Clinton supporters and others connected deeply to concerns about sexism this election cycle, how can I best get more engaged in fighting the sexism I ignored for too long?  Are their sites, petitions, etc. where I can learn more and get involved?

This is one of the most open, honest diaries I've ever read. That's the thing about sexism -- a lot of people don't even seem to notice it, or they assume it isn't particularly demeaning or hurtful. People think of sexism and think of a woman's boss directly hitting on her at work, but they forget about the little things, which add up over time.

Highly recommended.

and most women have experienced this in one form or the other.  it really takes 'progressives' to embrace an issue to drive education forward.

kudos to you promise - highly rec'd!

Yep.

One case of sexism un - addressed , is one too many .

The reporting of the primary might have been biased against her but I didn't notice much sexism there , however the commentary was a different thing entirely especially on MSNBC by there major pundits.

However many folks who either don't understand it or think it is not an important issue just roll their eyes when the topic is raised.

But we can't raise objections about issues of race fast enough .

A major news network had the host of the show say a leading contender makes him feel castrated when she speaks and he wasn't even reprimanded .These type of commentary was pretty much standard on MSNBC/NBC .

If it was a race issue , I don't think he would have even thought about saying that or let alone get away with .

This is the prevailing attitude in many segments of the society in the workplace , social gatherings etc that views sexist attitudes as not much to worry about.

I was really dissapointed in Nancy Pelosi when she made the remark a couple of days , trying to minimize sexism or sexist attitude in the public arena especially in the campaign and not taking a stronger stand against it . I know there is no love lost between her and Clinton but her statement was woefully ignorant and naive. It didn't really set a high standard.

Well written diary.

appreciate and respect your honesty. Not many people are willing to share these types of 'awakenings'---

[and I really admire you for helping out in Greensburg; I had heard about it awhile ago and thought it was a really inspirational story. proud to rec.]

Very cool diary.  Rec'd.

Why isn't THIS diary on the rec list!?

Could everyone PLEASE read and rec this diary!

You are to be COMMENDED!

Progressive Blue

If so, please let us know, so we can recommend it there also.

Progressive Blue

Thank you for a wonderful, honest and inspiring diary. Hillary's campaign did raise people's consiciousness, even if they fought it :) It is interesting to watch the media now flailing around without their favorite kickball to hit on. I read this twice because it felt soooo good.  

It takes a real man or real woman to acknowledge one's own ignorance and understand the need for change.

And it is hard for some of us to speak up about it as we have been told "oh you are being silly, being sensitive" for so long and so often.

To put it in context, I don't want to hurt my friends or others who do not get it.  I had some similar issues with ethnic jokes.  Being Italian American, I came of age at a time when ethnic jokes were the rage.  When I moved west to a town where I was unique in not being white, anglo saxon protestant, I was often given the EYE-talian treatment.  Jokingly some called me WHOP, some pretended to have Italian accents, or constantly chided me with "do you know people we can hire."

If I pointed out their ignorance, some reacted with just hurt but most threw back "don't be so sensitive."  Trying to explain why ethnic insults hurt seemed to be easier than explaining why sexism hurts.  After initial defensiveness or denial, eventually it stopped.  But not so with sexism.
I am 62 and still some of friends' husbands get very angry and defensive when one tries to point out why sexism hurts.  
So maybe it will take a new generation of folks to finally end it.  Obviously we are not there yet...many of us who saw the sexism hurled at Hillary and then were railed at on the bbs for "playing victim" know we have not really "come a long way, baby."

and instead people saw you as an authority figure. I think that should open people's eyes.

Excellent diary.

Both sexism and racism are similar in that society tends to automatically and unconsciously assume a lower level of competence on the part of members of the oppressed groups. Women and minorities are both less respected,.

But there's another aspect of oppression where racism and sexism are polar opposites, and that is the degree of protection which society affords to members of the oppressed group. Women, especially white women, in our culture are less respected, in our culture, but are more protected. Black men are both less respected AND less protected.

Compare the stats on things like the homelesss population, prison population, or even suicide rates between black men and white women and they are at polar opposite extremes. White women are less respected, but are the most protected segment of society. Black men are the least protected (and thus the most truly victimized) segment of society.

I'm not trying to piddle on a valid discussion of a valid issue, but I have noticed that there's been a lot more discussion about sexism on MYDD than there has been about racism. And I can't help but think that, on a political blog such as this, that it is an attempt to reflect on the recent primary campaign where a black man challenged a white woman and won. And it's not surprising really, when you understand how racism and sexism are different, that this would be so. That doesn't make it right that it is the case, but it makes it easily understandable why it is the case.

