Bryan Fischer: Talking the God Talk Not Walking the God Walk

The American Family Association’s resident knothead, Bryan Fischer, is no stranger to controversy. His claims are so odd and his beliefs so narrow, I can never quite decide if he’s a run of the mill crapweasel or an exceptionally smooth manipulator of his flock’s built-in fears and prejudices. Either way, he’s quite convincing. I guess I’ll stick with the former and not the latter. So it’s settled, he’s a run of the mill crapweasel.

Fischer posits in a recent blog post that, “poverty has won”. I’m actually with him on that one. Any random chart about the rapidly growing gap between the haves and have nots is clear on that point – even for a man with the perception of your average tree stump. However, its Fischer’s interpretation of those random charts that’s so troubling and his prescriptions so off the mark.

In Fischer’s eyes, poverty is a wacky sort of socialist plot, “We need more people in public office who think like Christ and fewer people who think like Karl Marx,” he advises. I’m with him there too and I’m an atheist!

However, if he’s not so hot on Karl, he’s even less so on African-Americans in a decidedly less than Christian way.

Suckling the Government Tit
Fischer says welfare has trashed the African-American family with incentives for literally screwing like rabbits to glom onto the juicy, government tit. “It’s no wonder we are now awash in the disastrous social consequences of people who rut like rabbits,” he said. According to him, the bunnies should be getting married instead.

Fischer knows whence he speaks about marriage. He knows that homosexuals can’t do it lest the Republic fall. He knows wives should always obey and submit to their husbands. He knows that BJs do not a good marriage make. And the married darkies? They’re just raising Easter bunnies in the hood to steal tax dollars.

But unlike his unparalleled knowledge of marriage, the Assistant Messiah™ doesn’t know sh*t from shinola about the rest of the world.

Bryan, just a few notes for your sleeve the next time you take the Holier Than Thou Grad School test. Don’t worry, a little cheating is OK as long as it’s for Jesus – it’s the 11th Commandment, “It be OK for the holy to use crib notes.”

Many of those rutters are married rabbits – the straight ones anyway. They went down to the local padre and tied the knot. And wouldn’t you know it, the next day their poverty parted like the befouled Red Sea. Go ahead, ask one. He’ll tell you all about it.

And it’s not just the blacks Bryan. All white people are pious and married and full of the bounty of Christ, if you can call their poverty a bounty. And the brown folk? Why all of them are in the running to helm ConAgra instead of just pick veggies for them. Damn, how that God stuff works! You think blacks are just like all the other poor people except even more so – an impediment to the spread of the gospel and tax cuts.

I’m going out on a limb here, but I’d wager he knows as much about poverty as he does about Jesus, which is to say not much. On the other hand, I know a little something about it.

My grandparents lived in abject poverty. Without exaggeration, their house looked like Snuffy Smith’s. The only advantage it had over a cardboard box was a deed somewhere. It left them free to use the back room for kindling, which is exactly what they did one particularly bad winter. Freezing isn’t much of an option when you can’t get out in hip-deep snow to chop wood. They probably used the deed to start the fire too. Yet my grandparents were married, one grueling day after another for nearly 50 years. And poverty was an unwelcome house guest for every damn one of them.

Controlling Asscakes Like You
Oh BTW, they were white. And they faithfully went to church. And they prayed many times a day, but God must’ve been busy trying to control asscakes like you.

They didn’t take a dime of the government’s money – partly because they were too uneducated to figure out how. Yet, they plugged along, rutted some, and ate the rabbit for dinner, because what they hunted wasn’t for sport. It was what saved them from starvation – no miraculous 3 loaves and fishes for them, just a gruelish stew of rabbit sans loaves (because they couldn’t afford flour) and fishes (because the streams were all toxic from unregulated coal mines).

Do some African-American families choose to let their families go all to hell? Yup, but so do whites and Latinos and even members of churches. However, many of them are married and the problem persists. Just as many aren’t married, but somehow manage to do right by their families despite bigger obstacles than the AFA braves over a 3-martini lunch with a grifter politician who prefers to buy votes than work for them. And they do it with a little help from Uncle Sam. That seems like a fair trade for companies working some poor bastard to death at 3 jobs because there isn’t anything else. Just a little unexpected, indirect corporate welfare.

Should people who have abandoned their families man-up and take responsibility? YES! Will poverty for most of them stop by following your golden rules, don’t bet on it.

