Traditionally self-identification has always allowed wider margins of expression than labeling-the-other.
E.g., don't use the d--- word if you're not a lesbian yourself, or the n----- word if you're not black.
Yeah well f___ that.
That's friggin Orwellian.
No, politeness vs rudeness has nothing to do with Orwell. Everything to do with proper-vs-improper familiarity.
Someone can't be polite/rude/offensive to him/herself. Another person can however be polite/rude/offensive to them.
Therefore I can be offended by words you say to me, even though I would not be offended if I said the same things about myself.
Is this now plain enough for you to understand?
Really, the concept of improper familiarity is hardly a new one.
