Jerry Lee Giuliani and the Bilious Bimbo
by Glenn Smith, Tue Mar 06, 2007 at 03:12:13 AM EST
With all due respect to the Rock & Roller, Rudy Guiliani is the Jerry Lee Lewis of American politics. He married his cousin. That's incest. When Jerry Lee did it, it destroyed his career.
So it's Jerry Lee Giuliani. He ought to be on the ballot that way. Some might consider this an outrageous thing to say, of course. The politics of personal destruction and all that.
But who cares that I said it? Still, I have no less standing than Ann Coulter. More, really, since I have actually been engaged for two decades in constructive political organizing, campaign managing and consulting, and political writing that has actually helped, in some modest and nearly imperceptible way, determine the outcome of some races and shed some tiny amount of light on how our process works. But I'm not on cable news talking about Jerry Lee Giuliani. The Bilious Bimbo hurls her slurs at John Edwards, however, and it is news. It shouldn't be.
The Bilious Bimbo is a nobody. What she thinks and what she says is meaningless by every possible standard of news. This complaint is not really about her, though. Might as well complain about hives. The itchy spot just gets itchier when it's scratched. No, my complaint is with those who give her a platform to speak.
The death of Anna Nicole Smith, the travails of Britney Spears, and the poor lost-in-space exploits of a love-sick astronaut have dominated the news lately. But even the celebrity sucking shows are wondering out loud how they wound up making nobodies famous, or famous people famous because they were famous. I saw just such a self-referential story on the airport t.v. the other night. Ah, the infinite regress of our mirrored reality.
Well, so it is with Coulter. She's empty as a Krispy Kreme. Nothing about our democracy depends upon what she thinks or says. She will be ignored by history, and she should be ignored by us.
Giving Ann Coulter a platform to spew filth is like marrying your cousin. And the news media's marriage to her should be annulled. Now.
If Jerry Lee Giuliani or the Bilious Bimbo or the media take offense at the above, I'd like to quote Judge Roy Bean, as portrayed by Paul Newman in the 1972 movie about the cantakerous, 19th Century Texas hanging judge. Bean, you see, had angered the ladies of Langtry by calling them whores. Here's how he apologized when his deputies, married to these same ladies, asked him to restore domestic tranquility by apologizing for his comment.
l understand you've taken exception...to my calling you whores. l'm sorry. l apologize. l ask you to note...that l did not call you callous-ass strumpets...fornicatresses, or low-born gutter sluts. But l did say whores. No escaping that. And for that slip of the tongue...l apologize.