Ban Porn! Michele Bachmann 2012 Pledge

2012 Republican presidential hopeful Michele Bachmann signed a Christian-Right pledge that slams porn, gay people and sex before marriage. Michael Shure explains.

 

Independence Doesn’t Spring From Ignorance

It’s no secret that many young Americans graduate from school with little more than the knowledge of where to find the cheat codes for the  Call of Duty electronic game. Only a small number know how to use a globe or know you have to pay interest on credit card debt. They expect to start jobs with $100,000 salaries…at McDonalds. And enough math skills to balance a checkbook? Fugetaboutit!

Every holiday a plethora of polls expose the latest statistics for American Dumbassness. This year it’s a July 4th Marist poll pointing out that only 26% percent of Americans (4o% of 18-29 year olds) don’t know which country we fought in the American revolution.

Clearly, we’ve done a bad job of educating our children and parenting them in such a way that they’re ready to learn basic skills. But then, it’s hard for a parent or teacher raised in a dysfunctional  href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Education">educational system to teach subjects for which they’re only moderately better prepared than their students. Think of a copy machine. As you make copies of copies of copies, each new copy progressively degrades more.

Of course, there are many reasons for the collapse and just as many ideas of how to put the wheels back on the school bus. The Every Child Left Behind Act, school voucher programs, the abandonment of tried and true teaching methods and curricula, and cataclysmic budget cuts all do their part. Members of the ignorati, like Rick Santorum, simply believe only liberals are responsible.

It’s appalling that kids don’t know who we bested (geography lesson: not England – they aren’t the same thing) at Yorktown (crib note: it’s in Virginia along the York River). It’s even more appalling that parents, teachers, and politicians trying to win seats in the very heart of American democracy know just as little as the kids they’ve helped intellectually cripple.

American education policy is in a shambles. It seems all we can do about it is spew dogma at each other. Since dogma is a “big word”, here’s a little vocabulary help. One definition of dogma is, “a point of view or tenet put forth as authoritative without adequate grounds“. Do you know how I know that definition? I learned how to use a dictionary.

Study up kids. You should know what your soon-to-be adult screeds mean before you end up being incapable of delivering them.

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

MSNBC Host Challenges Bachmann

2012 Republican presidential hopeful and Tea Party favorite MIchele Bachmann was a major supporter of pork barrel spending, earmarks and subsidies.

 

Michele Bachmann: Bikini or Nude?

It seems Michele Bachmann made a big splash at the Republican debates when she formally threw her hat into the ring. But, many of her supporters may have wished she’d thrown her panties in instead.

Within minutes of the debates ending, I noticed a large and growing spike in searches leading to my blog, The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks! I didn’t think much about it, but when I checked more closely on Tuesday morning, I found almost 400 people had already ended up at Speaks! before 5 am by searching for “michele bachmann bikini”. As of noon today, we’re up to 950 hits with no end in sight.

That people search for the Minnesota beach babe isn’t particularly unusual. I’ve gotten steady traffic off her since I posted Michele Bachmann Thinks Obama Has a God Problem. That post contained a Photoshopped photo of Bachmann’s head atop a well-endowed body. She even holding a large automatic weapon just to tempt her Second Amendment followers.

What is unusual is that not once in the thousands of searches since that post debuted has anyone searched for photos of her nude. Considering another of my site’s top search terms is “marge simpson porn”, that  factoid sticks out. Even more surprising when learning the folks looking for Marge and Homer in flagranti are overwhelmingly from the most repressive Muslim countries.

In other words, Bachmaniacs are looking for relatively demure photos of a semi-real, trim, Minnesota soccer mom is a swimsuit, but people in even more repressed societies are going for full-on cartoon on cartoon sex (apologies to Rick Santorum).

I think it’s safe to say that most Bachmann followers are a little to the right … well, maybe far right … oh, who the hell are we kidding? They’ve gone so far right they’ve almost completed the circle and are closing in on Obama’s left. They’re pretty straight-laced. It’s an uber-evangelical crowd. Pat Robertson is a liberal to the Michelicans. They’re the core anti-gay marriage, have sex only for procreation, Planned Parenthood funding stripper cabal.

