Christine O’Donnell: Dear God, Change Your Mind

During her short time on the political stage, Christine O’Donnell has generated such incredible buffoonery she could start an “All Christine, All the Time” cable channel. Rupert Murdoch might want to talk to her about it. They seem to be made for each other – a win/win of biblically crapulent, synergistic proportions.

Almost everything that comes out of Chritine’s mouth is hilarious. Sometimes it’s in a Gracie Allen bubblehead sort of  way – “Hey, I dabbled in the witchcraft. My oh my, silly old me!” Sometimes it’s in a weird Kids in the Hall sort of way – “I’ll crrrrush your head and your evil masturbating ways too!” But, she actually believes some of the gooferous stuff she says and expects the rest of us to as well.

Her latest political/religious clone of a statement rivals her contention that scientists have developed mice with human brains. After taking her campaign lumps repeatedly, and responded with a series of demonstrably untrue statements or dubious “facts”, she still hasn’t gotten the kind of uncritical, Sharron Angle-style “leave me alone and don’t embarrass me” coverage she craves – or as media-savvy Sharron says, “I only want them to ask the questions I want to answer.”

Bring Out the Big Guy

“OUCH!” It’s time to bring out the Big Guy, personal friend and savior of non-Muslim Tea Partiers and Republicans everywhere.

Christine stopped by the Christian Broadcasting Network to explain why she stays in a political race that is turning her into a laughing stock.

As often happens with religious zealots dressed in right wing, fringe-bedecked vestments, she said God didn’t wanna let her quit. “…you see that if it weren’t for faith, when all logic said it’s time to quit, we pursued, we marched on, because we knew God was not releasing us to quit,” she said, referring to herself in the third person.

Christine, you’d have been better off to stop at logic before playing the God card.

As a young man questioning my own faith, I used to think about the many inconsistencies I saw in religious dogma. For example, if two football teams prayed before a game to win, how was it possible for one team to win, the other to lose, and not question how one  got short-changed on their “faith” and fervent prayers that they would win?

My religious betters gave many reasons for this, most of them seeming  specious to me.

“Obviously, one team believed more strongly and therefore God granted them their wish,” went one explanation. “God was demonstrating that not all prayers come true, even if you fervently do your best to make them happen,” went another. When the answers I got didn’t seem to match the questions I had, I was often treated to the all-purpose, “God works in mysterious ways,” explanation.

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with believing there is no contradiction there. There’s nothing wrong with believing you got the short end of the political coverage stick – even while not considering the stupid things you’ve said. However, there is something troubling about blaming illogical decisions on God.

It’s Unfair to God
First, it’s unfair to God to put him in such a tenuous position. He has enough problems. Second, it gives you a convenient out every time something doesn’t go your way. “Hey, it wasn’t my fault. I talked to the Big Guy and he said it was OK for me to fudge my educational background“. Or, George the Lesser’s penchant for “talking to God” only to be told everything was hunky dory and he should just keep on keeping on as the country went to hell around him.

There’s a reason it’s good advice to not mix religion and politics. More often than not, one has nothing – as in Christine’s case – with the other. It’s also common that biblical explanations often doesn’t hold much sway with voters, even devoutly religious ones.  And when you say that you talked to God and he told you that it’s perfectly OK to, say, deprive Muslims of the same constitutional rights you reserve for yourself, many people are going to think your celestial cell phone needs some repair.

There is a place for religion in politics, just as there is a place for politics in the pulpit. However, in the middle of a campaign where your are partially representing yourself as God’s chosen candidate, you’re out of bounds and it’s unlikely you’ll feel the need to represent the majority of us who want to keep their politics and religion unmixed if you are elected.

Let’s just hope God changes his mind.

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

 

 

Dear Marty, The First Amendment is Not Optional

The Anti-Mosque That Ain’t a Mosque crowd seems to be going all Sharia on America’s ass. You’d think the possibility – not the certainty mind you – of building a Muslim community center amongst the strip clubs and bars of Manhattan is a worse offense than knocking the WTC down to begin with.

We have idiots closing community centers in Kentucky ostensibly for lack of parking because according to the property owner, Muslims can’t be trusted to adhere to no parking signs. Florida’s Dove World Outreach Center, a violation of truth in advertising laws if there ever was one, is reaching out to Muslims by burning Korans. Now, New Republic editor-in-chief Marty Peretz says Muslims are unworthy of First Amendment protection, presumably regardless of whether they are citizens or not.

