SPECIAL COMMENT: A PRE-BUTTAL

Your Special Comment tonight on Hillary Clinton will undoubtedly garner hundreds of thousands of You Tube hits. It will be greeted by Republicans and Obama supporters alike as a long-deserved comeuppance of Hillary Clinton for all her "sins" of the last fifteen years. You will be applauded and revered by your colleagues. And you will, for a time at least, have lost a good deal of the audience you worked so hard to build. You, sir, will have stepped over the line. You will have morphed, in a few short months, from Edward R. Murrow to Howard Beale. And it will have been your own arrogance, narcissism and hubris that catalyzed your unfortunate transformation. (See Spitzer, Eliot, for an explanation of how this works.)

The reputation of Geraldine Ferraro, a dedicated progressive with a four decade commitment to civil rights, will be collateral damage from your disquisition. I have no doubt you will be brilliant in your evisceration of Clinton and Ferraro. You will be vitriolic, vituperative and venal. You will ooze umbrage. Your transformation will be complete: from "goodnight and good luck" to "I'm sick and tired and I'm not going to take it anymore."

More on the flip

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News Brats - Are We Helpless to Stop Them?

Keith Olbermann has become quite the prima donna.

Viewers tuning in a few moments early to the MSNBC debate,
were treated to Olbermann in a psychotic rant.
The righteous posture he adapts to go after right wing criminals like
Libby, Abramoff, and Cheney.

But this was no scandal du jour.  The words of hatred were being hurled
at a law abiding democrat.  Her sin?  Running for public office.
Who in just minutes, would be engaged in a national debate on
Olbermann's own channel.

A worthy democratic candidate being publically stoned
and persecuted.  Why?  Because they can.

I can't comment on the ritual post debate vilification of Clinton,
because I don't have the stomach to watch them anymore.

I was just happy that for the first time, NBC finally conducted a
balanced debate that wasn't calculated to hurt Clinton and throw her
off her game.

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What's wrong with Keith Olbermann?

It's funny, I've generally been a fan of Keith Olberman over the last few years. He seemed to me to be one of the good guys, going after the Bush administration policies when few others would. My wife, on the other hand, who's lefty politics are pretty similar to mine could not stand him.

While I applauded his special comments she was insulted by the tone. I didn't understand what annoyed her so much, but she'd leave the room anytime I tuned him in. It wasn't the issues he was discussing, it was the self important buffoonery that really got under her skin, the name calling and the juvenial snickering.  In her opinion that was the tactics of the right and it was not OK to play the game that way. When we descend to their level, we are no better than them.

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FORGET SAFIRE; HERE'S THE `SATIRE OFFICE POOL'

Reprinted from The Satirical Political Report http://satiricalpolitical.com

Tired of Bill Safire's annual "Office Pool" column in The New York Times? -- the 2007 version of which appeared today. Sick of his not-so-subtle slants to reflect his right-wing wish list? Well, here then, is the only Office Pool you need, the First Annual "Office Satire Pool" for 2007:

1. George Bush will:

(a) stay the course, (b) give in to his urge to surge, (c) cut and run, (d) cut his wrists.

I hope for (d), but fear it'll be (b).

2. Dick Cheney will push for the invasion of:

(a) Iran, (b) Syria, (c) Iraq, all over again, (d) The Democratic-controlled House and Senate.

My pick: All of the above.

3. Osama bin Laden will:

(a) be captured while dining with Pakistan President Musharraf, (b) take over as the lead anchor on Al Jazeera, (c) be awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by Bush, for ensuring W's re-election.

The answer is (a), but you won't hear about it, since Bush needs both Musharraf and bin Laden.

4. Which politician's platform to battle the E. coli threat will be most ridiculed:

(a) Hillary Clinton's centrist-tacking "All meat should be safe, legal and rare," (b) John McCain's "Send in more bacteria," (c) John Kerry's "How do you ask a man to die for a last steak."

Obviously (c), which will be played to death by the Swift Meat Company veterans.

5. Which position will the extreme Right-Wing do a dramatic reversal on:

(a) abortion, (b) tax cuts for the wealthy, (c) global warming, (d) human cloning.

The correct answer is (d) human cloning, which has already occurred, based on the fact that Pat Buchanan appears simultaneously on every cable news station.

CONTINUED at: http://satiricalpolitical.com/?p=491

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BILL O'REILLY'S TWELVE DAYS OF THE WAR ON XMAS

Reprinted from The Satirical Political Report http://satiricalpolitical.com/

On the first day of the War on Christmas
My multi-cultural enemies gave to me . . .
A Muslim Congressman swearing on the Koran

On the second day of the War on Christmas
My multi-cultural enemies gave to me . . .
Two lesbian moms
And a Muslim Congressman swearing on the Koran

On the third day of the War on Christmas
My multi-cultural enemies gave to me . . .
Three French Kerrys
Two lesbian moms
And a Muslim Congressman swearing on the Koran

On the fourth day of the War on Christmas
My multi-cultural enemies gave to me . . .
Four Kwanzaa kinaras
Three French Kerrys
Two lesbian moms
And a Muslim Congressman swearing on the Koran

CONTINUED at: http://satiricalpolitical.com/?p=482

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Diaries

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