CHRISTIAN RIGHT EMBRACES CHENEY'S DAUGHTER AS THE NEW 'VIRGIN MARY'

Reprinted from The Satirical Political Report http://satiricalpolitical.com

In a dramatic turnabout from its previous harsh condemnation, the Christian Coalition has decided to embrace Dick Cheney's pregnant lesbian daughter, claiming that she's actually the Second Coming of the Virgin Mary.

Reached at his offices at Liberty University, the Reverend Jerry Falwell conceded that the Christian Right had been shortsighted in trying to boot this Mary out of the manger, when she actually offered a tremendous upside to the evangelical cause.

"Let's face it," Falwell stated, "she is a 'Mary,' she's probably technically a virgin, and it wouldn't really surprise me if her life partner was a carpenter."

CONTINUED at: http://satiricalpolitical.com/?p=473

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Help us make these urgent calls

On Monday, we asked our activists to speak out on the deceptively titled "Unborn Child Pain Awareness Act," a bill that misleads women and puts politics before science.  The House is scheduled to vote on this bill TODAY.  Planned Parenthood sent a letter to all House members informing them that this vote WILL be scored and that a vote against H.R. 6099 will be considered a pro-choice vote. We need you to call the members of Congress listed below right now and tell them to vote NO on H.R. 6099.  After you call, submit a comment so that we can keep track of what these member offices are saying.

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HILLARY FORMS 'THE BARACK STUDY GROUP'

Reprinted from The Satirical Political Report http://satiricalpolitical.com

In order to explore ways to neutralize Senator Obama as her biggest rival for the 2008 Democratic Presidential nomination, Hillary Clinton has authorized the formation of "The Barack Study Group."

The bi-partisan Group is also known as the "Rogers Commission," named after its Chairman, Republican hatchetman Ed Rogers. Rogers was deemed to be the most qualified candidate for the position, based on his intimate knowledge of Obama's family history, including his middle name "Hussein."

The Barack Study Group will ultimately recommend whether Hillary should "cut and run" from the campaign, or "stay the course" for the Democratic nomination.

The Rogers Commission could also advocate a middle course, that Hillary begin a "phased redeployment" from the campaign, and jump back in later, in the event that a civil war or sectarian strife breaks out during the Democratic primary season.

CONTINUED at: http://satiricalpolitical.com/?p=444

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Anti-choice extremists lose by a landslide

Women and families are the big winners in the 2006 election.  Americans sent a clear signal yesterday in support of a woman's right to choose.  Anti-choice extremists lost by a landslide.  Voters rejected extreme policies and politicians.  By a wide margin, voters defeated attempts to criminalize abortion in South Dakota - where at least two state Senators who supported the abortion ban (Sen. Bill Earley and Sen. Dick Kelly) were voted out of office.  Voters rejected extremist attorney general Phill Kline in Kansas, who attempted to seize women's confidential medical records.  Dangerous abortion restrictions for teens were rejected in Oregon.  In Ohio, pro-choice, pro-family planning Governor Ted Strickland defeated extremist Ken Blackwell who supported legislation even more extreme than South Dakota's abortion ban.  In Wisconsin, women's health champion Jim Doyle defeated hardliner Mark Green, who co-authored legislation allowing health care providers to deny women access to birth control.  And with Representative Nancy Pelosi poised to serve as Speaker of the House, we are optimistic about a national shift toward support for women's healthcare.


But the action didn't stop on Election Day.


This morning we stand before the U.S. Supreme Court in Gonzales v. Planned Parenthood to present our challenge to the dangerous federal abortion ban. We will ask the court to strike down a law that would take personal, moral decision making away from women and families and put it in the hands of politicians. Perhaps even more than yesterday's elections, the court's decision in this case will help shape the future of reproductive freedom.

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The Other News Tomorrow

I know that everyone's eyes are on the elections today.  Ours definitely are -- especially in South Dakota where voters are casting their ballots on the abortion ban.  

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