Sounds like your foreman isn't a very good foreman.  I've built very many houses and run large construction crews.  To me the key to competence is the ability to recognize the strengths and weakness of each individual and assign them where they can be most effective. Dividing people into broad categories and basing assignment thereon is inefficient.

Framing, for example, isn't a good job for most women- or nerdy or older guys. It is physically punishing, especially on the wrist. It demands thick bones and tendons. The ideal framer was a football player not long ago.

The best finish carpenter I ever had was a woman, however.  Women are just as good as men at precision jobs, such as manning the cut saw.  They are just as good at shingling, especially with air tools.

They are just as good running heavy equipment

I've never known a woman drywall hanger, however. It is another brute force job. Yet there are great woman plasterers.

For some jobs having small hands is asset.

Your forman showed his incompetence when assigned the women to haul lumber. That is exactly the wrong sort of job.  It is a job for unskilled musclebound high-school jocks.

for sharing your journey of self-discovery.  I don't remember any of your offending posts at DKos, but I fully recall the general locker-room thigh slapping and jeering about Hillary Clinton that was allowed to run rampant over there.  That was one of the factors contributing to my departure from that site.

Now that your eyes have been opened to the realities of gender bias, you might take a look at this:  NOW's 2008 Media Hall of Shame

Thanks for caring enough to write this excellent diary.

Another angle.

I was mulling over my previous comment (while conducting the obligatory weekly engine start of idle equipment) , trying to visualize the situation thinking that maybe I was unfair to your foreman. So I re-read the quickly scanned diary & found I misattributed to him the delegation of lumber hauling.

So here is a qualifying statement, with which I in no way mean to undercut your heart-felt and moving diary.

You might have been dealing with exasperated professionalism rather than sexism. The idea that neophytes can just show up and usefully build is pretty damn insulting to builders.

In the traditional japanese carpentry apprenticeship the only tool the apprentice during the first year was the broom. As years passed they were allowed to oil then sharpen tools, but they only were allowed to use good tools near the end of the six years.

I don't envy those who take on shepherding the well intentioned incompetents who come to help.

I long ago gave up hiring anyone without several yeas experience. The beginners are dangers to themselves and to others and they damage expensive materials and equipment.
There is also way too much liability. Others can provide on the job training.

So if I was in his situation my instinct would be to corral anyone inexperienced and especially anyone drifty or unathletic where they could do the least harm.

Now, if he was giving the more demanding jobs to the male couch potato tripping over his outsized pants instead of the female soccer star-- he was wrong. But if he was trying to get the inexperienced and uncoordinated out of the way and safe-- I sympathize.

I enjoyed reading you non political diary. It reminded me very much of another Diary or comment by gladiatorsback (another Obama supporter like yourself) who was discriminated against because he is black. Obama needs more people like you. I hope one day respect for all will reign. Cheers

wow, thanks. I used to go to staff meetings where my smartest comments were later attributed to some man.  Women earn less than men and endure sexist jokes to show we're 'good sports.' One problem with this campaign has been professional woman forced to hear Hillary jokes and pretend to find them funny.  Unfortunately Barack himself started it, when he joked about Hillary's 'experience' married to Bill.  Maureen Dowd was thrilled, and after that his 'jibes' were consistent and relentless. What lost me finally was his assumption that her Bobby Kennedy comment meant he was so superior to her the only way should come win would over his dead body, the dragon lady thing.  It's nice that you paid attention and noticed.  our party is the most to blame, they should have made a statement against that kind of campaigning, and many of us wrote to Howard, told him we didn't like it and wouldn't contribute until he spoke against it. Guess what, he spoke against it the very day Michigan and Florida were decided, and it was decided to give Barack pledged delegates of 'uncommitted. and a few that had been pledged to her.  It's been rough, but we're not shutting up and we're not being good sports. We may vote for Barack, but only because of the war and because he's pledged to get us out of there. I expect very little from a candidate who used character smears against a fellow democrat and the first viable woman candidate for president of the united states. She'll be stand up and to her best to help him win, but he doesn't deserve it. it's only because our country need a democrat, even him, that I'll vote for him. And I'm not giving to the DNC while Howard is chair and while Donna has a voice.  I'm giving to specific down ticket candidates, and to those running against Nancy and John Kerry. I've had it.  

I rec'd your diary -- I'm glad to see this kind of sentiment being expressed.

Also glad that you're boycotting MSNBC and people like Olberman and Matthews who said some of the worst things.

But it wasn't just MSNBC and it wasn't just the media.

Too bad more people didn't see things then as clearly as you do now.

THIS

I am with you now.  I intend to boycott MSNBC (which had been my favorite news site) until they formally acknowledge, as I have here, the harm they have done explicitly and implicitly in this election cycle.

