supporters of some candidates (myself included) I was beginning to think that if I got a cheap haircut, I wasn't supporting Edwards and was helping the enemy, because if I were to get a cheap haircut I would be buying into rightwing frames about liberal elitism and expensive hedge funds, I mean houses and I would be joining some kind of mind control group of Great Clips Barack Obama supporters who were not smart enough to know that their low prices fed into the Republican memes about pretty hair.  So, forced to let my hair grow until 2008, lest I inadvertenly help the enemy, I decided to purchase some quality hair product to keep my long locks looking good.  The next problem arose when I could not figure out which haircare product was blue enough.  I could not pick one that tests on animals, but I had to be sure that the stuff wasn't in an environmentally unfriendly container, either.  So now I am asking the folks at Target what I should do and they say that Wal-Mart has a better selection.  Aaaargh!  I can't shop at Wal-Mart.  Hillary was on the board at Wal-Mart helping to drive down wages while her Husband was struggling to keep from inhaling while at the same time convincing folks in Arkansas that Whitewater was going to be bought by Disney while also secretly praying to pictures of Barry Goldwater three times a day.  So Wal-Mart is out.

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