by Matt Stoller, Fri Oct 27, 2006 at 12:03:41 PM EDT
I'm in awe of the GOP GOTV machine. It's amazing. The Republicans have a tightly knit and centralized organization. When Karl Rove speaks, GOPers jump. The RNC, from their lair in the Virginia suburbs, control every action of every volunteer, in fact every word that comes out of every Republicans' mouth. This machine is beautiful, it is magnificent, it sweats perfume and gold. One of my friends had a fight with his wife, and the GOP GOTV machine came by with some pie and good advice. But it's not just nice. Don't make the GOP GOTV machine angry or Karl Rove will use his mutant powers to morph into a 1000 foot tall SwiftBoatzilla, and he'll have all the Democratic voters paralyzed on election day by using his control of the Matrix.
As for us? Well, there's no way to say this nicely. Bob Shrum has every Democrat under his spell of incompetence, controlling every single word that any of us utter. You may think your comments are your own, but they are not. You are writing them because Shrum planted a chip in your brain and he wants you to write those words. It's worse than that, actually. Democrats shackle James Bond a little too loosely, and then leave the scene to cackle. We kill our volunteers. We constantly get wedgies from smarter, cooler, bigger kids. We never use deodorant. We just hired Saddam as our new spokesperson. We are the kid that never gets away with it. We've never kissed a girl. We get creepy entreaties for threesomes at Match.com and JDate. Sucks to be us, doesn't it?
Does that help clarify the differences between the two party infrastructures? I hope so.