STAR FLEET HQ, SAN FRANCISCO (July 1, 2008) -- Although there is unquestionably much left to be discovered about life on Earth, charismatic mammals are usually well documented, and it is rare to find a new genus today -- especially from a group as intriguing as the trollus politicus, the political troll, found only on line but in increasing numbers during election years.
The most-well documented trollus is the trollus politicus concernus, the concern troll, most noted for its ability to be overly concerned about what could go wrong. Most are well meaning, and usually get over it in time. The author of this report awaits his own recovery.
Equally prevalent is the trollus politicus puritas, the purity troll, noted for its ability to sabotage the good in the service of the perfect. The most notable examples are the trollus politicus puritas markos molitsasus and the trollus politicus puritas arianus huffingtonus (although the huffingtonus is also known for marrying and divorcing gay millionaires, taking their money, and then changing political party and persuasion from one extreme to the other).
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/7/1/0 5546/22532/562/544544
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/arianna-hu ffington/memo-to-obama-moving-to-t_b_110 026.html
But today, Husya Dadi, of the California Academy of Sciences, confirmed the existence of a new genus, first discovered two weeks ago, and since multiplying in ever increasing numbers - - the trollus politicus defensus leftus, the "lefty defense troll".
"This is one of the most exciting discoveries of my career," said Dadi, who has studied the ecology, social structure, and evolution of trolls since (Al Gore encouraged and laid the legal foundation for) the invention the internet.
"The right wing defense troll has always existed - - folks like Rush and Sean and Bill, ready to turn on a dime and justify any action by any righty."
"But the lefty defense troll is the first new species of troll to be discovered in years. From the moment the first lefty denied any back peddling on public funding, or called the FISA cave-in a compromise, or agreed with McCain surrogates that Clark was 'out of line', I knew it must be a new species."
"When they started saying 'the whole Clark / McCain / Obama contretemps was unfolding according to plan', I said, 'Eureka, a new kind of troll!'"
"And now, at night, as the sun sets, from kos to mydd to tpm, you can here the mating call of the trollus politicus defensus leftus: 'He-didn't-throw-em-under-the-bus,
He-didn't-throw-em-under-the-bus, He-didn't-throw-em-under-the-bus.' It's magnificent!", said Dadi, as he returned to the muck and mire, awaiting the discovery of yet more new species of troll.
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