Doubts About Feminism, 1971, Age 25

I was very active in the feminist movement of the late 1960s and early 1970s. Although I described myself as a radical feminist, I always had serious misgivings. I explore them in this journal entry from October 1971. I have not edited it, because it gives a snapshot of a particular point in time. At the time I was a happily married woman working as an Editing Supervisor at Basic Books, which pubished social science and psychiatric books.

Are men necessarily the enemies? Adopting that logic, couldn't women be categorized as the enemies? Must there be an enemy? Must the movement have a scapegoat? There is a danger of generalizing for all women from a few women's (typical, atypical) experience with men. Perhaps most men are baffled rather than hostile. They have been socialized to believe the myths, so they do believe them. Why does the movement assume that their motives are vicious?

Perhaps the myths are harsher than the realities. Individual women are treated better and respected more than social mythology about women dictates. The movement shouldn't present what seems to be a fatal choice: true autonomy or loving, intimate relationships with men. If all men are despaired of, shouldn't most women be despaired of? Have women tried hard enough to explain themselves? Or would they rather renounce men than fight through to an accommodation?

The movement stresses relationships with women because they are easier (at least for many women). There is no need to confront the enemy directly. Women often have bravely attacked men in coffee klatches, but they then have gone along with their own men, having worked out some of their hostilities with other women. I don't understand; because of my five brothers, I have never had any trouble confronting men. (At that time, NY feminism was rather obsessed with lesbianism. Happily married heterosexual women felt rather defensive about their lives.)

At times Women's Liberation is vulgarly careerist. There is very little speculation on changing the nature of work. There is no recognition that women's jobs, not men's jobs, may be the desirable jobs of the future. Many dominant economic values are accepted. A job's value is measured by its pay or its status. There is total denial that raising young children is a uniquely demanding job, calling forth an infinite range of talents and imagination.

Feminists sometimes lack a strong grasp on job alternatives. I am frustrated with so much loose talk about expressing creativity in jobs. Don't women recognize what most workers do, not only blue and white collar workers, but professional and managerial ones as well? Creativity is the value much stressed by woman's magazines. Be a creative homemaker. The movement often seems to accept this definition of creativity. There is no recognition that post-revolution many, if not most, women might have less creative jobs than they do now. Volunteers are often allowed more autonomy and outlet for imaginative change than regular staff would be permitted.

The emphasis could have been completely different. Feminists need not have accepted the male value that your job is everything, completely determining your value and what people think of you. Alternatives include--more leisure, 25 hour week for everyone, change hierarchical nature of work, decentralize it, recognize that much work is unnecessary in a more rational society that won't need 100 brands of detergents, toothpastes, and feminine hygiene deodorants. Many jobs now are completely unproductive. Most jobs are not inherently creative. What is a creative job anyway? The solution may be to give people more time, real time, to be creative off the job.

My close friend said almost any job is preferable to staying home with the kids. That is a preposterous statement, particularly from a so-called radical who pays lip service to human values. That is not to say that childrearing as it is now arranged is perfect. We might benefit from more stress on communal childraising, not necessarily so parents can get a "job," but because it may be a better way to raise children from both parents' and children's point of view. I am the oldest of six; growing up in a large family with a positive experience. My parents seemed to have less need to control our direction in life than the parents of my friends with fewer siblings.

The nature of work must change in our society. Women should be at the forefront of the battle for change. Autonomy and self-sufficiency cannot be pictured as depending on capitalist recognition of worth. Rather the economy should be made to value and reward the kinds of work that women do. Men have problems with women's lib on this point. They can't seem to believe that women would want to have equality in men's world. How many men would trade roles if only the objective nature of what they had to do was the consideration and not society's evaluation of it?

Perhaps the major emphasis must be on changing society's evaluation of women. Otherwise, when women enter or take over traditionally men's fields, they would only decline in relative prestige. It can't be difficult or challenging job if mere women can do it. Emphasis should not be on merely putting women in out-of-home jobs. The nature of reward for jobs should change. Money must cease to be the major incentive. The gap between low salaries and high salaries needs to be dramatically smaller. If raising young children had prestige of being a pediatrician or a child psychologist, for example, and it need not be done in social isolation, might not women and men feel differently about it?



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Re: Doubts About Feminism, 1971, Age 25 (2.00 / 1)

That's an interesting journal entry, probably an almost exact picture of the Zeitgeist of the time in American feminism.

I thought it was more obvious at that time than you portray that the general political strategy was to generate a maximal maintainable gender "contrast"/difference as a movement.  (The point being negotiating leverage and the stance or pose of independence required for that.)  That any individual straight woman would live that with purity was hopefully not the serious expectation- though the horror stories told seem to say that many thought it was.

I don't see anything wrong with setting the goal that women do any and all particular jobs.  Of course 80% of the jobs in the world are undesirable, but that's not the point.  The point is that all should become possible, because that's when choice becomes meaningful.  Once any job is open, then deciding to stay at home and raise children becomes a free choice and gains that dignity of free choice.


by killjoy on Sat Jul 12, 2008 at 01:40:01 AM EST

Re: Doubts About Feminism, 1971, Age 25 (none / 0)

Society evaluation or money?

Women shouldn't be sitting around waiting for a stamp of approval of their value.

I'll take the money.


