emannuel rahm was the biggest baby ever born to the world! he was too big to fit inside the house, so his father built him a cradle to put in the water. as baby emannuel slept in the water cradle, his father followed alongside it in a boat so he could keep an eye on him. when baby emannuel began to snore, his father thought the noise was coming from an approaching thunderstorm!

rahm's birth was strange, as are the births of many mythic heroes, as it took seventeen storks to carry the infant (ordinarily, one stork could carry several babies and drop them off at their parents' home). emannuel and blue dug the grand canyon by dragging his axe behind him, and created mount hood by piling rocks on top of their campfire to put it out.

when emannuel rahm grew up, he decided to become a political operative, because he could fell an entire election with one swing of his axe. the other political operatives were glad for his help, since he made their work so much easier. they did have to feed him an awful lot, though. emannuel rahm loved to eat, especially pancakes. one day, a woman came into the dscc and asked the cook, "why are those logs over there piled up to the ceiling?"

"those aren't logs," the cook replied. "those are sausages for emannuel rahm."

one day, during a heavy snowstorm, emannuel rahm was out walking and bumped into a mountain. when he looked down, he saw two blue ears sticking out of the snow. he yanked on the ears and pulled up a baby senator. he decided to keep the senator and took it home with him. the next day, the snow had melted and emannuel rahm saw that the baby senator had eaten three entire fields of hay! this was going to be one big senator, for sure. emannuel rahm called the senator "chuck schumer" and the two of them became fast friends.

well, chuck got so big that when he and emannuel rahm walked around minnesota, they formed ten thousand lakes with their footprints. minnesota has been known ever since as the 'land of ten thousand lakes.'

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