See Bryan, poverty knows no color. It’s an equal opportunity scourge. Growling bellies know no race.  Red or yellow, black or white, poverty is poverty. Perhaps you’d do well to remember the last line of the little ditty:

“Jesus loves the little children of the world.”

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

 

Bryan Fischer: Talking the God Talk Not Walking the God Walk

The American Family Association’s resident knothead, Bryan Fischer, is no stranger to controversy. His claims are so odd and his beliefs so narrow, I can never quite decide if he’s a run of the mill crapweasel or an exceptionally smooth manipulator of his flock’s built-in fears and prejudices. Either way, he’s quite convincing. I guess I’ll stick with the former and not the latter. So it’s settled, he’s a run of the mill crapweasel.

Fischer posits in a recent blog post that, “poverty has won”. I’m actually with him on that one. Any random chart about the rapidly growing gap between the haves and have nots is clear on that point – even for a man with the perception of your average tree stump. However, its Fischer’s interpretation of those random charts that’s so troubling and his prescriptions so off the mark.

In Fischer’s eyes, poverty is a wacky sort of socialist plot, “We need more people in public office who think like Christ and fewer people who think like Karl Marx,” he advises. I’m with him there too and I’m an atheist!

However, if he’s not so hot on Karl, he’s even less so on African-Americans in a decidedly less than Christian way.

Suckling the Government Tit
Fischer says welfare has trashed the African-American family with incentives for literally screwing like rabbits to glom onto the juicy, government tit. “It’s no wonder we are now awash in the disastrous social consequences of people who rut like rabbits,” he said. According to him, the bunnies should be getting married instead.

Fischer knows whence he speaks about marriage. He knows that homosexuals can’t do it lest the Republic fall. He knows wives should always obey and submit to their husbands. He knows that BJs do not a good marriage make. And the married darkies? They’re just raising Easter bunnies in the hood to steal tax dollars.

But unlike his unparalleled knowledge of marriage, the Assistant Messiah™ doesn’t know sh*t from shinola about the rest of the world.

Bryan, just a few notes for your sleeve the next time you take the Holier Than Thou Grad School test. Don’t worry, a little cheating is OK as long as it’s for Jesus – it’s the 11th Commandment, “It be OK for the holy to use crib notes.”

Many of those rutters are married rabbits – the straight ones anyway. They went down to the local padre and tied the knot. And wouldn’t you know it, the next day their poverty parted like the befouled Red Sea. Go ahead, ask one. He’ll tell you all about it.

And it’s not just the blacks Bryan. All white people are pious and married and full of the bounty of Christ, if you can call their poverty a bounty. And the brown folk? Why all of them are in the running to helm ConAgra instead of just pick veggies for them. Damn, how that God stuff works! You think blacks are just like all the other poor people except even more so – an impediment to the spread of the gospel and tax cuts.

I’m going out on a limb here, but I’d wager he knows as much about poverty as he does about Jesus, which is to say not much. On the other hand, I know a little something about it.

My grandparents lived in abject poverty. Without exaggeration, their house looked like Snuffy Smith’s. The only advantage it had over a cardboard box was a deed somewhere. It left them free to use the back room for kindling, which is exactly what they did one particularly bad winter. Freezing isn’t much of an option when you can’t get out in hip-deep snow to chop wood. They probably used the deed to start the fire too. Yet my grandparents were married, one grueling day after another for nearly 50 years. And poverty was an unwelcome house guest for every damn one of them.

Controlling Asscakes Like You
Oh BTW, they were white. And they faithfully went to church. And they prayed many times a day, but God must’ve been busy trying to control asscakes like you.

They didn’t take a dime of the government’s money – partly because they were too uneducated to figure out how. Yet, they plugged along, rutted some, and ate the rabbit for dinner, because what they hunted wasn’t for sport. It was what saved them from starvation – no miraculous 3 loaves and fishes for them, just a gruelish stew of rabbit sans loaves (because they couldn’t afford flour) and fishes (because the streams were all toxic from unregulated coal mines).

Do some African-American families choose to let their families go all to hell? Yup, but so do whites and Latinos and even members of churches. However, many of them are married and the problem persists. Just as many aren’t married, but somehow manage to do right by their families despite bigger obstacles than the AFA braves over a 3-martini lunch with a grifter politician who prefers to buy votes than work for them. And they do it with a little help from Uncle Sam. That seems like a fair trade for companies working some poor bastard to death at 3 jobs because there isn’t anything else. Just a little unexpected, indirect corporate welfare.

Should people who have abandoned their families man-up and take responsibility? YES! Will poverty for most of them stop by following your golden rules, don’t bet on it.

