Why Russ Feingold is not Running for President: A Play in One Act

Scene 1

Lights up on Senator Russ Feingold in his office.  He picks up his phone, dials, and waits.

Lights up on Senator Barack Obama in his office, walking to his phone. He picks it up.

Obama: Hello.

Feingold: Hey, Barack, it's Russ.

Obama: Hey, Russ, what's up?

Feingold: Not much, not much.  What's up with you?

Obama: Not a lot. Busy week, you know.

Feingold: Sure, sure. (pause) So, we had a great night Tuesday, huh?

Obama: Sure did. It's really exciting.

Feingold: It sure is. (longer pause) So...um...you're gonna run.  Aren't you.

Obama: Yeah.

Feingold: Okay, thanks, buddy.

Hangs up

Scene 2

Lights up on interview between Feingold and a reporter.

Reporter: So, why have you decided not to run for president?

Feingold: Oh, you know, having too much fun being a senator!


If you like this post, I hope you'll take a second and Digg it.  I'd really appreciate it!

- Qshio

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Inspiring candidates

I couldn't agree more about the importance of "inspiration" when considering candidates to support. Although a long shot because of his recent rise to the national political stage, my analysis of Jim  Webb over just the last few weeks leads me to an early conclusion that he has the potential to fall into this category of candidate - for example; courageous military hero, historian, author, intellectual, and a person who has a keen understanding of, and passion for, the ordinary individual.

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Reprinted from The Satirical Political Report http://satiricalpolitical.com

On the eve of the midterm elections, Bush has announced that Iraq is reconstituting its programs of WMD, "based on nucular technology ... from America, and therefore requires a re-invasion of Iraq."

Bush went out of his way to thank Republican Congressman Peter Hoekstra (rhymes with "schnookster") for creating this development, by his insistence on posting thousands of classified documents from the Iraqi Gulf-War era on an official Government website.

Bush also dismissed any notion that he would fire Donald Rumsfeld, despite an editorial calling for Rumsfeld's head by The Army Times, asserting that "you go with the Defense Secretary who screwed everything up, not one that's competent."

CONTINUED at: http://satiricalpolitical.com/?p=397

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It's All About Transition

It has been almost two years since political pundits and insiders started speculating as to who will make a bid for the Presidency in 2008. Now that midterm elections are less than a week away, several nominees have been highlighted, and the media is focusing on every possible candidate to determine who has what it takes to be the next great American President. Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton both experienced cover-story treatments from Time. John McCain and Rudy Giuliani are being thrown around conservative radio and equally hyped by several news magnets as the top GOP contenders. Even Michael Bloomberg, the Republicratic mayor of New York City, is being touted as a highly viable third party candidate in the realm of H. Ross Perot. Whatever the case may be, we will have a new President in 2008, one who will stray from the Bush Administration and begin a new era in American politics. Or at least that's what many want to believe.

The fact of the matter is, folks, I highly doubt 2008 will bring us the next great American president, as many are hoping for. More likely, we will experience a transition presidency, one which will last for one term, leading us into a possible two-term presidency occupied by a great leader of sorts.

The major candidates have their flaws. In fact, out of the 13 speculated Democrats and 12 speculated Republicans, each of them have just as many flaws as they do positives added to their records. John McCain, whom many see as a great moderate, will be incredibly old at the end of his first term. At the age of 76, one would wonder whether or not he could successfully continue his Presidency, assuming he doesn't kick the bucket in his first four years. Rudy Guiliani is incredibly abrasive, and, assuming he even gets the nomination let alone the win, he will probably battle Congress the majority of his term since he is incredibly ambiguous on his political stance. Mayor of New York City doesn't necessarily equate to Presidential material, and it does not show how he would be able to deal with the legislative branch of the United States government. Something tells me his first term would be filled with quips, accusations and, ultimately, some sort of scandal. That is just based on his record as mayor of New York City alone. Moving to the Democrats, if Hillary gets the nomination and the win, she will probably be stuck fighting Congress and her toughest critics, and will be left trying to pamper her polarizing image rather than achieving anything of real merit. Most other Democrats would be in the same position, except for Barack Obama, who I doubt would be able to get the nomination due to his lack of political experience.

