Conservatives, What the Heck is Wrong With You?

Once upon a time, a day with earthquakes, nuclear meltdowns, government shutdowns, and wars sprouting like deadly nightshade would’ve been unthinkable. Today, it’s just another hum-drum, dog-bites-man day. That’s a whole lot of chaos and change going on and many of us react more profoundly to it.

Researchers at the College of London say conservatives and liberals have physically different brain structures and it’s not the first study to reach similar conclusions. Perhaps this is the reason – in a government designed around healthy debate – the two sides can’t agree on whether that smoke they see is from a damaged nuclear facility, greenhouse gasses, or fat CEO bonuses. Moderates just scream, “DO SOMETHING!” on commercial breaks during Dancing with the Stars – couch potato government by TV remote at its best.

Despite my usual rabidly left-wing screeds, my responses are generally calmer and more conciliatory in comments. I hunger for a day when I can express my opinion without being called a communist traitor, even though the traitor label is now worn like a Tea Bagger lapel pin among the conservative set. Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose, but on the whole everyone gets dumped on.

I’ve noticed my more rigid migration stage-left in response to attempts to roll the nation back to an idealized 1950s, some would say 1850s, because of unrelenting pressure to move right. Uber-Conservatives have taken the reigns of power as if they are the majority, becoming a juggernaut of fear, over-simplistic thinking, and downright political lunacy. Anyone who thinks Glen Beck is “fair and balanced” clearly has a conservative brain area the size of a pea – a pea that goes all Where’s Waldo? in a shell game.

It’s becoming increasingly difficult to avoid becoming  a total jackwad and attacking every conservative ideologue just on the basis that they breathe. There are more days I reach for the remote and find its dead batteries were made by unionized Chinese prison labor.

Conservatives have lost the ability to make a reasoned argument about anything. Their fantasy world is a place where gays marrying, gays in the military (in fact, just plain gays) are “jamming” something down their throats – pun intended. Despite living in states that make federal decisions look like products of reasonable compromises, their solution is to push everything to a local level populated by the world’s biggest cast of nincompoops and crooked grifters . Despite much experience with their personal checkbooks, their world is a place where one crawls out of a financial hole carried on tax rates like Namibia’s and shocking notions that the market cures all and corporations always make decisions in the nation’s interests.

At the risk of a different, uber-liberal ideology, what the hell is wrong with you people?

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

 

Conservatives, What the Heck is Wrong With You?

Once upon a time, a day with earthquakes, nuclear meltdowns, government shutdowns, and wars sprouting like deadly nightshade would’ve been unthinkable. Today, it’s just another hum-drum, dog-bites-man day. That’s a whole lot of chaos and change going on and many of us react more profoundly to it.

Researchers at the College of London say conservatives and liberals have physically different brain structures and it’s not the first study to reach similar conclusions. Perhaps this is the reason – in a government designed around healthy debate – the two sides can’t agree on whether that smoke they see is from a damaged nuclear facility, greenhouse gasses, or fat CEO bonuses. Moderates just scream, “DO SOMETHING!” on commercial breaks during Dancing with the Stars – couch potato government by TV remote at its best.

Despite my usual rabidly left-wing screeds, my responses are generally calmer and more conciliatory in comments. I hunger for a day when I can express my opinion without being called a communist traitor, even though the traitor label is now worn like a Tea Bagger lapel pin among the conservative set. Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose, but on the whole everyone gets dumped on.

I’ve noticed my more rigid migration stage-left in response to attempts to roll the nation back to an idealized 1950s, some would say 1850s, because of unrelenting pressure to move right. Uber-Conservatives have taken the reigns of power as if they are the majority, becoming a juggernaut of fear, over-simplistic thinking, and downright political lunacy. Anyone who thinks Glen Beck is “fair and balanced” clearly has a conservative brain area the size of a pea – a pea that goes all Where’s Waldo? in a shell game.

It’s becoming increasingly difficult to avoid becoming  a total jackwad and attacking every conservative ideologue just on the basis that they breathe. There are more days I reach for the remote and find its dead batteries were made by unionized Chinese prison labor.

