Dear Republicans: We Told You So

This is one of those posts that swings on a "yes...but" statement. We'll apologize right up front for that, but - there's that giggling little word - "we told you so".

This weekend's Republican tete-a-tete in Memphis was more than just an excuse to go to Beale Street, listen to some blues - although the sight of a Republican listening to the blues is amusing - and bash liberals for the end of the world. It was also about their upcoming strategery for keeping their stranglehold on all three branches of government.

There was plenty of talk about getting back to core conservative values - (BTW, have you noticed that Republicans never call themselves Republicans anymore? So much for the party of little elephants and Big Tents) - those conservative values being to redistribute the nation's wealth among as few people as possible, grinding everyone not of the Christian persuasion under the jackboot of religion, giving corporations legal rights in excess of individual rights, and sealing the deal with as much spying, cronyism, war, and environmental pillage as possible. And don't even get us started about shooting old guys in the face.

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In Defense of BUSH

I have to defend the president and make it clear that I am adamantly opposed to creating animal-human hybrids.  This idea surely is the result of liberal christmas-hating atheists and has no place in a god-fearing democracy.  The sight of half-human half-animal hybrid creatures walking around the streets of our beloved land would, without doubt, be a sign of impending armagedon.  It may be a cute thing at first, watching little boy-dolphins frolicking in the sea, and little wolf-cub girls chasing the cats, but soon they would grow up.  And then what?  They would probably want civil rights protections and access to the minimum wage.  And it would give the phrase "hung like a horse" a whole new meaning.

I may be sounding like a Republican, but I will throw you liberal animal-hybrid activists a bone (no pun intended.)  Technically, these "humanimals" would not be real people, and as such, they would not be protected by the soon to be instituted abortion laws.  So, we would be able to abort them without going to jail.  This may, in fact, help alleviate the impending abortion withdrawal all you liberals will soon be feeling.

That having been said, I am not opposed to human-plant hybrids, and I suspect these "humants" may be the solution to sending man (or whatever) to Mars.

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State of the Union 2006 -- Bush links

The State of the Union 2006 parody is taking off just before the real one. My thanks to Matt Stoller and everyone else up here in the blogosphere!

For those who were unable to see the flash animation version at YouTube, it's also up on ifilm and as a Quicktime file here. I also suggest pausing it to let the file load completely before playing.

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State of the Union 2006 -- Hilarious Bush Impression!

Watch this hilarious take on the State of the Union, with James Adomian doing a hilarious, spot-on impression of President George W. Bush!

State of the Union 2006

This should be fun to screen as a warmup before your SOTU viewing parties.

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J’accuse! No More Punctuation Funny Stuff!!!

In a political season that’s farcical at best, it’s hard to beat Christine “The First Amendment Really Says That?” O’Donnell, Sharron “They All Look Alike to Me” Angle, or Daniel “Unhappy Hour” Webster for sheer laughs! But, someone has and unsurprisingly it was a Bush – the supposed “smart” one, Jeb!

Jebster’s attorney, Willy Wiley Horton, sent a cease and desist order to Deborah Gianoulis, a former TV anchor running against state Republican party chair John Thrasher in Florida’s Senate District 8 race!

Her heinous crime: Violation of federal trademark law!

It seems the dangerous outlaw, “Kid” Gianoulis, had the unmitigated gall to put her name on a red background followed by an exclamation point!

“You appear to be using the same font and color scheme as has been used by the lawful owner [Bush] … for at least the past 16 years,” Horton exclaimed! He didn’t mention why this was any of Bush’s business since Gianoulis was running against some other Republican crapweasel!

Now it seems implausible that political signage – creative whirlwinds they are – are that easy to copyright! If you’re a Republican, your sign is red! If you’re a Democrat, your sign is blue! If you’re a girl you wear a pink hairband! If you’re a bo

Your name appears in large, contrasting, bold letters as befitting the egotistical buffoon running for office! If you’re really wild and crazy you might festoon your eyesore with something evocative of a flag! Though oddly, never the flag itself!

Someone must have trademarked stars and stripes!

Oh, and contrary to popular belief, Obama campaign signs didn’t feature a hammer and sickle or Kenyan flag!

So here are the facts:

  • By my calculations, both signs appear to be the same color, except for lighting conditions, ink variations, color blindness, and whether you use Web-safe colors…just like a zillion other signs on the planet!
  • Despite Horton’s claim, the fonts are different in that subtle way that fonts often are! The differences are so slight it’s like doing the Sunday kid’s cartoon where you spot the number of mistakes in 2 nearly identical pictures! Hint for the clueless: Look at the “e”!
  • Aside from the general lameness of the language’s most useless punctuation, the exclamation point, it seems that Jeb is infringing on the trademark of Hamilton!, OH! Take that Jeb with your slanted “e”!
  • The Gianoulis campaign already stopped using the design quite some time ago – probably because of falling poll ratings for the goobs who couldn’t tell “Jeb!” from “Deb!”! Remember, this is a state where they can’t operate paper ballots!

The Gianoulis campaign responded to the kerfuffle, with “we have more important things to worry about, like the economy and education!”

Oh please DEB! You’ll never get anywhere in the political game thinking like that!!!!!!!!!!

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!




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