Of course, this transition theory doesn't necessarily equal a bad thing. In 2012, there will be a larger field of contenders who could perhaps change the face of American politics. My vote goes for Eliot Spitzer, the soon-to-be Governor of New York, who will probably be as tough-as-nails in the Governor's mansion as he was Attorney General in the Empire State. Additionally, Barack Obama will be four years wiser and four years more experienced. I, of course, am a Democrat, and while hoping for a Republican win in 2008 seems like madness, I do wish we could get someone as painless as McCain or Giuliani in office mainly because they would not win re-election (if they choose to seek it). If Bloomberg wins by some "Man of the Year"-like voting error, he would be gone as well, mostly because the Democrats and the Republicans would launch an expensive, extensive assault against the man. (This transition theory does have a loophole: An Obama VP could eventually lead to an Obama-Spitzer ticket, so perhaps a [Democratic Candidate]-Obama 08 win would change my mind).

Of course, I in no way wish the continuation of a misbegotten Republican rule over our country. This is only political theory, and an argument that the worst case scenario may turn out for the best.

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Where were you the day democracy died? Well the field can tell you where he was: At work, just like any other day in a typical middle of the work week. And like millions of other Americans, I must confess, I had no idea it was happening and, I am ashamed of myself for not knowing. As a lawyer, I should have seen it coming and I did not. I was too busy with my own life and selfish pursuits, too busy watching the salacious and sexy stories that news organizations like to shove down our throats. -Lately, it's been all Foley all the time in the news- Sprinkle that in with the usual daily killings in Iraq, the occasional animal who takes out multiple people in a killing spree, and the Dow flirting with 12000; and well, you get the picture. All this turned my thoughts away from the most important news story happening before my very eyes: The hijacking of a government and the freedoms it's citizens are supposed to enjoy.

So lets talk about H.R. 6166, or as it is affectionately called, "The Military Commissions Act of 2006." By signing this act on that infamous day, October 17, 2006, frat boy essentially did away with nine out of our ten freedoms clarified in the Bill of Rights, and also abolished habeas corpus. I bet many of the congressmen that voted for this act didn't even read it. Folks, we are now living in very dangerous times, and the marching you hear outside are the brown shirts coming to get you. This act gives our leader and his secretary of defense, the right to set up a tribunal of their choosing, and to review whether you, Joe Citizen, is an "enemy combatant" or not.

Don't believe me? Read Section 948 d. subsection (c) of the Act. When speaking of who declares an "enemy combatant"; it says, a Combatant Status Review Tribunal or the President or Secretary of Defense. Feel better now? Yes my friends, the President , as the Commander in chief, is given authority under title 10, of the U.S. code section 3 (a) to do this. There is a gentleman named Alex Jones, who won the 2004 Project Censored Award for his analysis of the Patriot Act 2. This gentleman, said, that this bill is smilier to Hitler's 1933 Enabling act. And Yale law professor, Bruce Ackerman, wrote a blistering attack of this act for the L.A. Times. So along with taking away your right to know the evidence against you, and locking you up for an indefinite amount of time-remember no habeas corpus-, this act also gives the president the right to use hearsay evidence gotten by torture against you. Yes I said torture. You see under U.S. code title 8 section 2340, torture now has a very broad definition, and lacks the specifics of say the Geneva convention. Now I know torture is a relative thing. Heck, torture to me might be being forced to 24 hours of Toby Keith Cd's, or being locked in a room with Dick Cheyney, and George Allen. But I think we all can agree that pulling someones finger nails out until he passes out from the pain, and reviving him and pulling out the another one is torture. Not under the Bush plan. To them, it's all so subjective, such a gray area with this torture thing.