Conservatives have lost the ability to make a reasoned argument about anything. Their fantasy world is a place where gays marrying, gays in the military (in fact, just plain gays) are “jamming” something down their throats – pun intended. Despite living in states that make federal decisions look like products of reasonable compromises, their solution is to push everything to a local level populated by the world’s biggest cast of nincompoops and crooked grifters . Despite much experience with their personal checkbooks, their world is a place where one crawls out of a financial hole carried on tax rates like Namibia’s and shocking notions that the market cures all and corporations always make decisions in the nation’s interests.

At the risk of a different, uber-liberal ideology, what the hell is wrong with you people?

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

 

Conservatives, What the Heck is Wrong With You?

Once upon a time, a day with earthquakes, nuclear meltdowns, government shutdowns, and wars sprouting like deadly nightshade would’ve been unthinkable. Today, it’s just another hum-drum, dog-bites-man day. That’s a whole lot of chaos and change going on and many of us react more profoundly to it.

Researchers at the College of London say conservatives and liberals have physically different brain structures and it’s not the first study to reach similar conclusions. Perhaps this is the reason – in a government designed around healthy debate – the two sides can’t agree on whether that smoke they see is from a damaged nuclear facility, greenhouse gasses, or fat CEO bonuses. Moderates just scream, “DO SOMETHING!” on commercial breaks during Dancing with the Stars – couch potato government by TV remote at its best.

Despite my usual rabidly left-wing screeds, my responses are generally calmer and more conciliatory in comments. I hunger for a day when I can express my opinion without being called a communist traitor, even though the traitor label is now worn like a Tea Bagger lapel pin among the conservative set. Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose, but on the whole everyone gets dumped on.

I’ve noticed my more rigid migration stage-left in response to attempts to roll the nation back to an idealized 1950s, some would say 1850s, because of unrelenting pressure to move right. Uber-Conservatives have taken the reigns of power as if they are the majority, becoming a juggernaut of fear, over-simplistic thinking, and downright political lunacy. Anyone who thinks Glen Beck is “fair and balanced” clearly has a conservative brain area the size of a pea – a pea that goes all Where’s Waldo? in a shell game.

It’s becoming increasingly difficult to avoid becoming  a total jackwad and attacking every conservative ideologue just on the basis that they breathe. There are more days I reach for the remote and find its dead batteries were made by unionized Chinese prison labor.

Conservatives have lost the ability to make a reasoned argument about anything. Their fantasy world is a place where gays marrying, gays in the military (in fact, just plain gays) are “jamming” something down their throats – pun intended. Despite living in states that make federal decisions look like products of reasonable compromises, their solution is to push everything to a local level populated by the world’s biggest cast of nincompoops and crooked grifters . Despite much experience with their personal checkbooks, their world is a place where one crawls out of a financial hole carried on tax rates like Namibia’s and shocking notions that the market cures all and corporations always make decisions in the nation’s interests.

At the risk of a different, uber-liberal ideology, what the hell is wrong with you people?

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

 

Conservatives, What the Heck is Wrong With You?

Once upon a time, a day with earthquakes, nuclear meltdowns, government shutdowns, and wars sprouting like deadly nightshade would’ve been unthinkable. Today, it’s just another hum-drum, dog-bites-man day. That’s a whole lot of chaos and change going on and many of us react more profoundly to it.

Researchers at the College of London say conservatives and liberals have physically different brain structures and it’s not the first study to reach similar conclusions. Perhaps this is the reason – in a government designed around healthy debate – the two sides can’t agree on whether that smoke they see is from a damaged nuclear facility, greenhouse gasses, or fat CEO bonuses. Moderates just scream, “DO SOMETHING!” on commercial breaks during Dancing with the Stars – couch potato government by TV remote at its best.

Despite my usual rabidly left-wing screeds, my responses are generally calmer and more conciliatory in comments. I hunger for a day when I can express my opinion without being called a communist traitor, even though the traitor label is now worn like a Tea Bagger lapel pin among the conservative set. Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose, but on the whole everyone gets dumped on.