Could it be they’re so repressed they can’t allow themselves the pleasure of seeing an admittedly handsome MILF in her all together? Do they get a thrill when switching fantasies from  Michele in June Cleaver pearls and Republican cloth coat to a senior member of the Swedish Bikini Team? Is that just enough, but not too much temptation? Do they fear they’ll have to join Weiner’s wiener in therapy if they choose God-endowed skin over a Minnesota overcoat?

What does the gay-fearing Missus think about it? Does she see Michele as the Devil‘s Temptress come to steal her man or tempt him into a wide stance in the wrong public toilet? Are Daddy’s impure thoughts the same as a disgusting Congressoconstituent tete a tete with her church deacon hubby?

And when you compare these sex-addled, but demure searchers for skin to their Muslim counterparts, why is one repressed Devil’s spawn so much less repressed given the opportunity to gaze on the Minnesota Mom anonymously and privately? Could it be those evil 72 Virgins at work? Vile harpies!

There is a final solution to this unholy masturbation fantasy though, “Lock ‘em all up in FEMA concentration camps.”

Well helloooo new search phrase!

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

Michele Bachmann: Bikini or Nude?

It seems Michele Bachmann made a big splash at the Republican debates when she formally threw her hat into the ring. But, many of her supporters may have wished she’d thrown her panties in instead.

Within minutes of the debates ending, I noticed a large and growing spike in searches leading to my blog, The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks! I didn’t think much about it, but when I checked more closely on Tuesday morning, I found almost 400 people had already ended up at Speaks! before 5 am by searching for “michele bachmann bikini”. As of noon today, we’re up to 950 hits with no end in sight.

That people search for the Minnesota beach babe isn’t particularly unusual. I’ve gotten steady traffic off her since I posted Michele Bachmann Thinks Obama Has a God Problem. That post contained a Photoshopped photo of Bachmann’s head atop a well-endowed body. She even holding a large automatic weapon just to tempt her Second Amendment followers.

What is unusual is that not once in the thousands of searches since that post debuted has anyone searched for photos of her nude. Considering another of my site’s top search terms is “marge simpson porn”, that  factoid sticks out. Even more surprising when learning the folks looking for Marge and Homer in flagranti are overwhelmingly from the most repressive Muslim countries.

In other words, Bachmaniacs are looking for relatively demure photos of a semi-real, trim, Minnesota soccer mom is a swimsuit, but people in even more repressed societies are going for full-on cartoon on cartoon sex (apologies to Rick Santorum).

I think it’s safe to say that most Bachmann followers are a little to the right … well, maybe far right … oh, who the hell are we kidding? They’ve gone so far right they’ve almost completed the circle and are closing in on Obama’s left. They’re pretty straight-laced. It’s an uber-evangelical crowd. Pat Robertson is a liberal to the Michelicans. They’re the core anti-gay marriage, have sex only for procreation, Planned Parenthood funding stripper cabal.

Could it be they’re so repressed they can’t allow themselves the pleasure of seeing an admittedly handsome MILF in her all together? Do they get a thrill when switching fantasies from  Michele in June Cleaver pearls and Republican cloth coat to a senior member of the Swedish Bikini Team? Is that just enough, but not too much temptation? Do they fear they’ll have to join Weiner’s wiener in therapy if they choose God-endowed skin over a Minnesota overcoat?

What does the gay-fearing Missus think about it? Does she see Michele as the Devil‘s Temptress come to steal her man or tempt him into a wide stance in the wrong public toilet? Are Daddy’s impure thoughts the same as a disgusting Congressoconstituent tete a tete with her church deacon hubby?

And when you compare these sex-addled, but demure searchers for skin to their Muslim counterparts, why is one repressed Devil’s spawn so much less repressed given the opportunity to gaze on the Minnesota Mom anonymously and privately? Could it be those evil 72 Virgins at work? Vile harpies!

There is a final solution to this unholy masturbation fantasy though, “Lock ‘em all up in FEMA concentration camps.”

Well helloooo new search phrase!

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

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