i'm more afraid i'll shoot myself

My mistrust of this government is exactly why I don't want them regulating the internet!

Mike,
Its not really accurate to say that this would be the first federal regulation of the Internet. The reality is that the application of telco common-carriage requirements (which are, in principle very similar to net neutrality requirements) to Internet traffic was key to enabling the Internet and the ISP business to grow from nothing to something very large, important and beneficial in the dial-up days.  

If cable and telephone companies aren't willing to invest in network upgrades to deliver a truly open Internet, then they should step aside and let local communities find creative (and unfettered) ways to raise the funds to do it themselves (BTW, does your principled opposition to regulation of the Internet apply to telco-backed bills that would restrict cities' ability to deploy municipal broadband networks to deliver Internet services?)  

To cater to the demands of two duopolists that are trying to salvage business models based on outdated networks and excess market power so they can modestly enhance their networks without risk, while throttling Internet bandwidth and Internet-based competition to insure favorable treatment by Wall Street is a policy that benefits only the cable and telephone companies and their shareholders, not the American people.  

Let's remember that the U.S. is ranked only about 13th in broadband penetration under today's "unregulated" duopoly regime.  If pipe-owners want to leverage their excess market power to put the open Internet (which IS the Internet) in the slow lane so their walled-garden of articially-high-margin services can capture a larger share of service revenue, then I don't understand the "principle" of "not regulating the Internet" you refer to...this isn't regulation of the Internet, its regulation of the pipe owners who want to stifle the Internet through "private regulation" enabled by excess market power.