See Bryan, poverty knows no color. It’s an equal opportunity scourge. Growling bellies know no race.  Red or yellow, black or white, poverty is poverty. Perhaps you’d do well to remember the last line of the little ditty:

“Jesus loves the little children of the world.”

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

 

Budgeting in the United States of Me

Taxes are a lot like salaries. If you paid someone $1 million a day (oh wait, we do) they’d scream bloody murder they should’ve gotten $1,ooo,ooo.o1. If you taxed someone 1%, they’d whine they shouldn’t have to pay more than 000.1%, with those whining the loudest being the people with the lowest tax rates and highest pay.

Perhaps the most oft-repeated charge against Obama bin Karl Marx and the Democrat Politburo is that they’re dangerous socialists. But according to a recent story from CNBC, a funny thing happened on the way to the Kremlin. If you look at their list of the 10 most socialist states, there’s a whole lotta red in Governors’ mansions. In fact, six of 10 governors sport big red Rs next to their names. BTW, the People’s Republic of California didn’t even make the list.

All the tri-cornered hats and tea bags notwithstanding, the charge that most states are tax and spend Central Bureaus is shaky too.

Despite the screeching about high taxes, Americans enjoy some of the lowest taxes in the western world. American companies pay the second highest taxes, but they don’t mention their taxes are high because American companies gorge on taxpayer-funded corporate welfare far more damaging than the most greedy, imaginary, Cadillac-driving welfare queen.

American Productivity: The Bee’s Knees
They also don’t say they’re not leaving the US so much because of high taxes, but because they can hire workers from Third World countries at pennies on the dollar relative to Americans workers. Oh yeah, American workers who are generally rated as some of the most productive in the world.

The uber-capitalist view on this is that government is inherently inefficient and can’t be trusted with a dollar and there is massive fraud out there to be picked like leaves from the Liberty Tree. However, everyone’s favorite tax and spend worker’s paradise, California, has the lowest number of employees per 10,000 residents.

And when it comes to California’s current economic pickle, it’s useful to remember that if California were a country, its economy would be the eighth largest in the world – somewhere around the size of Spain’s. Fixing California’s problems is as difficult as fixing the two national economies that’ve already gone off the edge – Iceland and Ireland. BTW, both have smaller economies than California’s. But take heart don’t tax and spender conservatives, if Ireland goes, we could overtake Spain. USA! USA! USA!

Plus, a remnant from the last misguided tax revolt is a draconian tax and spend process worse than the broke Eurotrash’s. You may have heard of it, Prop 13. Prop 13 makes it extremely difficult to raise taxes to support social programs, infrastructure projects, and most importantly, education. So, California’s educational system has dropped from best in the nation to sub-Alabama levels since its introduction, its roads look like mule trails to the Hindu Kush, and social and educational programs have taken the biggest hits in the sausage slicing process…in a state with more poor people than any other.

Rid the government of fraud you say?

That’s a dandy idea, but none of our erstwhile CEO/politicians can explain how much there is, where it is, or how to cut it. BTW, if we removed of all of it, the spending effect – like banning earmarks – would be like pissing into a hurricane.

Of course we could start cutting the continued contracts with known fraudsters like, Blackwater/XE, Halliburton, and dozens of others carbuncles on the ass of the American economy. But hey, what do I know…except that having worked in both the public and private sectors I can vouch for the fact that fraud, abuse, and waste in corporate America is roughly the same in government America after being scaled to their relative sizes.

Moossilini and the Gajillionaire
Yes, people have a right to complain when their tax money isn’t spent wisely and no one wants to pay any more than necessary (excepting gajillionaire Warren Buffet, but you know how crazy the unbelievably rich are). But there’s the rub. One man’s waste is another man’s essential. If it were easy, we wouldn’t have a problem – even if Moosilini says it is. Still, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try.

Yet, you can bet that when it comes to the cutting, some of the same folks who now complain righteously, albeit incorrectly, aren’t going to be happy.

Do you think that Granny holding the “Get Rid of Obamunist” sign is going to be happy when the people she voted for decide that her Social Security and Medicare are wasteful perks? How about those who are ready to send Junior off to college only to find that all that grant money went poof? And when Mom gets e-coli from some ConAgra-raised hamburger, treated with bum drugs, and it eventually kills her (without even the courtesy of a death panel) the FDA doesn’t look so wasteful anymore.

We are all Americans and part of the responsibility of every American is to chip something in for the common good of the nation – or we would be called the United States of Me.