Marty the Magnificent Sez…
Says Marty the Magnificent, “…frankly, Muslim life is cheap, most notably to Muslims. And among those Muslims led by the Imam Rauf there is hardly one who has raised a fuss about the routine and random bloodshed that defines their brotherhood. So, yes, I wonder whether I need honor these people and pretend that they are worthy of the privileges of the First Amendment which I have in my gut the sense that they will abuse.”

Gee Marty, my gut – hell, every fiber of my being – tells me you would abuse First Amendment protections too. No, wait! You already have by suggesting the First Amendment is an option like the automatic transmission on your Ford Crown Vic. The same goes for your toxic brethren like the book burning “Doves” and the spreading community of knotheads elsewhere around the country.

Marty, can you not see the irony of exercising your First Amendment rights by saying someone else should be deprived of theirs? Screeching Doves, can you not see the same by the light of your Constitutional bonfire?

Whether Muslims “raise a fuss” is their call, not yours. To speak or not to speak are both protected rights. Besides, my gut also tells me that condemning their “brotherhood” wouldn’t make one iota of difference in your opinion.

The Lonesome Doves and Tim McVey
And Lonesome Doves, would you be burning Bibles if an inbred clan of Timothy McVey wannabes had rammed the WTC with an airplane instead? I’m an atheist and I’d be quite happy if someone burned all the holy books, regardless of whatever holier than though sect dreamt them up.

But wait! No, I wouldn’t! I believe in the First Amendment.

It isn’t optional because I despise you and what you’re saying. It isn’t optional because some lunkhead’s book isn’t as holy as you believe yours is. It isn’t optional because your gut tells you they don’t value human life. It isn’t optional because they are Muslim, Baptist, or Druid nor because some of their members were bat shit crazy and wanted to kill people for things like, gee, I dunno, disrespecting the Koran (see David Petraeus). In this country, people can say what they want and worship or not worship as they see fit – despite cockamamie faux “wars on Christmas” or people being gay in the privacy of their own homes or carbuncles on the ass of humanity who think their shit is infinitely less odoriferous than others are.

THE FIRST AMENDMENT IS NOT OPTIONAL!

…and the day it becomes so is the day we lose the privilege of calling ourselves American.

 

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

 

 

 

Dear Marty, The First Amendment is Not Optional

The Anti-Mosque That Ain’t a Mosque crowd seems to be going all Sharia on America’s ass. You’d think the possibility – not the certainty mind you – of building a Muslim community center amongst the strip clubs and bars of Manhattan is a worse offense than knocking the WTC down to begin with.

We have idiots closing community centers in Kentucky ostensibly for lack of parking because according to the property owner, Muslims can’t be trusted to adhere to no parking signs. Florida’s Dove World Outreach Center, a violation of truth in advertising laws if there ever was one, is reaching out to Muslims by burning Korans. Now, New Republic editor-in-chief Marty Peretz says Muslims are unworthy of First Amendment protection, presumably regardless of whether they are citizens or not.

Marty the Magnificent Sez…
Says Marty the Magnificent, “…frankly, Muslim life is cheap, most notably to Muslims. And among those Muslims led by the Imam Rauf there is hardly one who has raised a fuss about the routine and random bloodshed that defines their brotherhood. So, yes, I wonder whether I need honor these people and pretend that they are worthy of the privileges of the First Amendment which I have in my gut the sense that they will abuse.”

Gee Marty, my gut – hell, every fiber of my being – tells me you would abuse First Amendment protections too. No, wait! You already have by suggesting the First Amendment is an option like the automatic transmission on your Ford Crown Vic. The same goes for your toxic brethren like the book burning “Doves” and the spreading community of knotheads elsewhere around the country.

Marty, can you not see the irony of exercising your First Amendment rights by saying someone else should be deprived of theirs? Screeching Doves, can you not see the same by the light of your Constitutional bonfire?

Whether Muslims “raise a fuss” is their call, not yours. To speak or not to speak are both protected rights. Besides, my gut also tells me that condemning their “brotherhood” wouldn’t make one iota of difference in your opinion.

