This strategy was devised during a week-long retreat in which conservatives from around the state met to fight the lavender menace. The conference was sponsored by several groups, including "Fagbusters," "Women in Subservience to Dominant Men (WiSDoM)," and "Vermonters Against Unwanted Godless Heathens."

"We've got to put a lid on this," said special guest Louisiana Senator David Vitter, during a speech at the conference. "If we let those people marry, it's going to muck up marriage for all of us, making it a soiled and dirty institution, no longer graced by the sanctity of God. If this happens, next time I get divorced I won't even bother with a new trophy wife. I may be forced to give up on traditional marriage entirely, and visit prostitute after prostitute instead, provided they're all real Americans."

The comment was met by applause from many of the conference attendees, all of whom coincidentally happened to be men older than fifty.

Related:

• Massachusetts Supreme Court Orders All Citizens To Gay Marry;


• Gay Couple Feels Pressured To Marry