Christine O’Donnell: The Day the Laughter Dies

It’s a hard political season and we can all do with a little comic relief. That lovable lunkhead, Sarah Moosilini, wore a bit thin when she began inundating the country with her 140-word Twitternouncements. Susan Angle brought the funny for awhile, but she’s a dark comic who always leaves audiences a little edgy about whether she’ll exercise her Sec0nd Amendment freedoms on their asses.

Now, there’s Christine O’Donnell.

This chick is a laugh-a-minute. She can claim masturbation is vitrual adultery while keeping a vapid, cute little gapped tooth smile on her chipmunk-serious face. She claims she started dating by canoodling behind the altar with a witchcrafter down at the Wicca Wig Wam and Occult Church and then laughed it off with the airiest, most delightful grin – though the Wiccas seem none too pleased. But Wiccas, cheer up! Republicans didn’t like her at first either, but now she’s growing on them!

However, like any good comedienne, she has a dark side. Her belief that she can cure homosexuals of screaming cases of The Gay™ has alienated more than one of her “friends” and some of her former campaign officials made robocalls against her the day before the primary. And, it seems, she has more skeletons in her Halloween-hating closet than they have down at the Spirit Halloween Superstore.

Combine serious charges of tax delinquency, misappropriation of campaign funds, stiffing her vendors from previous campaigns, and the miscellany that all candidates pick up while swimming in the political death pool and her cute-as-a-button smile might just get wiped off her smug mug in the near future.

As O’Donnell and other attendees at the Tea Par-Tay make it to ballots, there’s much being said about their influence. Dems are rubbing their hands together like a stoned raccoon at a hot dog convention, lulled into Christmas-night dreams of a political disaster averted. The Republicans are asking Daniel Webster to reconsider that whole agreement he negotiated with the devil for them. Independents are frozen in the headlights, unsure which way to turn to avoid the scruffy riff-raff who rave like soap box preachers downtown. And the Baggers themselves? They don’t even get the joke.

The secret to good comedy is to take it right to the edge and not a smidge farther. Making people uncomfortable is OK, profoundly scaring them isn’t. There’s still time before the elections for another few rounds of Palin/Angle/O’Donnell jokes, but not much. It’s about time the adults break up the party and start cleaning things up for the election. We’re tired of laughing to avoid crying. Our sides are split from so much myrth. We just can’t take it any more…

No, really. We can’t.

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!




Let The Co-Opting Begin

Rove pointed to unresolved questions about O'Donnell's financial practices, potentially dubious campaign tactics, and generally "nutty things" she'd been saying.

Former Bush Senior Adviser Staff Karl Rove today defended his earlier criticisms of Delaware's Republican Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell and insisted he supports her campaign, since she is now the Republican nominee.

Asked today on Fox News whether he would endorse O'Donnell, Rove said, "I endorsed her the other night -- I said I'm for the Republican in each and every case." - CBS News

As more and more teabaggers are nominated during the Republican primaries the new task for the Republican establishment and pundits is to try and make them appear “main stream”. Under normal conditions this would be difficult because the candidates would have to face the media, their opponents, and the voters. What we are seeing now is a new strategy being instituted by Sarah Palin and her ilk. The new strategy is to avoid the media except for Fox, the voters except for your supporters, and no debates. This election will be telling not just in the policies and visions of the teabaggers, but also a demonstration of the political strategy of evasion. Are the voters so angry that politicians are no longer required to answer tough questions or that their personal lives are no longer relevant?

I believe that former Senator Trent Lott said it best on one of the Sunday talk shows when he said that the Republicans have to figure out a way to co-opt the teabaggers into the larger Republican movement. I have a question why are the teabaggers a natural outgrowth of the Republican Party? If you follow the logic of the teabaggers which is difficult they are for smaller government and fiscal responsibility (among a host of other non-descript principles) then you would think that they would support the only Party in the last 35 years to reduce the national debt and recorded a surplus which would make them Democratic supporters wouldn’t it? So obviously the size of government or the deficits is not what is fueling the outrage.

I think what is troubling to Karl Rove and what should be troubling to the other so-called Republican leaders is that what the teabaggers are putting on display is what is at the heart of the conservative movement which is fear, racism, and tribalism. The teabaggers are like the crazy uncle that you keep in the attic. He is in the family but you don’t want anyone to know about it. The teabaggers are the raw nerve of the Republican Party. They are the ones who are the attack dogs for the Party. Let’s not be naive the reason the so-called Establishment Republicans are not challenging the teabaggers is because the teabaggers are the heart of the Republican Party. And now the trick that they want to play on the American public is to disguise this dark heart as being normal or main stream. These folks are not extremists. They are just angry main stream Americans who may go a little overboard but who could blame them during these revolutionary times.