The Lonesome Doves and Tim McVey
And Lonesome Doves, would you be burning Bibles if an inbred clan of Timothy McVey wannabes had rammed the WTC with an airplane instead? I’m an atheist and I’d be quite happy if someone burned all the holy books, regardless of whatever holier than though sect dreamt them up.

But wait! No, I wouldn’t! I believe in the First Amendment.

It isn’t optional because I despise you and what you’re saying. It isn’t optional because some lunkhead’s book isn’t as holy as you believe yours is. It isn’t optional because your gut tells you they don’t value human life. It isn’t optional because they are Muslim, Baptist, or Druid nor because some of their members were bat shit crazy and wanted to kill people for things like, gee, I dunno, disrespecting the Koran (see David Petraeus). In this country, people can say what they want and worship or not worship as they see fit – despite cockamamie faux “wars on Christmas” or people being gay in the privacy of their own homes or carbuncles on the ass of humanity who think their shit is infinitely less odoriferous than others are.

THE FIRST AMENDMENT IS NOT OPTIONAL!

…and the day it becomes so is the day we lose the privilege of calling ourselves American.

 

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

 

 

 

Dear Marty, The First Amendment is Not Optional

The Anti-Mosque That Ain’t a Mosque crowd seems to be going all Sharia on America’s ass. You’d think the possibility – not the certainty mind you – of building a Muslim community center amongst the strip clubs and bars of Manhattan is a worse offense than knocking the WTC down to begin with.

We have idiots closing community centers in Kentucky ostensibly for lack of parking because according to the property owner, Muslims can’t be trusted to adhere to no parking signs. Florida’s Dove World Outreach Center, a violation of truth in advertising laws if there ever was one, is reaching out to Muslims by burning Korans. Now, New Republic editor-in-chief Marty Peretz says Muslims are unworthy of First Amendment protection, presumably regardless of whether they are citizens or not.

Marty the Magnificent Sez…
Says Marty the Magnificent, “…frankly, Muslim life is cheap, most notably to Muslims. And among those Muslims led by the Imam Rauf there is hardly one who has raised a fuss about the routine and random bloodshed that defines their brotherhood. So, yes, I wonder whether I need honor these people and pretend that they are worthy of the privileges of the First Amendment which I have in my gut the sense that they will abuse.”

Gee Marty, my gut – hell, every fiber of my being – tells me you would abuse First Amendment protections too. No, wait! You already have by suggesting the First Amendment is an option like the automatic transmission on your Ford Crown Vic. The same goes for your toxic brethren like the book burning “Doves” and the spreading community of knotheads elsewhere around the country.

Marty, can you not see the irony of exercising your First Amendment rights by saying someone else should be deprived of theirs? Screeching Doves, can you not see the same by the light of your Constitutional bonfire?

Whether Muslims “raise a fuss” is their call, not yours. To speak or not to speak are both protected rights. Besides, my gut also tells me that condemning their “brotherhood” wouldn’t make one iota of difference in your opinion.

The Lonesome Doves and Tim McVey
And Lonesome Doves, would you be burning Bibles if an inbred clan of Timothy McVey wannabes had rammed the WTC with an airplane instead? I’m an atheist and I’d be quite happy if someone burned all the holy books, regardless of whatever holier than though sect dreamt them up.

But wait! No, I wouldn’t! I believe in the First Amendment.

It isn’t optional because I despise you and what you’re saying. It isn’t optional because some lunkhead’s book isn’t as holy as you believe yours is. It isn’t optional because your gut tells you they don’t value human life. It isn’t optional because they are Muslim, Baptist, or Druid nor because some of their members were bat shit crazy and wanted to kill people for things like, gee, I dunno, disrespecting the Koran (see David Petraeus). In this country, people can say what they want and worship or not worship as they see fit – despite cockamamie faux “wars on Christmas” or people being gay in the privacy of their own homes or carbuncles on the ass of humanity who think their shit is infinitely less odoriferous than others are.

THE FIRST AMENDMENT IS NOT OPTIONAL!

…and the day it becomes so is the day we lose the privilege of calling ourselves American.

 

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

 

 

 

Time to counter hate and intolerance

Today, Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin are speaking at the same place Martin Luther King gave his historic speech. Meanwhile, the continued elevated controversy over the so called “ground-zero mosque” is evidence little has changed since 9/11. Time to counter hate and intolerance.

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