Don’t Do Unto Others As They May Decide to Do Unto You

American Christians are quite vocal in the belief they’re oppressed, but it’s hard to feel their pain. They’re the overwhelming majority in this country. Virtually every member of every legislative body and every elected representative is Christian. Their lobbies are as potent as any on K St. The government funds them by not taxing them. They routinely work to defeat bills clear majorities want and that deprive citizens – sometimes other Christians – of their civil rights.

If that’s oppression, sign me up. It sounds like a sweet deal.

However, there are persecuted and oppressed Christians. For example, many countries with real zero tolerance for anything other than their God and prophet. They sometimes force Christians from their homes, turn them into refugees, or kill them.

Meanwhile, American Christians busy themselves with important issues like the proper etymology of Christmas v. Holiday. Living in their secure homes and working in their secure jobs they feel it’s their God-given right to rewrite history books, let pedophiles escape unpunished, or denigrate science because it doesn’t completely jibe with their Bible.

There’s no doubt the intolerance against Christians in countries like Iraq is awful. It’s the tyranny of the majority directed against the few. But except for the degree of modern persecution (the Christians don’t exactly have a bloodless history either), how is that any different from the tyranny of the American majority against the minority here?

I’m not a Christian and I’m sure there are many Christians who’d argue I have no right to an opinion about their religion. However, I’d point out that by the same logic, Christians have no right to an opinion about Islam or me or Druids. But, they never seem shy about exercising the same freedoms they seem unwilling to share with anyone other than themselves.

It is the Christian Sabbath, the last one before the holiest of Christian holy days. Whether you call it Christmas, the holidays, or Festivus, it seems like a good time for Christians, indeed everyone, regardless of religion or the lack thereof, to borrow the concepts of peace and harmony espoused in the Bible, the Quran, and most other religious texts in the world.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

 

 

 

Michele Bachmann Thinks Obama Has a God Problem

One of the few bright spots – perhaps the only bright spot – since the Presidential elections is the absence of the annual calls for an anti-flag burning amendment or the “if you don’t wear a flag pin you’re the Anti-Christ” movement. Of course, we still have the War on Christmas, but even Bill O’Reilly’s heart doesn’t seem to be in it this year.

But take heart America, there’s always one loon with Orly Taitzian persistence who’ll never give up on the inane…Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Dumbassasota).

Big surprise, huh?

Dear God, Who Aren’t in Speeches…
This time her special crusade is that Obama doesn’t say God enough – an ‘issue’ so spectacularly stupid, even John Boehner can see it. And to compound the asshattery, her Christian sensibilities were offended by a speech in which Obama actually used the word God – four times by my count.

Go figure.

Bachmann and some in the Congressional Prayer Caucus wrote a letter (.pdf file) to The Messiah™ objecting to his incorrect citing of the phrase, E pluribus unum as our national motto. Nay, nay they say, tis really In God We Trust, as if God’s name isn’t already invoked enough for the American Taliban.

Of course, they are correct. Their Christian forebearers, in 1955,  parted a sea of people who didn’t give a whit to officialize the motto and print it on money because, well, religion and money go together like stink and sh*t.

So OK, the O-Man – or more precisely his speechwriters – don’t know their ass from their motto. If Bachmann wants to criticize that, so be it, she IS correct. But isn’t Obama a bit distracted by a country going down the tubes like a hairball in a freshly plunged toilet? Shouldn’t Bachmann be just a tad worried about such things too.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Earmarklessness
Of course, there are better things for Bachmann, the Congressional Prayer Caucus, and President Careless Bear to do. For example, Bachmann’s crusade against earmarks. Apparently not aware of it herself, some people actually listened to her for once and went along. The problem was – oops – that meant she wouldn’t get any earmarks either. So, she’s decided to “redefine earmarks” in much the same way Christians redefined the national motto as In God We Trust.

Oddly, I’m actually heartened by this news. It only confirms just how goobulent she and her followers are and provides a nice comedic respite from The Party of Hell No and The Party of Pusillanimous Pussies. Clearly, Jay Leno has a thing or two to learn about writing a good comedy monologue.

Michelle, expect a letter from me soon. Your dedication to the public service of making your fellow citizens laugh their asses off in the face economic collapse and an outbreak of leaking wikis is admirable. In fact, it may be the only rock left for an unstable nation to attach itself to.

Thanks Rep. Bachmann, the people of America salute you!

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

Elections and the God Factor

By now most have seen, or at least heard about, the ad that Jack Conway (D-KY) is running to attack Rand Paul (R-KY) on religion. Conway took, what I consider to be, an objectionable last-ditch effort to discredit Rand Paul. In a race where Paul has been consistently leading Conway by 4-8 points (depending on the poll), Conway was clearly desperate to hit Paul and hit him hard.

