J’accuse! No More Punctuation Funny Stuff!!!

In a political season that’s farcical at best, it’s hard to beat Christine “The First Amendment Really Says That?” O’Donnell, Sharron “They All Look Alike to Me” Angle, or Daniel “Unhappy Hour” Webster for sheer laughs! But, someone has and unsurprisingly it was a Bush – the supposed “smart” one, Jeb!

Jebster’s attorney, Willy Wiley Horton, sent a cease and desist order to Deborah Gianoulis, a former TV anchor running against state Republican party chair John Thrasher in Florida’s Senate District 8 race!

Her heinous crime: Violation of federal trademark law!

It seems the dangerous outlaw, “Kid” Gianoulis, had the unmitigated gall to put her name on a red background followed by an exclamation point!

“You appear to be using the same font and color scheme as has been used by the lawful owner [Bush] … for at least the past 16 years,” Horton exclaimed! He didn’t mention why this was any of Bush’s business since Gianoulis was running against some other Republican crapweasel!

Now it seems implausible that political signage – creative whirlwinds they are – are that easy to copyright! If you’re a Republican, your sign is red! If you’re a Democrat, your sign is blue! If you’re a girl you wear a pink hairband! If you’re a bo

Your name appears in large, contrasting, bold letters as befitting the egotistical buffoon running for office! If you’re really wild and crazy you might festoon your eyesore with something evocative of a flag! Though oddly, never the flag itself!

Someone must have trademarked stars and stripes!

Oh, and contrary to popular belief, Obama campaign signs didn’t feature a hammer and sickle or Kenyan flag!

So here are the facts:

  • By my calculations, both signs appear to be the same color, except for lighting conditions, ink variations, color blindness, and whether you use Web-safe colors…just like a zillion other signs on the planet!
  • Despite Horton’s claim, the fonts are different in that subtle way that fonts often are! The differences are so slight it’s like doing the Sunday kid’s cartoon where you spot the number of mistakes in 2 nearly identical pictures! Hint for the clueless: Look at the “e”!
  • Aside from the general lameness of the language’s most useless punctuation, the exclamation point, it seems that Jeb is infringing on the trademark of Hamilton!, OH! Take that Jeb with your slanted “e”!
  • The Gianoulis campaign already stopped using the design quite some time ago – probably because of falling poll ratings for the goobs who couldn’t tell “Jeb!” from “Deb!”! Remember, this is a state where they can’t operate paper ballots!

The Gianoulis campaign responded to the kerfuffle, with “we have more important things to worry about, like the economy and education!”

Oh please DEB! You’ll never get anywhere in the political game thinking like that!!!!!!!!!!

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

 

 

Rand Paul’s Mr. Whipple Moment

Sen. Rand Paul (R-Whatthehellwerethosekentuckiansthinking), has a knack for the absurd. Politicians often talk sh*t, but Rand went off on a rant about toilets – and light bulbs, abortion, offshoring jobs, and the dangerous threat to society those inanimate objects represent…. at a hearing about energy efficiency standards for appliances.

I’d like to lay the whole story out, insane utterance by insane utterance, but I can’t understand it. For one thing, I’m not Charlie Sheening on angel dust nor am I Baghdad Bob. I’m just an average person who manages to get up and go to work each day and return home in relatively good physical and mental shape without having a toilet flush my right to life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and incandescant light bulbs as though I was a whole roll of the Mr. Whipple’s best.

I also have an IQ somewhere north of a stale donut and I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt that you do too.

As I read the story, I kept thinking there’s an asylum somewhere with a bed that has his name on it. I actually felt sorry for the addlebrained goob. I kept thinking, “That guy needs some help. Good thing his insurance doesn’t have a death panel requirement, because he’d be right up at the top of the euthanasia list.” I kept thinking there had to something I could do or say to bring him back to reality. And then it struck me!

Rand hates low-flow toilets because he has to flush them 10 times to get rid of that dump he took after his last hallucinogenic flight of fantasy. Eureka!

Rand, listen carefully. Go to your bathroom. Take off your shoes, put your feet in your underperforming toilet and FLUSH – 11 or 12 times if you have to and sooner or later the world’s biggest turd will just disappear down the drain.

I love it when I can help my fellow man.

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

 

 

 

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