All my so called leftist friends are freaking out on Al Gore's new movie. They've become like moonies or fundamentalists preaching the unimpeachable gospel. Such trivialities as art, music, and other pleasures of life fade away for them and they only feel worthwhile when they are convincing others to rue their ways. I'm glad they're doing it. Even if it turns out Global Warming was another Y2K, the more lucid about consequences society gets the better.
I've rued my ways for years now. I only spend about twenty bucks a month on my Honda Civic for gas. Almost everything I need is close by. West Hollywood was the first city to have citywide recyling so I've been doing that since I was a kid. I turn off lights and keep the thermostat down enough that I sweat in summer and shiver in winter, and I try to keep my friends up to date on what's going on.
My so called rightest friends are thinking the apocalypse is just around the corner. They may not agree with the Dominion Theology extremist point of view that natural resources should be gobbled up as fast as possible because it brings us closer to Jesus, but they can't really muster any enthousiasm about environmental causes when the apocalyptic end times are so near. Again.
Death and destruction on both sides, no wonder people would rather eat junk food and watch American Idol. Now, I've been called a hippie, of course. By friends and enemies. There are some resemblances. I do have long unruly hair. I do like Hindu and Egyptian religious symbols. Sex and intoxication are pastimes I enjoy, too.
But it used to be that hippie was pretty closely defined. Ronnie Van Zandt may have looked like he was a hippie but any real hippie could tell you Ronnie was really more a redneck. I'm more clean freak redneck than hippie myself, and despite my long hair, my guts are punk.
Lately I've seen a resurgence of the word hippie. From military guys threatening to beat up emo kids in MySpace Fuck the Troops groups to political pundits, the word hippie is back in vogue, right there with commie and faggot as a synonym for words like democrat, liberal, feminist, and pro-choice.
At first witnessing this curious turn of events I thought: what the hell are these people talking about? What hippies? There were never that many hippies in the first place. There are even fewer hippies now. What the hell was a hippie? Someone who adopted the Native American spiritual relationship with Mother Nature? A smelly horny long haired drug addict? Anybody who prefers peace to war? Was every person at Woodstock a hippie?
If you are reading this you are probably a hippie in the eyes of the neocons who are somehow still locked not only in the Crusades but also in the Sixties. They are still enacting some sort of primal revenge in the ultimate high school reunion horror melodrama (because hippies got blow jobs, I'm guessing from the constant reference to blow jobs whenever Bill Clinton is mentioned).
Hey, it's a tough thing not to get a blowjob in high school. Makes a man feel inferior. Even when you get powerful enough to be able to force or pay for any kind you want, well, it's still not high school. The primal rejection lives on. And it never would have been there if those damn hippies had just played by the rules.
Punk rockers, queers, tattoo lovers, emo kids, people who care about the rights of animals, most comedians and all actors and actresses, porn fans, skaters, pot smokers, nature lovers, vegetarians, most musicians, artists, people who think South Park is funny, South Park itself, organic food enthusiasts, most black and brown people, Buddhists, Moslems, athiests, and anyone else who isn't white, christian and republican, you are hippies one and all.
Welcome to being a hippie. If I may sound like a hippie for a moment, brothers and sisters, let your freak flag fly, we should be learning from each other, sharing information, we should find out what we can do when we work together. We are a community with common goals, common sense goals. We just want to have good lives and pass on as much as we can to the children, right, man?
To quote that long haired womanizing probably pot smoking reincarnation believing in Paris lovin' (and I don't mean Hilton but he would have if he could have and I bet he would have scored too) hippie Benjamin Franklin that freaky mofo: "We must all hang together, or assuredly we will all hang separately."