The Beckster is even trying to talk the teabaggers into toning down the costumes, signs, and rhetoric. According to Mr. Beck now that the teabaggers have made a name for themselves it is time to clean-up their image. He is now offering fashion tips for the teabaggers. When I heard this I was instantly reminded of the Klan’s attempts to become main stream by placing David Duke on the public stage. The problem with managing a mob filled with hate, fear, and paranoia is that there is no managing it. Since a recent poll shows that 50% of the public does not have an opinion of the teabaggers their handlers have decided now is the time for a facelift. Their hope of course is that the public will not remember the signs, the rhetoric, or the racism. Or there is another opinion and that is they truly believe that the majority of Americans secretly share these intolerant views.

I can’t speak for the voters of Delaware, but what gives me cause for concern about Ms. O’Donnell and her shortcomings is simply this, if someone is dishonest in small things they will be dishonest in big things. Although the amounts of her misappropriations are small by Washington standards she has demonstrated a lack of basic honesty. If you will misuse a few thousand dollars how can you be trusted with millions of dollars? Ms. O’Donnell has learned that all Senators are millionaires and she wants to join the club. The fact that the teabaggers will support her or any candidate regardless of their personal integrity demonstrates to me that they are a red herring.

These folks are no more concerned about the deficits than they are concerned about death rays from Mars. You can’t say that you are concerned about the federal deficit and not have enough sense to do a simple history lesson and learn what Party has done more to increase the deficit. This isn’t rocket science a simple internet search will give you the details. But again this isn’t about knowledge or facts it is about a clash of cultures and a clash with the future.

I'm not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself. – Ronald Reagan

The Disputed Truth

Twitter and the Cowardice of Sarah Palin

Originally posted at Cagle.

When I joined Twitter in July 2006 I was the 3,365th person to sign up for the 140-character message streaming social network. Now, with more than 190 million users having taken the plunge, I guess you could call me an early adopter of sorts.

See, I've always believed that the Internet -- and by extension new online tools like Twitter -- have the ability to create change because it levels the political playing field tearing down walls that have traditionally separated the powerless and the powerful.

It turns out I may have been wrong -- at least when it comes to a certain half-termer from Alaska.

There's more...

To Beat or Not to Beat, For O’Donnell There is No Question

It’s one thing to burn a Quran. It’s another when a cracker like Glenn Beck claims to take back the civil rights movement. It’s still another to advocate exercising Second Amendment rights on your political opponents if your Cult de Tea doesn’t get its way. But this, this is a national outrage…

Delaware GOP Senate hopeful, Christine O’Donnell, is … against … (wait for it) … masturbation.

It’s, “lusting in your heart,” dontcha know. The same as adultery. A mortal sin committed directly against God and whatever imaginary playmate you’re watching on your internal DVD player. You know, the same God that John Ensign, Newt Gingrich, and any number of other sinners of both parties insultingly slapped in the gob when they committed actual adultery.

I wonder if it’s masturbatory adultery if you lust after your spouse. Is it any different if you lust after your same sex partner? How about some heavy petting with that golden retriever next door? – but I digress.

Her charge must be true. Moose Mama, Sarah Palin, has endorsed O’Donnell and if there was ever a masturbation expert, it’s Moosilini. After all, back when she was just a shrill harpy of a Wasilla housewife, she had a witch doctor cast aside her demons. While he was casting out the demons, he surely must’ve gone after those impure thoughts she had about the First Dood and those hunky snowmobile racers he’s always binging home.

In a world chock full of distasteful and awful things it’s hard to imagine a world without a little pud-polishin’ or nub-rubbin’. I assume Christine’s against drinking and drugs, so that leaves one’s only relief at church – where the priests or pastors are too busy twiddling kids and church secretaries  to busy themselves with something so distracting as prayer or comfort to their fellow sinners.

And the Imams? Just forget about them. Who knows what depravity they and their honey-drunk, next-life virgins get up to?

Denigrating masturbation is like burning the flag. Both are revered symbols of our nation. They even have similar Constitutional roots. The First Amendment guarantees free speech (of which flag burning has been found to be) and I can tell you from personal experience that speech flowing from the throes of lust is very free, if not a bit dirty in a boom chicka wow wow sort of way.

When will these constant threats to our personal freedoms end? It seems like O’Donnell wants to start a War on Christmas Whacking or something. All America needs are a few good death panels and some Johnson’s Baby Oil to retain our title of World’s Only Superpower. Our country’s strength is in its national groin.  A groin strong enough to stand up to the sexually repressed Taliban, those filthy gays, and those few who enjoy a little pony play (NSFW) from time to time.

