The Democratic Bogeyman Cattle Call ranks the various phantoms that are blamed for the current failings of the Democratic Party. Those with actual power are not eligible for the Cattle Call.
#1--The DLC. Still the champ, but holding steady rather than rising. Repeatedly blamed for everything by progressives, "DLC" has grown to the point of becoming both an adjective and a pejorative. However, what really distinguishes the DLC from the other bogeymen and allows it to maintain a firm grasp on the top-spot in these rankings is its unique combination of being unable to recognize its impotence while simultaneously engaging in phantom blaming of its own. As a result, there is an enormous gap between the DLC and second place, although the gap was even greater during the final months of 2003. The once powerful internal organization in the Democratic Party has seen a precipitous decline in influence that continues unabated. Now, the DLC basically seems to be Al From.
#2--Pacifists. For most of 2003 and 2004, Pacifists would have been ranked near the bottom of the list, as national opposition to the war in Iraq skyrocketed. Even Kerry and Edwards jumped on the bandwagon, and as Iraq spiraled downward all manner of hawkish publications penned public apologies and / or retractions of their support for Bush's war. For a couple months after Abu Gharib, opposing the war briefly became the majority position in the nation, thus nearly removing pacifists from the bogeyman radar altogether. However, many pundits are turning against the original "values voters" rationale for Bush's victory, and have now settled on national security as the main issue that propelled Bush to victory. Further, over the past week Democratic hawks have found a new bogeyman: those who opposed the war in Afghanistan, a group that is supposedly led by Michael Moore and MoveOn. Of course, pacifist opponents of the Afghan war are a true bogeyman, since in the early months of the war they numbered in the single digits nationwide.
#3--Paperless Voting Machines. Although not the focus of widespread public discussion either before or after the election, those who push this bogeyman have always been nothing if not loud. In the post-election world, they are becoming louder. The paperless voting machine bogeyman, viewed in these rankings as separate from election tampering and disenfranchisement in general--a separation encouraged by many people in both camps--is really starting to emerge. While the author of these rankings finds this is be a noble cause, frequent claims made about the machines, notably that conservatives can only win as a result of the machines, is a clear case of a bogeyman.
#4--Liberal Elites. After a brief period of popularity for post-election screeds against secularists, and recent convulsions from Al From and Will Marshall against "Hollywood," the faction of the Democratic Party that is not only complicit with, but supportive of, the Great Backlash narrative against phantom "liberal elites" seems to be losing its voice. The complaint is still out there, but with party figures such as Lieberman sinking in national prestige, it lacks the force it once had.
#5--Tin-foil hats. While claims about stolen elections peaked in November and have held pretty much steady ever since, complaints about the tin-foil hat wing of the Democratic Party have seen a noticeable increase in volume, though not quantity, over the past two or three weeks. In fact, as the certification of electors draws near, I would not be surprised if this bogeyman soon passes both Liberal Elites and Paperless Voting Machines in the Bogeyman Cattle Call. This will almost certainly happen if hawk complaints about the pacifist bogeyman subside, and a void needs to be filled. On the other hand, with almost every single Democratic leader now joining in the clean election effort and the sliding popularity of figures such as Bev Harris, these complaints could just as easily dry up and cause the tin-foil phantom to drop further in the rankings.
#6--Protests / Rallies Around the time of the Republican convention, Eric Alterman, among others, blamed protesters for a long-term, national, Democratic image problem. Protesters were a major Democratic bogeyman in August, but fell off the map in September and declined even further as Kerry rallies became enormous in size across the nation. Suddenly, rallies were good, rather than bad. However, since that election, no one has said anything about them, positive or negative, so they hold steady.
#7--Iowa and New Hampshire. With the 2004 election over, and discussions about 2008 already under way, complaints about the importance of Iowa and New Hampshire in the Presidential nomination process have ticked up a bit. Right now, this is not a major complaint, but just wait a few more years. (While this may not seem like a phantom, it is. The media and a complacent public, not Iowa and New Hampshire themselves, bestow these two states with their importance. If either primary voters or the media paid more attention to the nominating process before these states, they would not have their current level of importance.)
#8--Ralph Nader. Starting with his rebuff at the Green Party convention, Nader's status as a Democratic Party bogeyman has long been in decline. In the months that followed, poor fundraising, a complete lack of activist visibility, horrendous ballot troubles and wretched poll showings solidified his decline. However, even his 0.36% national showing on November 2nd was not the low-point in status as a bogeyman, as his subsequent work on recounting New Hampshire has actually improved his image in the eyes of many Democrats.
Feel free to disagree with my rankings and make some of your own in the comments. Also, let me know what bogeymen I failed to rank.