MSNBC?  Let's see.  Fox news is, well, Fox News.  They have been hating and smearing both Clintons for as long as they have been in existence.  CNN?  One Republican CNN analyst (Castellanos) called Hillary a "Bitch" live and never apologized.  Jack Cafferty was not particularly chivalrous towards Hillary Clinton, either.  The singling out of MSNBC, in light of this, seems rather strange.  

Oh, I know, somebody is going to give me a long rap sheet where MSNBC's slights to Hillary are exaggerated in their importance relative to the others, but I am making a relativity argument -- relative to other networks.  Because if MSNBC is being singled out for reasons that don't really have to do with exceptional sexism, then I am left to wonder about the real reasons for the negative attention they are getting from some people here.

In fact, I can recall Terry McAuliffe, for instance, praising Fox News for their fairness.  I can remember Bill Clinton breaking what was an informal boycott of the Rush Limbaugh show.  I remember posters on here praising Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly for their unusual fairness to the Clintons.

It seems pretty obvious to me that a lot of the ire at MSNBC had less to do with sexism than anger at their perceived pro-Obama bias, because God knows, Fox has said some extremely sexist and disturbing things about Hillary and Bill over the years.

I just read your diary, and I skipped all of the comments because I wanted to respond directly to you proseandpromise.

You have moved me very deeply with your diary. As a 44 year old woman who is strong and lesbian, I think I am somehow less impacted by the sexism around me, (less aware as well? Not really sure). You have reminded me very effectively how other women and yes even I am affected by sexism. It's so damn subtle sometimes. Now I can't say for sure, but I think racism is like this as well. We can see the overt and disgusting displays easily, but the subtle stuff is sometimes only identifiable to the person it is directed against.

Your post adds dignity, depth and justice to MyDD. Thank you for posting about what happened at the project and thank you for joining us who work against sexism.  Women are the most oppressed group in the world in terms of numbers and degree of harm and ending sexism should be a top priority for our country and all countries.

Highly recommended...you pour your heart out..wish you all the best.

What a sincere, thoughtful, and courageous diary.  Thank you.

Thank you for the excellent, honest and courageous diary.  I would like to work with other progressive men on a strategy, as men, to combat the rampant (and verbally and sometimes physically) violent sexism that permeates our society.

We progressives need to work together.

Thanks.

Thanks for this diary.  

And I especially want to thank you for bringing this up at KOS.  I used to go to DailyKos every day.  Strangely I supported Obama, but the sexism there got me so much I stopped going. Cleary not everyone there was sexist, but somehow those who were were not called to account. It was a very strange position for me - to see my candidate prevail and to feel kind of sick every day to see the comments that accompanied his success.  On the good side, I discovered myDD recently.  Here no one would be allowed to get away with too much sexism with some of the tough strong women posting here.  lol This is a good thing.

Nice diary and nice sentiment.  Glad you are becoming more aware and are making an effort to educate your fellow young Dems who are so inconsiderate and ignorant of the destructive misogyny that has done so much damage to our party.

That said, I think it will take a very long time to re-educate Dem men and heal the wounds caused by misogyny in the primary.  I wish you the best of luck in turning it around - and those who have done the damage are the only ones who can.

But as I said in an earlier post, for women like me who have spent 20 yrs or more active in the Dem party and who were viciously attacked again and again by fellow Dems in this primary, its too late.

Experience shows it takes a very long time to undo the damage. We won't make it in time for the GE, sorry to say.  Maybe we can try again next election.  But for now, I'm sitting this one out. Don't bother telling me how McCain will win.  With the bizarre mindset and rejection of Dem ideals demonstrated by Obama supporters, if he wins he won't govern much differently than McCain.

Good luck and check back with me in 2 years. I'll gladly work on the midterms, but I'm out of the GE.

Congrats!

I think your diary will have a big impact.

Also, did I see you say that you posted this on TalkLeft? Could you pleas give us the link?

Would you like to cross post this to EENR? (link is in my sig line) If you are not a member, it is easy to join and you can post the same day.

If not, I would be happy to cross post it for you.

Progressive Blue

Sexism was the new "swiftboating" in this election, and I suspect the consequences will be not equally but decidedly disastrous.

Having said that, teenage girls are not women. They are girls.  (Teenage boys as well are not men, they are boys and are referred to as such).

The two girls didn't do their jobs.  The sexism wasn't in calling them girls or ascribing menial jobs to two people who seemed unable to take it upon themselves to prove they could do the harder jobs. The sexism was in not telling these two to get off their duffs, start working hard like everyone else, or else they'd be deservedly assigned menial jobs.