Your candidate refuses to recognize the reasoned, logical, enlightened position of the opposition on each and every issue.
Your candidate's supporters are (gasp!) BIASED!
Your candidate stubbornly refuses to release records, personal papers, DNA sequences, etc. that might be helpful in opposition research fishing expeditions.
Your candidate refuses to stop trying to win.
Your candidate's campaign shamelessly spins news events in your candidate's favor.
Your candidate's campaign interprets arcane party rules in your candidate's favor.
Your candidate has friends who have said nasty things at various points in their lives.
Your candidate has accused the opposition of having friends who have said nasty things at various points in their lives.
Your candidate is trying to influence the votes of convention delegates.
Your candidate is getting votes from independents and Republicans.
Your candidate is exceptionally egotistical and ambitious.
All this leads to one of two obvious conclusions. Either:
a) Your candidate is trying to destroy the space-time continuum.
b) Your candidate is running a campaign to win the Democratic Party's nomination for President.
Well, which is it?
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