Stop yelling about how bad you’ve got it.

You could be working 14 hours a day in an Indonesian sweatshop to make shirts you’ll buy on the cheap at Walmart.

Always low prices…Always.

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

Budgeting in the United States of Me

Taxes are a lot like salaries. If you paid someone $1 million a day (oh wait, we do) they’d scream bloody murder they should’ve gotten $1,ooo,ooo.o1. If you taxed someone 1%, they’d whine they shouldn’t have to pay more than 000.1%, with those whining the loudest being the people with the lowest tax rates and highest pay.

Perhaps the most oft-repeated charge against Obama bin Karl Marx and the Democrat Politburo is that they’re dangerous socialists. But according to a recent story from CNBC, a funny thing happened on the way to the Kremlin. If you look at their list of the 10 most socialist states, there’s a whole lotta red in Governors’ mansions. In fact, six of 10 governors sport big red Rs next to their names. BTW, the People’s Republic of California didn’t even make the list.

All the tri-cornered hats and tea bags notwithstanding, the charge that most states are tax and spend Central Bureaus is shaky too.

Despite the screeching about high taxes, Americans enjoy some of the lowest taxes in the western world. American companies pay the second highest taxes, but they don’t mention their taxes are high because American companies gorge on taxpayer-funded corporate welfare far more damaging than the most greedy, imaginary, Cadillac-driving welfare queen.

American Productivity: The Bee’s Knees
They also don’t say they’re not leaving the US so much because of high taxes, but because they can hire workers from Third World countries at pennies on the dollar relative to Americans workers. Oh yeah, American workers who are generally rated as some of the most productive in the world.

The uber-capitalist view on this is that government is inherently inefficient and can’t be trusted with a dollar and there is massive fraud out there to be picked like leaves from the Liberty Tree. However, everyone’s favorite tax and spend worker’s paradise, California, has the lowest number of employees per 10,000 residents.

And when it comes to California’s current economic pickle, it’s useful to remember that if California were a country, its economy would be the eighth largest in the world – somewhere around the size of Spain’s. Fixing California’s problems is as difficult as fixing the two national economies that’ve already gone off the edge – Iceland and Ireland. BTW, both have smaller economies than California’s. But take heart don’t tax and spender conservatives, if Ireland goes, we could overtake Spain. USA! USA! USA!

Plus, a remnant from the last misguided tax revolt is a draconian tax and spend process worse than the broke Eurotrash’s. You may have heard of it, Prop 13. Prop 13 makes it extremely difficult to raise taxes to support social programs, infrastructure projects, and most importantly, education. So, California’s educational system has dropped from best in the nation to sub-Alabama levels since its introduction, its roads look like mule trails to the Hindu Kush, and social and educational programs have taken the biggest hits in the sausage slicing process…in a state with more poor people than any other.

Rid the government of fraud you say?

That’s a dandy idea, but none of our erstwhile CEO/politicians can explain how much there is, where it is, or how to cut it. BTW, if we removed of all of it, the spending effect – like banning earmarks – would be like pissing into a hurricane.

Of course we could start cutting the continued contracts with known fraudsters like, Blackwater/XE, Halliburton, and dozens of others carbuncles on the ass of the American economy. But hey, what do I know…except that having worked in both the public and private sectors I can vouch for the fact that fraud, abuse, and waste in corporate America is roughly the same in government America after being scaled to their relative sizes.

Moossilini and the Gajillionaire
Yes, people have a right to complain when their tax money isn’t spent wisely and no one wants to pay any more than necessary (excepting gajillionaire Warren Buffet, but you know how crazy the unbelievably rich are). But there’s the rub. One man’s waste is another man’s essential. If it were easy, we wouldn’t have a problem – even if Moosilini says it is. Still, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try.

Yet, you can bet that when it comes to the cutting, some of the same folks who now complain righteously, albeit incorrectly, aren’t going to be happy.

Do you think that Granny holding the “Get Rid of Obamunist” sign is going to be happy when the people she voted for decide that her Social Security and Medicare are wasteful perks? How about those who are ready to send Junior off to college only to find that all that grant money went poof? And when Mom gets e-coli from some ConAgra-raised hamburger, treated with bum drugs, and it eventually kills her (without even the courtesy of a death panel) the FDA doesn’t look so wasteful anymore.

We are all Americans and part of the responsibility of every American is to chip something in for the common good of the nation – or we would be called the United States of Me.

Stop yelling about how bad you’ve got it.

