TOP TEN QUESTIONS POLLSTERS REALLY SHOULD ASK

Is there anything more maddening than those senseless and superficial poll questions, that are guaranteed to elicit responses that are not only misleading, but skewed to the right? Well, here's a suggested Top Ten list of poll questions that would really tell it like it is:

10. If your own son was drafted to serve in Iraq, would you favor "cut and run," or "sprint like Willie Horton being chased by the Klan?"

9. If Bush required you to pay more taxes to finance the Iraqi war, which timetable for withdrawal would you support: 3 to 5 years, or the 6:44 out of Fallujah?

8. Would you back Bush's warrantless spying on international communications, if he was monitoring your phone-sex calls to Hot Nymphs in the Netherlands?

7. How would you feel about prayer in the schools -- if Muslims just obtained a majority on your local school board?

CONTINUE READING at: http://satiricalpolitical.com/?p=306

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DUBYA AT THE BAT (Will Bush Do Any Better Than Casey?)

The outlook wasn't brilliant, for the GOP on election day
The polls showed loss of Congress, what with Iraq, and Foley gay
And when Allen got "Macaca'd," and Santorum blew PA
Republicans were so desperate, they fell on their knees to pray

Evangelicals were staying home, suffering loss of faith
But some hoped for worldly wonder, beyond the current eighth
They thought, "If Dubya could just jawbone, of terror and tax cuts"
We'd put up even money now, that we won't take it up the butts

But Cheney preceded Dubya, as did also SECDEF Rummy
And the former was a war criminal, while the latter was a dummy
So upon that stricken multitude, with all their campaign cash
There seemed but little chance of Dubya, getting to talk his trash

CONTINUED AT: http://satiricalpolitical.com/?p=289

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AN OPEN LETTER TO EVANGELICALS, FROM A NEW YORK LIBERAL JEW

Editor's Note: Recently, the Rev. Jerry Falwell sent out an email to Christian evangelicals, urging them to support GOP candidates in the upcoming midterms. For a "fair and balanced" response, we here at The Satirical Political Report believe that those good Christians are entitled to hear both sides of the story, and should consider other options, such as sitting this one out as a protest vote. Here then is our case to the faithful:

Alright, you marching-backward Christian soldiers. So you're still hung up on the notion that we killed your Lord Savior (never mind that he was a socialist Jewish Rabbi). But the Chosen People are willing to get past 2000 years of persecution at your hands, so let's it call it even and move on -- (no, not MoveOn.org). After all, Clemens pitched for the Yankees, so anything is possible.

Listen, I know you guys are prepared to turn out in huge numbers next week to back your boy Bush and the GOP Congress. But maybe, just maybe, you should reconsider that rash decision, and just sit this one out.

Let's take a minute to look at the record, shall we:

CONTINUE READING at: http://satiricalpolitical.com/?p=385

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MyDD: Still Carrying the Load

Ellen O. Tauscher (CA-10) decided to do a preemptive counterattack against the left-wing of the Democratic Party the week before the elections. Maybe she is trying to reassure Boeing, Wal-Mart, and Pfizer that the new wave of Democrats will be every bit the lap-dogs of their industries that Tom DeLay and the K Street project have been. Maybe she is just a stupid person. But we don't need this fight right now. Here Is what she said.

Representative Ellen O. Tauscher of California, a co-chairwoman of the 47-member New Democrat Coalition, said that 27 of the top 40 contested House seats were being pursued by Democrats who have pledged to become members of the group, which says its chief issues are national security and fiscal responsibility.

"I think there's tremendous agreement and awareness that getting the majority and running over the left cliff is what our Republican opponents would dearly love," Ms. Tauscher said, adding that this was something "we've got to fight."

That set Matt Stoller off here. And then Chris Bowers went off here and here.

They are not so much overreacting as they are stepping on this week's message. I am reminded of a Buddhist aphorism. A young monk and an old monk come to a stream where an attractive young lady is crying. Her leg has been badly injured and she cannot forge across the stream. The young monk says that they are prohibited from touching a woman and that he is sorry but they cannot help her. The old monk says, "Get on my back", and helps her across the stream. After the woman goes on her way, the young monk is outraged and asks the old monk how he could have done such a thing. The old monk turns to the young monk and says, "I have already put her down and you are still carrying her."

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PA-7: Sestak endorsed by DelcoTimes, Phila. Inquirer

Today's Delaware County Daily Times endorsement of Joe Sestak over Curt WeldonToday's Delaware County Daily Times endorsement of Joe Sestak over Curt Weldon is a bit of a shocker, given that Weldon has been a favorite son of the Delco Times for awhile. Just a few weeks ago, the shortly after the FBI raids on Oct 21, in the Times' Darts and Laurels section (written by the editors) said: "LAUREL: To U.S. Rep. Curt Weldon. Nothing much else has gone right for him this week. Yes, the timing of the probe stinks. But it is what it is. Hang in there, Curt."

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Diaries

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