Yesterday, I sent this email to a good friend who is a Repubican:
"What's with your guys lately?
A casino cocktail waitress told police a drunken U.S. Rep. Jim Gibbons grabbed her, shoved her against a wall and threatened her in a Las Vegas parking garage after she rebuffed his advances at a restaurant Friday night."
He responded with the following:
"Democrats getting desperate circulate false stories. Remember Democrats are the original dirty politicians."
Here's how I responded:
You're right. Democrats do make up stories about Republican politicians. For example, I am a Democrat, and I made up a something about a Republican politician. It's embedded somewhere in these true stories about real Republican politicians. See if you can spot the one I made up. C'mon, it will be fun!
There have been thousands of true stories told about crooked Republicans, so my made up story may be hard to find. To keep everyone motivated, I'll give $25 to the political campaign of the choice of the first person that correctly identifies what I made up about Republicans.
Two members of Congress, both Republicans, have pled guilty to corruption charges-- one from Ohio and the other from California. At least the one from California had the courtesy to step down from Congress when he pled guilty. The other one from Ohio has pled guilty to corruption charges, but he hasn't stepped down yet and is still in Congress! Sheesh, you mean to tell me this person's only mission in life is to collect a salary for being a crooked Republican politician? You have to admire that.
The Speaker of the House is under suspicion--there are many witnesses, some of them Republicans-- that he covered up Mark Foley's pediphilia and child molestation. There is no doubt that Mark Foley sexually harassed kids. There are other Republicans, besides Dennis Hastert, in the House that knew about Foley's behavior and did nothing.
The former Speaker of the House, Republican Tom Delay, has been indicted for laundering money, so he could get more Republicans elected in Texas, so he could gerrymander Texas, so they could elect more Republicans to the House of Representatives, so they could hold a thin majority, so they could do really stupid things, like spend like drunken sailors on shore leave (my apologies to the Navy; this is not a fair analogy at all) and put us into serious debt with the Chinese.
Sheesh, that's two Speakers in a row. That's historic.
The chief fund-raiser and lobbyist for the Republicans, Jack Abramoff, has been indicted for defrauding Indian Tribes of millions and millions of dollars. Some of these tribes consisted of desperately poor and powerless people. Some of them had small casino's closed down by Republicans in Congress, who took Abramoff money. These millionaires threw desperately poor Indians out of work to earn a buck.
Grover Norquist, the Godfather of the Republican Party--the man who tried to get FDR taken off the dime in favor of Reagan--has been implicated in several scandals, including helping Abramoff launder Indian money, so that it would look like conservative Christians were donating money to close down gambling at Indian Tribes, but in reality the money was coming from other Indian Tribes--that's right the competition. The competition wanted to close down other locations, from poorer rival tribes. Oh yeah, Grover Norquist's wife, who was hired as a procurement officer by the Department of the Interior, has now been implicated in a corruption scheme.
There is a Republican Congressman in Pennsylvania, whose wife denies that her husband ever choked his mistress and has demanded that her husband's challenger, a Democrat, stop talking about how her husband choked his mistress. How weird is that? Sheet! Not even Hilary was humiliated this much. Oh, well, you don't believe me? So here's the washingTON POST! (read it like, so Here isssssss Johhhhhny! It sounds better.) http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/con
There is another Republican Congressman in Pennsylvania, whose daughter's offices were raided by the FBI just last week--an FBI controlled by Republicans--because the Congressman is suspected of using his daughter to accept kickbacks from lobbyists. Have you guessed his name? That's right Curt Weldon! Very good! Well, that one was for real and I created a link for the last one, which if you check you will know the last one is for real.
Then there is Richard Pombo (R CA), who paid for his families' summer vacation--a four week long trek in an RV across America's parklands--with TAX PAYERS $! Pombo is the head of a federal Congressional committee on federal park land. Ironically, Pombo has tried to eliminate many of our federal parks. Commenting on his summer vacation, Pombo was overheard to say, "Hey! If youze gonna git rid of em, mize well see em first!" Sheesh there is more. It turns out that Pombo is connected to Jack Abramoff and there's other creepy stuff at http://www.sunlightfoundation.com/taxono
Then, there are other Republican Congressmen, who are under investigation involving bribery charges relating to the Ambramoff scandal. Who knows how many are involved. Do you think that with all those millions Abramoff only corrupted a few of them?
So, if you are the first person to respond with the correct answer, I will donate $25.00 to the congressional candidate of your choice. C'mooooooon proooooogresives. Don't let me down!
How to apply for the Great Republican Corruption Give Away: Be the first person to reply to this email with the correct answer or be the first person to post a comment to my diary, "The Great Republican Corruption Give Away" at my.dd.com with the correct answer.