I’ve noticed my more rigid migration stage-left in response to attempts to roll the nation back to an idealized 1950s, some would say 1850s, because of unrelenting pressure to move right. Uber-Conservatives have taken the reigns of power as if they are the majority, becoming a juggernaut of fear, over-simplistic thinking, and downright political lunacy. Anyone who thinks Glen Beck is “fair and balanced” clearly has a conservative brain area the size of a pea – a pea that goes all Where’s Waldo? in a shell game.

It’s becoming increasingly difficult to avoid becoming  a total jackwad and attacking every conservative ideologue just on the basis that they breathe. There are more days I reach for the remote and find its dead batteries were made by unionized Chinese prison labor.

Conservatives have lost the ability to make a reasoned argument about anything. Their fantasy world is a place where gays marrying, gays in the military (in fact, just plain gays) are “jamming” something down their throats – pun intended. Despite living in states that make federal decisions look like products of reasonable compromises, their solution is to push everything to a local level populated by the world’s biggest cast of nincompoops and crooked grifters . Despite much experience with their personal checkbooks, their world is a place where one crawls out of a financial hole carried on tax rates like Namibia’s and shocking notions that the market cures all and corporations always make decisions in the nation’s interests.

At the risk of a different, uber-liberal ideology, what the hell is wrong with you people?

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

 

Small Government: One Small Fly in the Ointment

Conservatives – especially their tea partying faction – are yelling, “Hell no! We won’t grow!” in their quest for government with a microscopic “G”. Their biggest quibble with St. Ronnie of Reagan’s government isn’t the solution, it’s the problem mantra was that he didn’t lay off the entire government (except for a staggeringly expensive, ass-kicking military…and it’s associated contractors and arms makers) and outsource everything to the states, or preferably, India by way of multinational conglomerates.

I suspect they’ll be getting a rude awakening soon. They’ll find it next to impossible to fight the strong running political tide, agree on what needs to be shed, or even agree on what small government means.

For example, arch-conservative Michele Bachmann wanted to prohibit earmarks only to find that, oops, her state wouldn’t get any money either. Suddenly her perception of pork changed in the face of angry voters who saw that Michele’s financial acumen was roughly equivalent to a high school home economics course in buying canned hams at rock bottom prices.

One man’s crumbling highway is another’s canned ham. Let those drivers give up the ham. They need to be put on the fiscally conservative South Beach Minnesota Diet. Same for those homeless people too by golly. It’ll be good for their no account goldbricking asses.

Conservatives never met a regulation they liked – unless it benefits them or is written by lobbyists. And one of the biggest government expenditures of all is creating and enforcing regulations. The baggers and Republi-Goobs are of a similar mind that only the private sector is smart enough to do anything – apparently ignoring that whole financial derivatives thing. But who’s counting.

So here’s an idea.

Regulations and regulators are a huge chunk of the budget, right? The Tax and Spend It All on Me Crowd frequently reminds us, usually in high-pitched squeaky voices, that the private sector is where smart, upstanding CEOs can do anything. They even have big paychecks to prove it.

Since the Supreme Activist Court (SACOTUS) took it upon themselves to give corporations Constitutional rights far and away more important than the rights of all individual citizens combined, it makes sense that corporations would be the very picture of responsible citizens in thanks. And smart as whips too.

So, corporations are just terrific, and honest, and thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent. We know this because Cryin’ John Boehner and the boys tell us so. So, how about we just trust them to do the right thing? No need to regulate when the free market unfailingly leads companies to the path of righteousness and honor.

We’d cut thousands of regulators in a jiffy. Legislators would have absolutely nothing to do except rubber stamp appropriations bills for the War du Jour. And lobbyists? Well, they’d become pro bono advisers to a micro-government that runs as smooth as BP oil rushing out of a broken wellhead. Yeah, THAT’S the ticket!

Um, only one small fly in the ointment on that one. Forget I mentioned anything.

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

 

 

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