For those who are not familiar with the ad, Conway attacks Rand Paul’s membership in a “secret society that mocked Christianity” and allegedly called the Holy Bible a “hoax.” The ad also mentioned references to the now famous Aqua-Buddha supposed worship.  

Make no mistake, this post is in no way an endorsement for Rand Paul. I find myself agreeing with Jack Conway on many more things than Paul, however this lowball attack ad campaign is ridiculous. Religion should be disregarded from political elections and a heavier focus should be placed on policy issues, and what candidates are going to bring to the office they are wishing to hold (however that would be in a perfect world).  

On the other hand, from a recent episode of Hardball Chris Mathews (like him or not) pointed out that what Conway used in his ad, albeit distasteful, has yet to be proven wrong.  Rand Paul avoids discussing the issue and the voters in Kentucky don't seem too distraught by the accusations (at least not enough to put polls in Conway's favor).  

This provides a perfect segue for the latest installment of religious-based smear tactics, courtesy of everyone’s favorite millionaire: John Raese.

Raese, who has already piled a wholesome $2.4 Million of his own money into his campaign, is starting to realize he’s in trouble. The polls show Manchin up anywhere between 2 and 5 points, and Raese has begun to panic. Where to turn from here? How does a plutocrat of questionable residency appeal to the West Virginia voter base?

With just ten days before the November mid-term elections, one of the closest and most important Senate races in the country has entered the realm of “silly.”

Republican U.S. Senate John Raese affirmed his support for Lance Schultz, president of the West Virginia Conservative Fund. Mr. Schultz criticized Mr. Manchin, saying the governor supports cap and trade legislation. He added that any candidate that supports such legislation “denies the existence of God, denies the truth of His work.”

“Well I tell you, you can’t have any better support than Lance Schultz,” Mr. Raese said following the event.

(Source: The State Column)

Granted Raese did not claim directly that Manchin denies the existence of God, he didn’t denounce it either. The most baffling part of this quote is that Joe Manchin is an outspoken critic of the Cap and Trade Legislation (he literally shoots a hole in the bill)

Hopefully, John Raese will take the higher road and not pursue the issue any further. It’s a shame when candidates get so desperate that they have to question the opponent’s personal faith in God to score political points.

(cross-posted from MyFDL)

Christine O’Donnell: Dear God, Change Your Mind

During her short time on the political stage, Christine O’Donnell has generated such incredible buffoonery she could start an “All Christine, All the Time” cable channel. Rupert Murdoch might want to talk to her about it. They seem to be made for each other – a win/win of biblically crapulent, synergistic proportions.

Almost everything that comes out of Chritine’s mouth is hilarious. Sometimes it’s in a Gracie Allen bubblehead sort of  way – “Hey, I dabbled in the witchcraft. My oh my, silly old me!” Sometimes it’s in a weird Kids in the Hall sort of way – “I’ll crrrrush your head and your evil masturbating ways too!” But, she actually believes some of the gooferous stuff she says and expects the rest of us to as well.

Her latest political/religious clone of a statement rivals her contention that scientists have developed mice with human brains. After taking her campaign lumps repeatedly, and responded with a series of demonstrably untrue statements or dubious “facts”, she still hasn’t gotten the kind of uncritical, Sharron Angle-style “leave me alone and don’t embarrass me” coverage she craves – or as media-savvy Sharron says, “I only want them to ask the questions I want to answer.”

Bring Out the Big Guy

“OUCH!” It’s time to bring out the Big Guy, personal friend and savior of non-Muslim Tea Partiers and Republicans everywhere.

Christine stopped by the Christian Broadcasting Network to explain why she stays in a political race that is turning her into a laughing stock.

As often happens with religious zealots dressed in right wing, fringe-bedecked vestments, she said God didn’t wanna let her quit. “…you see that if it weren’t for faith, when all logic said it’s time to quit, we pursued, we marched on, because we knew God was not releasing us to quit,” she said, referring to herself in the third person.

Christine, you’d have been better off to stop at logic before playing the God card.

As a young man questioning my own faith, I used to think about the many inconsistencies I saw in religious dogma. For example, if two football teams prayed before a game to win, how was it possible for one team to win, the other to lose, and not question how one  got short-changed on their “faith” and fervent prayers that they would win?

My religious betters gave many reasons for this, most of them seeming  specious to me.

“Obviously, one team believed more strongly and therefore God granted them their wish,” went one explanation. “God was demonstrating that not all prayers come true, even if you fervently do your best to make them happen,” went another. When the answers I got didn’t seem to match the questions I had, I was often treated to the all-purpose, “God works in mysterious ways,” explanation.

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with believing there is no contradiction there. There’s nothing wrong with believing you got the short end of the political coverage stick – even while not considering the stupid things you’ve said. However, there is something troubling about blaming illogical decisions on God.

