...an able danger to my re-election prospects...

occuring too often in my dreams lately, where he is naked, eating carrots and talking about my mother.

"sleeping with my mother after he murdered my father and installed himself as the King of Denmark"

...not sufficiently devoted to humanity's Savior, Messiah, Returning Lord and True Parent, Sun Myung Moon.

"worried about the deficit and how the economy is hurting the working class, and is staying up late working on all of the problems he has ignored during the last 5 years."

"a major league asshat"

... part of the homosexual agend, like Spongebob and Tinkywinky ...

"Isn't willing to attack my opponent's sick daughter, and if he's willing to cut-and-run on the issue of little girl receiving cancer treatment, then I don't want to be on the same stage as him."

...back in the fifth dimension after being tricked into saying his name backwards...

President Bush "goes to Pennsylvania tomorrow to campaign for embattled Republican House members in the Philadelphia suburbs," but Rep. Curt Weldon (R) says Bush "is in possession of the transceiver, because I saw him wink at me during that last televised speech about the Mexicans" and explains that he won't be on hand and hasn't asked for the president's help.

".. is simply a figment of my imagination; I'm working through this with my therapist..."

"...tearin' at my heart, my achy breaky heart. He might blow up and kill this country ooooo..."

- apologies to Billy Ray Cyrus.

- on second thought, no apologies.

- on third thought, the fact that I even know or remember those lyrics probably warrants banishment.

"...not a Conservative..."

Hahahaha... run away, Goopers, run away fast as you can...

"off the wagon again..."

"in a different jurisdiction than I am. He's making the US look insane, while I'm trying to embarrass the shit out of good old PA."

"not nearly as worthy of a medal as Moammar Gadhafi, and not nearly as worthy of a crown as Rev. Moon"

"coming to consummate a marriage that I neither approve of politically nor remember, thanks to that bottle of SoCo."

"gonna try out his new "Colbert" routine on me but he's just not funny"

peering in Bob Casey's house

"sane"

"...hey, who stole my underpants?!  Wait, what were we talking about?  Oh yeah..."

"only interested in campaigning for members who talk about man-on-dog action. That's hot."

"too liberal and out of touch with middle America".

President Bush "goes to Pennsylvania tomorrow to campaign for embattled Republican House members in the Philadelphia suburbs," but Rep. Curt Weldon (R) says Bush "is contaminated with an alien pathogen by the CIA to take me out... because I know too much." and explains that he won't be on hand and hasn't asked for the president's help.

"is convinced that God did something in his momma's ear and wants me to say " Hail Barbra, full of grace" on the podium with him."

"someone who doesn't send his daughters to Pennsylvania hospitals"

..."so depressed of late that he's been neglecting to launder his codpiece"...

"able to communicate with me telepathically or a series of high pitched hoots and whistles"

is an amiable enough guy who one day in 1988 was standing a little close to a mysterious large green pod and after that he just wasn't the same.

Bush "is an illegal immigrant coming to knock me down, steal my job, and make sweet, sweet love to my wife,"

"...not sufficiently engaged in the fight for peace and freedom from fear and in true health through the purity and essence of our natural fluids."