Now what's really scary about this act, is that it applies to all U.S. citizens. Yes, all of us! Don't listen to the kool aid drinkers and brown shirt brigade people who will try to tell you that; this only applies to foreigners. Yeah right, just like the wire tap laws did. No folks this little act applies to all of us. According to another law professor, Marty Lederman, subsection (ii) of the definition of "unlawful enemy combatant" means if the Pentagon says that you are an unlawful enemy combatant using whatever standard they wish, then according to Congress and this act, you are one. Heck, according to this Act, the legislation's legality cannot be challenged by the Supreme Court or any U.S. Court. In essence , it takes away the powers of the federal courts to consider any petitions for writ of habeas corpus on anyones behalf. Isn't this little Act brilliant? Now King George can detain any damn "enemy combatant" he wants. Anyone. Think about that for a minute: The New York Times reporters; enemy combatants, NBC reporters; enemy combatants, CBS reporters; enemy combatants, Daily Kos posters; enemy combatants; get the picture? The only media outlet that we would be allowed to watch or listen to is FAKE NEWS. I can see Tony Snowjob now: really folks, FAKE NEWS is not that bad, give it a chance.

You gotta be kidding me. But how did it come to this? What the f^&% were we as citizens thinking to let this happen on our watch? No outrage, no outcry, no major media outlet pressing the issue and demanding accountability and answers. Where is Jessie, and Al, and all the usual suspects? Oh that's right, no race or money involved, so I guess they will sit this one out. As if there could be anything more important than our individual freedoms and liberties? And before I forget, I would like to thank Keith Olberman, for having the balls to stand up to frat boy and his Nazi like draconian act. His commentary last night should be in the Smithsonian, and every other journalist in this country should be ashamed of themselves. Not to mention those cowards from the democratic party on capitol hill, who, as election season gets into full gear, are more concerned with getting reelected than standing up for our democracy.

So October 17,2006, like May 11,1981, will be significant dates for all the wrong reasons. The former was when my freedom died, and the later when my music died. Marley's dying was tragic, but his music lives on, and I can still rock to Bob when I want to. My freedom, on the other hand, I will never get back, and I fear the day that our President decides that only "enemy combatants" listen to Marley. After all, his lyrics are so...well... revolutionary..."I shot the sheriff..", or "chase those crazy bald heads out of town" dem are fighting words. The next thing you know, everyone will be listening to this Marley, we embolden the enemy by listening to that stuff. All that advocating of third world causes and imploring people to stand up for their rights. Before you know it, the jihadist will be embracing Rastafarians, and Halle Selassie will take the place of Allah as their spiritual leader. Ok so maybe frat boy wouldn't go that far, but you never know. Think Dixie Chicks here folks. I saw Professor Jonathan Turly on Olberman's show, and Turly, a man I respect, looked scared. You could tell he knew and had thought out some angles to this act that we have not yet considered. So that definitely got my attention if nothing else did, because we are not talking a bunch of partisan yo yos here; we are talking legal scholars who should know this sh*# is fowl when they see it. And guess what, they are crying foul!

Finally, let me say this: I know here in America we have a tendency to be so caught up in our own lives and every day bull sh*& and minutia that the real important stuff gets lost in the shuffle. Smart politicians and people who like to take things from you, -the average American- when you aren't looking, know that. And as long as they have their 33% base to go along with them, they will get away with it, because, after all, you ain't watching. Well don't let them get away with it. This time, vote the bums out. It's too late to stop the Act now, frat boy put his mont blanc on that bad boy days ago. But now we must check him, and we must make sure that he never abuses it as long as he is in office. Hopefully, more people like Keith Olberman will step up and let the frat boy know, that we are not only listening to Marley and watching the latest videos from Blockbuster, but we are watching and listening to his ass too.

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