"No self-respecting woman should wish or work for the success of a party that ignores her." - Susan B. Anthony
by feelfree on Sat Jul 12, 2008 at 01:43:41 AM EST

Re: Doubts About Feminism, 1971, Age 25 (2.00 / 1)

At the time I hoped that men and women would be equally free to raise children because the work week was going to be shorter. Both a shorter work week and equal parental involvement in childrearing seem to have disappeared as progressive goals.

Often the ideal seems to be that every child will be in government subsidized day care from three months on. I am highly dubious about daycare for children under three. Hell, my five year old couldn't cope with all-day kindergarten, regressed to the terrible twos when she arrived home. "Mommy, I used all my goodness up in school," she cried.

Compelling babies and toddlers to adjust to group routines and expectations does not seem to be a surefire formula for raising independent, creative adults who will question authority and fight for progressive causes. A shocking number of preschoolers are being diagnosed with serious mental illness and sentenced to a lifetime of meds not tested on young children. As recently as 1993, when I was study psychopathology in social work school, we were told that bipolar disorder could only be diagnosed around college age. Now we are being told that millions of children suffer from the disease.


"For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbors, and laugh at them in our turn?"
by redstocking on Sat Jul 12, 2008 at 03:04:28 AM EST

Re: Doubts About Feminism, 1971, Age 25 (none / 0)

In urban areas, taking care of young children has too often become the job of poor immigrant women desperate enough  to work for a  minimum wage, with no benefits-- no social security, unemployment insurance, workmen's compensation, vacation, sick leave, and health insurance. Every babysitter in the playground instantly realizes I am the grandmother, not the nanny of my toddler grandson, because I am white. It  shocks me how little many affluent two-income Manhattan professionals pay their nannies. Day care centers have enormous turnover because the pay and benefits are usually so terrible. Taking care of young children has hardly gained the dignity of free choice.


"For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbors, and laugh at them in our turn?"
by redstocking on Sat Jul 12, 2008 at 03:15:43 AM EST

Re: Doubts About Feminism, 1971, Age 25 (none / 0)

At times Women's Liberation is vulgarly careerist.

Vulgarly??

Dear me, you were an elitist young thing back in the day, weren't you? ;-)

So were many of the educated women of the day-your essay reminds me of any number of women I knew back then.

OTOH, I'm very glad to have been able to have a career in engineering and don't (and didn't) see anything vulgar about it.  If it weren't for women's liberation, it would not have been possible for me.

BTW, my 2 sons are doing fine, too.


"There are two kinds of statistics: the kind you look up and the kind you make up" --Rex Stout
by LIsoundview on Sat Jul 12, 2008 at 10:30:25 AM EST

Fascinating glimpse (2.00 / 1)

I only wish I had the journal-keeping gene...

You made an interesting comment which was rather forward-looking into an issue we have today that concerns me a great deal:

growing up in a large family with a positive experience. My parents seemed to have less need to control our direction in life than the parents of my friends with fewer siblings.

You and my peers (I'm among the Youngest Boomers) and those who followed have in many cases gone into the single-over-parented-child mode.  Our best friends have two only-childs - 15 years apart because "we don't feel we can give enough love to more than one at a time".  My comment is that there is such a thing as giving too much "love".  I strongly believe we are doing our children and our culture a dis-service by taking the idea of "being a good parent" to the smothering helicopter extreme.

We have often said (to the consternation of our peers) that we "want our three children to have the opportunity to break a leg", believing that it is important for children to learn early and often that they are in charge of their worlds, and as part of this that the consequences of their actions are something they need to consider.  We raised the three of them for seven years on a Canadian lake with a dock and a beach right in the yard, had a pool in the back of the plastic development we spent this past winter and spring in and now have a canal running not twenty feet from where I sit.  We have not entombed them in life-preservers 7/24 nor erected electric barbed-wire fences around every water feature.

Even if I would not say this anyway, it has been remarked enough by others to note that they are extremely (and these days: atypically) stable and responsible children.

This is not a complete tangent on the bias issues.  We need to have more trust in ourselves and others, and be less obsessive about the monitoring and enforcement of rationality.

-chris


Motley Moose, Troll Free Blogging
by chrisblask on Sat Jul 12, 2008 at 10:43:19 AM EST

Re: Fascinating glimpse (2.00 / 1)

Dear Chris,

Bravo! I remember how I was almost tarred and feathered by my local LI friends because I let my 15 year old take her 13 year old and 9 year old sisters into Manhattan all day to attend a Simon and Garfunkel concert.  By 7, my best friend and I were walking two miles into Hempstead, the nearest big town,  to buy Nancy Drew books at the Salvation Army for 10 cents each. We had permission to spend as much time in Hempstead as we wanted. By 12 we were taking two buses and a subway into NYC. Our babysitting funds financed two trips to NYC for a broadway show each month.

The suburbs are boring places for kids too young to drive. It breaks my heart that parents won't let their young teens explore the wonders of NY. As a result, the kids don't know what they're missing. They would rather be driven to the mall.

I know my approach was right. At 23 my oldest had a job that required her to travel around the world. At 35, she has done research and gathered data in 75 major world cities. She has spent a year in Niger, 4 months in Rwanda, 2 years in Kosovo. Three months after she started that first job, her supervisor said, "I have perfect confidence that V can handle anything that can come up anywhere in the world."

Two of my girls live in Boston, one in NYC, one in Chicago. They are at home anywhere in the world.


"For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbors, and laugh at them in our turn?"
by redstocking on Sat Jul 12, 2008 at 11:28:20 AM EST
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