As I write this post, I’m looking at pictures of both Christine and Sarah, trying to divine what drives their lunacy. It seems that …

“You know, that prim schoolmarm vibe they both have is kind of attractive. Hmm, I never noticed that before. Those smiles. Those sexy glasses. The snappy tight, but not too tight, clothing and the come-hither winks. They’re babes. I’d hit that in a New York minute if …”

OH CRAP! I’ve committed virtual adultery!

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

Why The Beck Event Didn’t Need Politics

Palin likened the rally participants to the civil rights activists from 1963. She said the same spirit that helped them overcome oppression, discrimination and violence would help this group as well."We are worried about what we face. Sometimes, our challenges seem insurmountable," Palin said. "Look around you. You're not alone." - Yahoo News

Many of the pundits and talking heads were concerned today about what the motive was for Glenn Beck’s rally over the weekend. Many questioned why Mr. Beck who has been one of the staunchest critics of this president would hold a political rally without the politics? By all accounts the rally was a cross between a revival meeting and a church picnic. There were no political speeches extolling the shortcomings of this president and his administration. There were no references to liberalism, socialism, or Obamacare in any of the speeches. So with one of the largest captive audiences in recent memory why was there no demagoguery by two of the best in the business?

The answer is really very simple. All one has to do is look at the demographics of the rally goers to understand that there was no need for these types of speeches. The majority of the participants were white, over 50, and evangelicals. With this group there was no need for over the top rhetoric, racists signs, or t-shirts. Just as the Pope does not have to detail the tenets of the Catholic faith during Mass at St. Peters Basilica neither did Glenn Beck have to give the tenets to those gathered at the rally? Is there any doubt what the political leanings of those people in that demographic would be? The people who showed up at that rally are conservative right-wing voters and their politics is their religion. In their minds there is no separation of religion and state or religion and politics. America in their minds is a Christian country and anyone who does not share their brand of Christianity is an outsider. One of the reasons that President Obama’s religion is questioned and is treated with skepticism is because he does not espouse or demonstrate their brand of Christianity. So we get “He says he is a Christian and I take him at his word.”

When groups of like minded individuals get together there are certain ideas or values that don’t require being spoken. Your very presence at the event signals your agreement with the group’s positions on politics, social values, and community mores. We are God’s people and everyone else are godless infidels who are not worthy of our compassion but instead they are worthy of our contempt. The thing to remember with group dynamics is that certain words can carry special meaning that the majority of the group understands so even a non-political rally can carry political significance. So instead of talking about liberals or foreigners we talk about those who share our version of religion and those who don’t. To the folks in the crowd the meaning is crystal clear and there is no difference.

"When the government puts its imprimatur on a particular religion it conveys a message of exclusion to all those who do not adhere to the favored beliefs. A government cannot be premised on the belief that all persons are created equal when it asserts that God prefers some." - Supreme Court Justice Harry A. Blackmun

The question that continues not to be asked today is not why more people think that President Obama is a Muslim today than when he was elected. The question that needs to be asked is in a country where we supposedly have freedom of religion why does it matter what religion he is. So we have these endless conversations on the television about what the poll numbers mean to the President’s ability to do his job and no conversation about the hypocrisy of this whole conversation. The thing that should scare the hell out of all Americans who value freedom about the Glenn Beck rally is that today it is the liberals tomorrow it will be the Methodists or the Catholics. A prime example of this is the fall-out from some Christian religious groups that stated following the rally that because Glenn Beck is a Mormon he is unfit and offering a false gospel. You see that once the hate mongering starts it becomes contagious and it will infiltrate and contaminate everyone it comes in contact with.

What Glenn Beck was attempting to do was to marry religion with politics. He is seeking to rally the troops under the cross, the flag, and oh yeah a little gold wouldn’t hurt. America has a history of following these Elmer Gantry wannabes promoting that good ole time religion. The problem with these charlatans is that their version of ole time religion is not very old. I truly believe that no group has done more to divide the Church in the history of the Church than the Evangelicals. According to them God is constantly providing new revelations that only they can hear and decipher which of course makes it next to impossible to dispute. Glenn Beck decries the liberation theology of others yet as you can see from Ms. Palin’s remarks that this is exactly what they are promoting only it is liberation for those who are the most liberated in the country. Who is more liberated than middle-aged white people? What they don’t realize is Beck, Palin and their rich cronies are the ones who are oppressing them.

You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do. - Anne Lamott

The Disputed Truth


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