You could be working 14 hours a day in an Indonesian sweatshop to make shirts you’ll buy on the cheap at Walmart.

Always low prices…Always.

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

Budgeting in the United States of Me

Taxes are a lot like salaries. If you paid someone $1 million a day (oh wait, we do) they’d scream bloody murder they should’ve gotten $1,ooo,ooo.o1. If you taxed someone 1%, they’d whine they shouldn’t have to pay more than 000.1%, with those whining the loudest being the people with the lowest tax rates and highest pay.

Perhaps the most oft-repeated charge against Obama bin Karl Marx and the Democrat Politburo is that they’re dangerous socialists. But according to a recent story from CNBC, a funny thing happened on the way to the Kremlin. If you look at their list of the 10 most socialist states, there’s a whole lotta red in Governors’ mansions. In fact, six of 10 governors sport big red Rs next to their names. BTW, the People’s Republic of California didn’t even make the list.

All the tri-cornered hats and tea bags notwithstanding, the charge that most states are tax and spend Central Bureaus is shaky too.

Despite the screeching about high taxes, Americans enjoy some of the lowest taxes in the western world. American companies pay the second highest taxes, but they don’t mention their taxes are high because American companies gorge on taxpayer-funded corporate welfare far more damaging than the most greedy, imaginary, Cadillac-driving welfare queen.

American Productivity: The Bee’s Knees
They also don’t say they’re not leaving the US so much because of high taxes, but because they can hire workers from Third World countries at pennies on the dollar relative to Americans workers. Oh yeah, American workers who are generally rated as some of the most productive in the world.

The uber-capitalist view on this is that government is inherently inefficient and can’t be trusted with a dollar and there is massive fraud out there to be picked like leaves from the Liberty Tree. However, everyone’s favorite tax and spend worker’s paradise, California, has the lowest number of employees per 10,000 residents.

And when it comes to California’s current economic pickle, it’s useful to remember that if California were a country, its economy would be the eighth largest in the world – somewhere around the size of Spain’s. Fixing California’s problems is as difficult as fixing the two national economies that’ve already gone off the edge – Iceland and Ireland. BTW, both have smaller economies than California’s. But take heart don’t tax and spender conservatives, if Ireland goes, we could overtake Spain. USA! USA! USA!

Plus, a remnant from the last misguided tax revolt is a draconian tax and spend process worse than the broke Eurotrash’s. You may have heard of it, Prop 13. Prop 13 makes it extremely difficult to raise taxes to support social programs, infrastructure projects, and most importantly, education. So, California’s educational system has dropped from best in the nation to sub-Alabama levels since its introduction, its roads look like mule trails to the Hindu Kush, and social and educational programs have taken the biggest hits in the sausage slicing process…in a state with more poor people than any other.

Rid the government of fraud you say?

That’s a dandy idea, but none of our erstwhile CEO/politicians can explain how much there is, where it is, or how to cut it. BTW, if we removed of all of it, the spending effect – like banning earmarks – would be like pissing into a hurricane.

Of course we could start cutting the continued contracts with known fraudsters like, Blackwater/XE, Halliburton, and dozens of others carbuncles on the ass of the American economy. But hey, what do I know…except that having worked in both the public and private sectors I can vouch for the fact that fraud, abuse, and waste in corporate America is roughly the same in government America after being scaled to their relative sizes.

Moossilini and the Gajillionaire
Yes, people have a right to complain when their tax money isn’t spent wisely and no one wants to pay any more than necessary (excepting gajillionaire Warren Buffet, but you know how crazy the unbelievably rich are). But there’s the rub. One man’s waste is another man’s essential. If it were easy, we wouldn’t have a problem – even if Moosilini says it is. Still, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try.

Yet, you can bet that when it comes to the cutting, some of the same folks who now complain righteously, albeit incorrectly, aren’t going to be happy.

Do you think that Granny holding the “Get Rid of Obamunist” sign is going to be happy when the people she voted for decide that her Social Security and Medicare are wasteful perks? How about those who are ready to send Junior off to college only to find that all that grant money went poof? And when Mom gets e-coli from some ConAgra-raised hamburger, treated with bum drugs, and it eventually kills her (without even the courtesy of a death panel) the FDA doesn’t look so wasteful anymore.

We are all Americans and part of the responsibility of every American is to chip something in for the common good of the nation – or we would be called the United States of Me.

Stop yelling about how bad you’ve got it.

You could be working 14 hours a day in an Indonesian sweatshop to make shirts you’ll buy on the cheap at Walmart.

Always low prices…Always.

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

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