Barack, I always suspected that you had nefarious intentions, and now we all know for sure, thanks to the delightfully informed John McCain. After all, he's a smart guy.  He says you're more extreme than Bernie Sanders.  And we all know that ole Bernie is a pinko-commie-Jane Fonda-loving-gay rights supporting-believer in the Constitution. Poor Bernie, he just doesn't know how insane it is to supports rights for people.

John McCain made an unscheduled trip to East Germany, ahead of Barack Obama's upcoming trip to Europe.

Speaking to reporters, McCain said this:

I plan on visiting the Berlin Wall and discuss freedom with the Communist guards that are not allowing freedom to spread over the border. I also plan on visiting West Germany and having discussion with President Helmut Kohl.

A McCain spokesman also reiterated that he plans on visting the Soviet Union and plans on meeting with President Yeltsin either in Leningrad or Stalingrad. After the Soviet trip, McCain plans to continue his European tour

We hope to convince the republics of Slovenia and Croatia that secession from Yugoslavia is not in the best interest of the world and that America will not recognize their independence

When reporters informed McCain that they are already independent, in the U.N., Slovenia was in the EU and NATO, and Croatia is on membership path, McCain clarified:

I mispoke. What I meant was that we will be discussing avoiding independence of Bosnia  to avoid a minor conflict that might be triggered in that region.

Other stops for McCain include Constantinople, Zaire in Africa, Burma, Kurdistan, and the newly independent nation of Quebec.

McCain advisors state:

We hope that this tour shows that we are serious about foreign policy and we will strive to keep America safe.

crossposted at daily kos

You will find that my demands are not unreasonable and are consistent with the progressive platform that you have advocated since you entered the political stage.

I am continuously amazed that anyone can support Barack Obama after what has happened in this election cycle. The reasons to vote against him are innumerable. The reasons to vote for McCain are obvious. Keep reading to get the TRUE picture of this election.

McCain is a serious man. He is so serious that when he tries to tell a joke it just doesn't work. For instance, one time he told a joke about Chelsea Clinton's father being Janet Reno. That didn't go over too well. Another time he said about his wife, "At least I don't smear on the makeup like a trollop, you c*nt." See, too serious to tell a funny joke. He tries though.

On the other hand, Obama has shown that he is a bad man. Why just the other day, some comedian made some tasteless jokes at an Obama fundraiser and Obama didn't whip him off the stage. I don't care if Obama didn't make the joke. How can you compare McCain's real attempts to seem funny to Obama's obvious sexism? Surely, what some comedian says is more important than what the candidates say?

Today Obama blasted McCain as completely out of touch with American reality and the current and future problems confronting Americans.

He mentioned McCains belief  that the economic woes were strictly "psychological" and said at least McCain admitted he doesn't know much about the economy.

Obama further said that "I don't know what's worse that McCain doesn't know that he voted against providing contraception for women twice, or doesn't know whether or not women should actually have coverage for birth control if men get federally subsidized viagra".

Finally, Obama said that it shows how "out of touch McCain is with reality' in that he only now seems to realize how social security works when McCain called social security an "absolute disgrace". Obama said "the senator doesn't seem to realize that social security is the most successful elderly anti-poverty program of all time and has always worked the way it does today.  If it's such a disgrace why didn't McCain do anything about it during his many decades in Washington".

In order to combat the legacy press and media which has ignored many normally campaign killing gaffes, Obama has started a new site "McCain'sMediaBase" to expose the real McCain by using his own words on a single web site on issues important to the american people.

http://blog.washingtonpost.com/thefix/20 08/07/wolfson_to_fnc.html

Howard Wolfson is joining Lanny Davis at Faux news, to, as Howard put it:

""Fox has the largest audience in cable television -- many of its viewers are independents who will help decide the next election," said Wolfson of his decision. "It's critically important for strong progressives to be talking to and offering analysis to that audience."

I have a confession to make. I'm not a Clinton supporter turned Obama backer.

I'm just a lowly concern troll.

And yet, I'm a diabolical genius because I tricked nearly all of you. Naïve fools! But don't worry, I'm going to tell you how. I wouldn't want you to make the grave error of mistaking concern trolling for genuine support ever again. For all you Clinton supporters out there, let this diary be your guide to concern trolling. Obama supporters are all 13 years old, so even though I'm sitting here, flat out telling them I'm a concern troll, they still won't get it. Their young, puerile, undeveloped minds still won't process it - kids have poor reading comprehension, you know, and they all have ADD nowadays, anyway. Thank god we're all old, wizened, spinsters. So pull up a chair, put your 30 cats in your lap, and read carefully.

Barack Obama announced today that in honor of the July 4 celebration of America's revolt "against taxation without respresentation" he will join the Pray at the Pump Movement.

The PAPM, founded by Rocky Twyman, a member of the Seventh Day Adventists, has been holding prayer vigils at Exxon and Shell stations across the country. Smiling and obviously excited Obama told the impromptu presser:

I was a community organizer and I know what this involves. This is one man making a difference. It is faith based and it is spiritual. It is a man of God doing God's work. Who can be against God?

Obama refused to disclose which gas station he will turn up at in the next few days. His press corps immediately launched into a flurry of speculation. So far Pray at  the Pumpers have hit Exxon and Shell stations. But Wednesday they turned their prayers on the Embassy  of Saudi Arabia in Washington D.C.

Obama announced in response to a question about the Embassy pray-in.

"No. No. No.  I don't think praying at the Saudi Embassy, is a good idea The Saudis understand our concerns well enough. We don't need to seem to attack them directly. Besides they are Muslims. They could care less about a bunch of Jesus freaks.

He then told one of the women in the press throng:

I don't understand your question, sweetie, No one said Jesus freaks. You misheard me. Easy to do out here in the wind.   I am a devout man of faith. I take my religion and my preacher seriously. That would be contrary to everything I believe.

On the issue of his beliefs, another reporter questioned the presumed Democratic nominee about his stand on Iraq. Obama has been reported as saying recently that based on his upcoming visit there, his view of when the troops might come home, could be adjusted.  He explained:

One simply cannot  know in advance what sort of expedient position the President will be required to take. But I am sure all of my supporters and the American people can rest easy in the knowledge that I have no qualms changing my position to suit whatever situation arises.

Obama then blew the woman reporter a kiss and turned away from the impromptu presser. As he stepped into the waiting limousine and the reporters melted away, one bystander was seen picking a paper off the ground. It was headed:

Senator Obama's Impromptus Remarks on Pray at the Pumpers. Staff note: Remember, this should appear to be spontaneous.

Twyman, who prompted the first national campaign aimed at getting African Americans to become bone marrow donors, who still did not know of Obama's support, was reported later as saying:

I think we have just entered a new phase. We were in the prayerful phase, but now we're going into a more activist phase, because we feel that whole faith without works is dead.

John Neurohr from the Center for American Progress, a liberal think tank, has a different approach to managing the high gas prices.

There is little, if anything, the average person can do to reduce gas prices generally. What they can do is reduce their personal dependence on gasoline by carpooling and utilizing public transportation.

Obama rejected the riding the bus idea. Not prayerful and faith-based enough. He wants to win evangelicals to his side, and praying at the pump is by far the best publicity op.

http://www.cnsnews.com/ViewNation.asp?Pa ge=/Nation/archive/200807/NAT20080703a.h tml

***Disclaimer. Senator Obama has held no such press conference and his views on Pray at the Pump are unknown at this time. However, while I support him because he is the Democratic Party nominee, I can readily imagine this happening.