It’s Unfair to God
First, it’s unfair to God to put him in such a tenuous position. He has enough problems. Second, it gives you a convenient out every time something doesn’t go your way. “Hey, it wasn’t my fault. I talked to the Big Guy and he said it was OK for me to fudge my educational background“. Or, George the Lesser’s penchant for “talking to God” only to be told everything was hunky dory and he should just keep on keeping on as the country went to hell around him.

There’s a reason it’s good advice to not mix religion and politics. More often than not, one has nothing – as in Christine’s case – with the other. It’s also common that biblical explanations often doesn’t hold much sway with voters, even devoutly religious ones.  And when you say that you talked to God and he told you that it’s perfectly OK to, say, deprive Muslims of the same constitutional rights you reserve for yourself, many people are going to think your celestial cell phone needs some repair.

There is a place for religion in politics, just as there is a place for politics in the pulpit. However, in the middle of a campaign where your are partially representing yourself as God’s chosen candidate, you’re out of bounds and it’s unlikely you’ll feel the need to represent the majority of us who want to keep their politics and religion unmixed if you are elected.

Let’s just hope God changes his mind.

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

 

 

If He Walks Like a Muslim and Talks Like a Muslim…

HEATHEN! – I’m not saying he’s a Muslim, but he sure looks to be a born one to me.

There’s nothing surprising about recent poll numbers indicating  more people are “confused” about The Messiah’s™ true religion than ever before. They aren’t confused. Somewhere in that lump of random matter that passes for their brains they know the truth. They’re just being aggressively ignorant. They’re willingly allowing themselves to become the peas in a big chaos theory shell game.

The shills are the usual suspects on these types of things. Orly Taitz still draws a crowd, even after the Supremes slapped her down. The Grizzly Whisperer™ still has a big, fact-challenged following. Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton are always on the scene when something “ethnic” needs to be opined upon – even if it’s not about their ethnic group. But the gold standard in national matters of religion are the Grahams – first, daddy Billy and now, son Franklin.

Running Like Ecclesiastical Chickens
For my money, Frank doesn’t have nearly the panache of the old man. I can remember when Billy laid hands on people. By God, they’d walk, hell, run like ecclesiastical chickens with their heads cut off. Ernest Angley couldn’t hold a candle to them, even with the help of his “miracle healing cloth”, free with every $19.99 donation. But what Frank lacks in genetic charlatanism he more than makes up for with the greasy rhetorical skills of a Newt Gingrich or any random member of the Fox & Friends staff.

When CNN’s John King asked about Obama’s Christian bona fides, Frank didn’t bat an eye while calling Obama a part-time Christian, but true born Muslim.

“The seed is passed through the father,” Frank said. “He was born a Muslim. His father was a Muslim; the seed of Muslim is passed through the father like the seed of Judaism is passed through the mother…his father gave him an Islamic name.”

Case closed, except for that little conversion loophole.

“But the confusion is because his father is a Muslim; he was born a Muslim. The Islamic world sees the president as one of theirs. That’s why Qadhafi calls him his son. They see him as a Muslim,” he said. “But, of course, the president says he is a Christian, and we just have to accept it as that, ” he added skeptically.

“We just have to accept it as that.” Accepting as in the way we file lawsuits to make him repeatedly produce birth certificates or prove he doesn’t want to throw all of his detractors in FEMA-run concentration camps.

Latching Onto the Christian Fakir
See, Frank and his ilk know that truth isn’t really important if you want to control the conversation. As long as you mix that smidge of doubt with a spoonful of sugary Kool Aid mix, people will want to believe. That’s why millions of otherwise sane people shower this dunderdick with donations and prayer requests. They have troubles, real troubles, so they’ll latch onto anything that puts their minds at rest – even if he is some sort of Christian fakir.

“Them danged Mooslums want to build one of them heathen moss-quet things up at Ground Zero. That just chaps me raw,” they might say. “I wish I knew who was boin’ all this so I could keep and eye on ‘em”

And there, on the TV machine, is Franklin Graham. He’s possessed of a golden, silken tongue and he’s telling Mabel and Irv that the culprit is that damn half-breed Muslim/faux Christian President. “Far be it from me to say he’s a heathen,” he implies. “He SAYS he’s a Christian so we’ll just have to take his word, but (in a tiny voice) you know those Muslims lie a lot”.

Ignorance of this type has been around since the dawn of man – whether you believe that happened 400,000 years ago or 6,000 years ago. And shit-slingers like the Grahams have been around just as long, serving up streaming heaps of the best crap people want to believe.

So don’t be surprised at events like this. They will happen as long as there are people who want to volunteer as idiots and marginally smarter people who want to enable them.

And the worst part is the rubes refuse to see that shit for shinola is a lose/lose bet.

Cross Posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

 

 

 

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